Better than I thought

Well, no seemed pissed I had to take a couple extra days off. Everyone was pretty understanding, in fact, and showed concern. 'Cept for the guy who brought the cold to work in the first place. He didn't really even acknowledge I was gone. So while he was there Monday morning, I made a big show of how much it hurt to cough, what with having a thing in my chest and all. **Cough*cough** "Ow. Oooh." **Moan, groan.** Just to rub it in a little.

I guess I tend to prepare myself mentally for the worst (that's what my driver's ed instructor always said to do). I psyche myself up (or down?) for getting chewed out about something at work, or pissing someone off, etc, and think about how I would respond (the fantasy, "take this job and shove it" response usually). And then when things turn out better than I thought, it kinda lifts my spirits. On the other hand, sometimes I dwell on the negative so much, it puts me in a bad mood, and then, yeah, I do have a crappy day.

With the cancer, though, I haven't been doing that. It's not like I've been imagining getting the worst possible news from the doc, or planning my funeral, writing my own obit, etc. I've actually been picturing this as being a breeze (I know it won't be). I just imagine that the chemo will be an opportunity to catch up on my reading, or finally writing my best-selling novel, and then a year from now, it's all just a bad memory. Even the possible hair loss doesn't worry me. In fact, I've been browsing for some cool bandanas to wear.

Tomorrow, I found out about my chemo treatment. I'll see the oncologist around 10:30 a.m. (I did so tell you about that appointment, boss, and I have the e-mail in my sent file to prove it!)

I've been going outside with Nipper for awhile at the end of the evening the last few days so he can do his favorite thing -- lay in the grass and occasionally bark at things -- without worrying if he's going to go check out the bunnies in the flower garden, and it's kind of nice. Even though it's been 100+ lately, by 10 p.m. it's pretty nice out. Thousands of crickets are singing in unison, there's still the occasional locust and then there are the Weird Sounds down by the creek. Last night it seemed to be a cantankerous great blue heron. Tonight is pretty calm, though. Just the sound of the wind through the leaves of my precious pecan tree. Very peaceful.

If my neighbor down the alley fires up his noisy truck at 1 a.m. again, I will take my baseball bat and beat the crap out that junker, though.