Today I had a bad hair day.
Yay!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Two in one day
Well, in addition to seeing my oncologist this morning, I saw the radiation oncologist this afternoon after my radiation. That's more poking and prodding I've had in one day in quite awhile. He, too, said everything seems to be going well, and added something that I thought was quite amazing. He said that in 22 years, I am the first person he's seen that had the tumor gone by the time surgery came around. Usually, there's some small amount of the tumor to be found, but not in my case. Another first chalked up to me!
Doing OK
Visited with the doc this morning and she says I'm doing real well. I asked her about the article from yesterday about cancer spreading to the brain, and she said mostly she's seen that when there's a recurrence, so she's not too concerned about it with me. In my case, she said, she'll watch for the symptoms. So I'm not as worried about that now, because I am NOT going to have a recurrence.
Monday, February 20, 2006
More cancer news
This one is kind of scary:
Doctors want to find spreading cancer
It's scary because Herceptin is the drug I'm on through the end of the year. Fortunately, I see my oncologist tomorrow, so this will be something to ask about.
I had an MRI soon after I was diagnosed, and at that time it was clean. But I think at least one followup ought to be in the plan for the year. I've seen on a couple bulletin boards where women with bc had it spread to their brains, and it didn't sound good -- headaches, vision problems, vomiting, surgeries, rehab. Since I'm in the car about 30-40 minutes a day (that doesn't include if I have to go get lunch), I really don't want to risk something happening while I'm behind the wheel.
Anyway, it's the start of week three of radiation. So far so good. The breast is a bit tender and itchy at times, but no burning or anything yet.
Doctors want to find spreading cancer
More patients are surviving initial tumors long enough for their brains to be at risk, as treatments get better at battling cancer below the neck yet fail to protect the brain.
Now, breast specialists in particular are reporting an increasing number of women who beat back cancer elsewhere in the body, only to have it flare in the brain. It seems to be a special concern among users of Herceptin, a powerful drug that targets an aggressive type of breast cancer - everywhere except in the brain, because it's too large a molecule to penetrate the blood-brain barrier ...
It's scary because Herceptin is the drug I'm on through the end of the year. Fortunately, I see my oncologist tomorrow, so this will be something to ask about.
I had an MRI soon after I was diagnosed, and at that time it was clean. But I think at least one followup ought to be in the plan for the year. I've seen on a couple bulletin boards where women with bc had it spread to their brains, and it didn't sound good -- headaches, vision problems, vomiting, surgeries, rehab. Since I'm in the car about 30-40 minutes a day (that doesn't include if I have to go get lunch), I really don't want to risk something happening while I'm behind the wheel.
Anyway, it's the start of week three of radiation. So far so good. The breast is a bit tender and itchy at times, but no burning or anything yet.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
I'm back
Back in the newsroom, that is. My last lab work was normal for all readings, and the nurse practitioner told me this week that the radiation shouldn't affect my counts too much. So I had my computer moved back into the newsroom Wednesday. It's kind of hard getting used to all the noise and activity again. On one hand, I missed all the noise, but on the other it was kind of nice to be away from it and have a private place to talk with co-workers.
I'm feeling great, physically, too and it feels good to feel good. I feel as good as I did before all the chemo started, in fact. No fatigue, stomach aches, constipation, etc. etc. And there's no affects from the radiation yet, either, except some soreness at my incision scar. It's not anything major, though; just some occasional discomfort. I expect to see something soon, though, as from what I've read it does take a couple weeks for anything to show up. I've been using aloe vera gel and trying to exercise. It's going to be pretty cold through the next handful of days, though, so I don't know how much exercise I'll get.
It's nice that things are really looking up again.
I'm feeling great, physically, too and it feels good to feel good. I feel as good as I did before all the chemo started, in fact. No fatigue, stomach aches, constipation, etc. etc. And there's no affects from the radiation yet, either, except some soreness at my incision scar. It's not anything major, though; just some occasional discomfort. I expect to see something soon, though, as from what I've read it does take a couple weeks for anything to show up. I've been using aloe vera gel and trying to exercise. It's going to be pretty cold through the next handful of days, though, so I don't know how much exercise I'll get.
It's nice that things are really looking up again.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Quiet weekend
Again. It was a good one to decompress from a hectic Friday at work. Saturday, I did absolutely nothing. I didn't even get out of my PJs. I slept late, stayed up late, and in between surfed the Web, snuggled with the dog, watched the birds at the birdfeeder, surfed the Web, watched a movie, channel surfed and surfed the Web.
I made up for that today. Not that I didn't have a lot of down time to just relax, but I did load up the dishwasher and do my laundry and change the sheets on my bed. I watched some of the Olympics coverage (poor Apolo!) and did some reading. So now I guess I'm ready to face Monday. Or as much as I ever can be to face a Monday.
I made up for that today. Not that I didn't have a lot of down time to just relax, but I did load up the dishwasher and do my laundry and change the sheets on my bed. I watched some of the Olympics coverage (poor Apolo!) and did some reading. So now I guess I'm ready to face Monday. Or as much as I ever can be to face a Monday.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Cancer in the news
Good news about cancer out today. The number of cancer deaths in the U.S. has decreased, at least in 2003.
Biopsies are best. Studies show biopsies are still the best way to determine breast cancer.
This one is incredibly sad. A woman in New Zealand begs for the money to pay for Herceptin.
New Zealand isn't the only country where there is probably happening, though.
Herceptin protester ends vigil after vote
Judgment reserved in Herceptin case
Considering the recent studies about Herceptin's effectiveness, I hope other countries come to realize it should be made available to those women it would help.
-- Breast cancer remains the most common cancer other than skin cancer among women, with an estimated 212,920 new cases and 40,970 deaths expected in 2006. Despite increasing incidence, the breast cancer death rate continues to fall.
Biopsies are best. Studies show biopsies are still the best way to determine breast cancer.
This one is incredibly sad. A woman in New Zealand begs for the money to pay for Herceptin.
Government funding of the drug is available only for women in advanced stages of breast cancer and others have to pay between $70,000 and $120,000 for a course of treatment.
Health advocates have said the policy means women with early-stage HER-2 positive cancers must choose either to find the money to optimise their chances of living or go without and accept the risk of a worse outcome.
New Zealand isn't the only country where there is probably happening, though.
Herceptin protester ends vigil after vote
Judgment reserved in Herceptin case
Considering the recent studies about Herceptin's effectiveness, I hope other countries come to realize it should be made available to those women it would help.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Piece of cake
... or easy as pie, whichever dessert you prefer.
Today was my first radiation treatment. From the time I sat down in the waiting room to when I walked out the doors to my car was all of 15 minutes. And next time will probably be even less because they took a couple of measurements that they won't have to do every time. Basically, I go in and partially undress (at least I don't have to have my bare bottom hanging out of the hospital gown), then lay on a table. There's a big machine at the head of table, part of which curves up and over and ends in big circular part that can rotate above and around you from one side to the other. The radiation therapists push and pull me around until I'm all lined up properly, then they leave the room to operate the equipment. The machine rotated first to above and to my right, and there was a couple moments of buzzing. Then it moved to below and to my left, more buzzing, and that was about it. I thought I felt a warm sensation in my breast during the treatment, but that might have been in my head.
There are things I have to remember, though. I can't use deodorant on my left side, because the metals in it can react with the radiation, apparently. So I use cornstarch instead. I'm going to try and put aloe vera gel on every day to help keep the skin from drying out or getting red. I also need to remember to drink plenty of water, since that will help hydrate the skin (and keep future kidney stones at bay) and eat plenty of protein, which helps the skin to rebuild. We'll see what happens.
On a side note, why is there more and more hype about the Superbowl every year, but the next day all anyone can say is how much the game itself sucked?
Today was my first radiation treatment. From the time I sat down in the waiting room to when I walked out the doors to my car was all of 15 minutes. And next time will probably be even less because they took a couple of measurements that they won't have to do every time. Basically, I go in and partially undress (at least I don't have to have my bare bottom hanging out of the hospital gown), then lay on a table. There's a big machine at the head of table, part of which curves up and over and ends in big circular part that can rotate above and around you from one side to the other. The radiation therapists push and pull me around until I'm all lined up properly, then they leave the room to operate the equipment. The machine rotated first to above and to my right, and there was a couple moments of buzzing. Then it moved to below and to my left, more buzzing, and that was about it. I thought I felt a warm sensation in my breast during the treatment, but that might have been in my head.
There are things I have to remember, though. I can't use deodorant on my left side, because the metals in it can react with the radiation, apparently. So I use cornstarch instead. I'm going to try and put aloe vera gel on every day to help keep the skin from drying out or getting red. I also need to remember to drink plenty of water, since that will help hydrate the skin (and keep future kidney stones at bay) and eat plenty of protein, which helps the skin to rebuild. We'll see what happens.
On a side note, why is there more and more hype about the Superbowl every year, but the next day all anyone can say is how much the game itself sucked?
Friday, February 03, 2006
Inked up
Tried to post last night, but Blogger wouldn't respond for some reason, so here goes again.
Thursday I finished the set-up for my radiation. I met with two radiation therapists, probably two I'll see a lot of (and they'll see a lot of me, in more ways than one), and they had me lay on a table while they shoved me around to match up Tuesday's drawings and put even more marks all over my chest. I look like someone was trying to draw some directions to somewhere ("you go up over this hill, then turn south at the armpit ... "). Then they took pictures to help make sure everything was set up how the doc wanted. When that was OK, I got my tats. Nothing cool. They just smeared a little ink on six spots and jabbed me with a needle. That was it.
I think I'm going to continue with the Herceptin, despite the lowered reading on my MUGA scan. From what I've been reading, MUGA scans aren't all that accurate, off either way by as much as 5 percent. I feel fine, and the heart damage Herceptin causes is correctable by going off the drug for a short time. A lot of people on the discussion boards also mention getting exercise to help keep the heart in shape. So I'll get back into the habit of walking the dog every day after work, and maybe trying yoga at least a couple times a week. That should also help keep the fatigue from the radiation at bay as well.
I had lunch with a prof from college on Wednesday. It was good to talk to her. She's had a rough year herself. She thinks I should have enough credits that I could get the bachelor of general studies without having to take any classes. That would be great, although I can't remember how many math and science classes I've taken. I tended to avoid that department. She also encourage me to go for a master's. I'm not sure what I'd do with that. Teaching is a possibility, but I think I'd have to shoot for the college level for that. You can't teach just journalism in too many secondary schools that I've ever heard of, and I'm not sure I want to take four or more years to get an education degree and find another area I could teach. I also have to keep in mind I don't want to lose my full-time status at work while I'm still in treatment. That Herceptin is expensive! So I have some thinking to do, I guess.
Thursday I finished the set-up for my radiation. I met with two radiation therapists, probably two I'll see a lot of (and they'll see a lot of me, in more ways than one), and they had me lay on a table while they shoved me around to match up Tuesday's drawings and put even more marks all over my chest. I look like someone was trying to draw some directions to somewhere ("you go up over this hill, then turn south at the armpit ... "). Then they took pictures to help make sure everything was set up how the doc wanted. When that was OK, I got my tats. Nothing cool. They just smeared a little ink on six spots and jabbed me with a needle. That was it.
I think I'm going to continue with the Herceptin, despite the lowered reading on my MUGA scan. From what I've been reading, MUGA scans aren't all that accurate, off either way by as much as 5 percent. I feel fine, and the heart damage Herceptin causes is correctable by going off the drug for a short time. A lot of people on the discussion boards also mention getting exercise to help keep the heart in shape. So I'll get back into the habit of walking the dog every day after work, and maybe trying yoga at least a couple times a week. That should also help keep the fatigue from the radiation at bay as well.
I had lunch with a prof from college on Wednesday. It was good to talk to her. She's had a rough year herself. She thinks I should have enough credits that I could get the bachelor of general studies without having to take any classes. That would be great, although I can't remember how many math and science classes I've taken. I tended to avoid that department. She also encourage me to go for a master's. I'm not sure what I'd do with that. Teaching is a possibility, but I think I'd have to shoot for the college level for that. You can't teach just journalism in too many secondary schools that I've ever heard of, and I'm not sure I want to take four or more years to get an education degree and find another area I could teach. I also have to keep in mind I don't want to lose my full-time status at work while I'm still in treatment. That Herceptin is expensive! So I have some thinking to do, I guess.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Good news and eh kind of news
It's been a busy week, what with medical appointments every day for three days.
Today was a follow-up on my kidney stone. I had an X-ray this morning before meeting with the urologist, and he said it showed the left kidney is clean, and the small stone in my right kidney hasn't grown any. So that's at least good news. He said I could go ahead and have another lithotripsy and go ahead and get rid of that one, or wait and see if I pass it. I decided to wait and see. I'm just really tired of having things done to me, so even if it causes me pain again, I'd rather skip another visit to the OR. But he said if I drink plenty of water and avoid too much tea and cranberry juice (there's some substance in those that cause stones), it shouldn't grow.
Tuesday was my first visit with the radiation oncologist. I was impressed he could recite my treatment history without having my file or any notes in front of him. He answered my questions nicely, too. We met with a nurse first (Kelly, one of my favorite chemo nurses. She's a "floater," working as a fill-in, and is working in the radiation side for a while) and had the usual rundown of history and so forth. Then we met with the doc and his assistant (her name is Babe, believe it or not) and kind of went through some of the same info. The doc explained what else I would go through that day and what the radiation sessions would be like. Then a brief exam, and it was off to have a CT scan so they determine what radiation dosage I would get and to help them pinpoint what areas to radiate. The radiation tech had me lay on the scanner's table, and get into the position I'll be in during the treatment. Basically, I lay flat on my back with my left arm above my head. I was on a pillow full of Styrofoam pellets that was then vacuum-sealed so I can lay in the same position at each treatment. Then the doc came in and drew on my chest and side with a Sharpie, then the tech (who had VERY cold hands) drew some more. His marks were covered over with tape so they don't wash off. Those marks will be used when I go back tomorrow to finish the set-up process and to put the tattoos on me that they'll use to line up the equipment. It was kind of hard to hold still while they were marking up my sides, 'cause I'm awful ticklish. But I managed. Then it was into the scanner. This all took a little under a half hour.
I always thought if I got a tattoo, it would at least be something cool. But alas, my first ones will be little dots on my chest. They'll use these to help make sure I get radiated in the same place each time. I start the treatments on Monday, and it'll done five days a week for seven weeks. Most of the treatments will radiate the whole breast, but the last ones will be what they call a "boost," which are directed specifically at the site where the lump was. The actual treatment takes only about 10 minutes. I'll probably try to schedule it during an extra-long lunch hour, since the afternoon will work better with our production schedule at work.
After that, I'm basically done. Except for the Herceptin treatment, which may be extended. Monday, I had a MUGA scan, which basically measures how my heart is doing. Herceptin is known to cause heart damage, and I have to have a result of at least 50 percent to continue treatment. This time the result was 52 percent, down from 59 at the last one in December and 65 percent at my first one in August. When the cancer center called about it this morning, they said my oncologist said I have a choice. I can continue the Herceptin for four weeks or I can halt it for four weeks. Either way, I'll have another MUGA scan in four weeks. I haven't made up my mind yet. I feel fine, but that might not necessarily be an indicator something is wrong. I suppose if I decide to continue it, I can always change my mind if I start feeling funny.
The busy week has come to an end, though. Tomorrow, it's back to my usual schedule. At least this has made for a short work week. I hope I remember what my job actually is.
Today was a follow-up on my kidney stone. I had an X-ray this morning before meeting with the urologist, and he said it showed the left kidney is clean, and the small stone in my right kidney hasn't grown any. So that's at least good news. He said I could go ahead and have another lithotripsy and go ahead and get rid of that one, or wait and see if I pass it. I decided to wait and see. I'm just really tired of having things done to me, so even if it causes me pain again, I'd rather skip another visit to the OR. But he said if I drink plenty of water and avoid too much tea and cranberry juice (there's some substance in those that cause stones), it shouldn't grow.
Tuesday was my first visit with the radiation oncologist. I was impressed he could recite my treatment history without having my file or any notes in front of him. He answered my questions nicely, too. We met with a nurse first (Kelly, one of my favorite chemo nurses. She's a "floater," working as a fill-in, and is working in the radiation side for a while) and had the usual rundown of history and so forth. Then we met with the doc and his assistant (her name is Babe, believe it or not) and kind of went through some of the same info. The doc explained what else I would go through that day and what the radiation sessions would be like. Then a brief exam, and it was off to have a CT scan so they determine what radiation dosage I would get and to help them pinpoint what areas to radiate. The radiation tech had me lay on the scanner's table, and get into the position I'll be in during the treatment. Basically, I lay flat on my back with my left arm above my head. I was on a pillow full of Styrofoam pellets that was then vacuum-sealed so I can lay in the same position at each treatment. Then the doc came in and drew on my chest and side with a Sharpie, then the tech (who had VERY cold hands) drew some more. His marks were covered over with tape so they don't wash off. Those marks will be used when I go back tomorrow to finish the set-up process and to put the tattoos on me that they'll use to line up the equipment. It was kind of hard to hold still while they were marking up my sides, 'cause I'm awful ticklish. But I managed. Then it was into the scanner. This all took a little under a half hour.
I always thought if I got a tattoo, it would at least be something cool. But alas, my first ones will be little dots on my chest. They'll use these to help make sure I get radiated in the same place each time. I start the treatments on Monday, and it'll done five days a week for seven weeks. Most of the treatments will radiate the whole breast, but the last ones will be what they call a "boost," which are directed specifically at the site where the lump was. The actual treatment takes only about 10 minutes. I'll probably try to schedule it during an extra-long lunch hour, since the afternoon will work better with our production schedule at work.
After that, I'm basically done. Except for the Herceptin treatment, which may be extended. Monday, I had a MUGA scan, which basically measures how my heart is doing. Herceptin is known to cause heart damage, and I have to have a result of at least 50 percent to continue treatment. This time the result was 52 percent, down from 59 at the last one in December and 65 percent at my first one in August. When the cancer center called about it this morning, they said my oncologist said I have a choice. I can continue the Herceptin for four weeks or I can halt it for four weeks. Either way, I'll have another MUGA scan in four weeks. I haven't made up my mind yet. I feel fine, but that might not necessarily be an indicator something is wrong. I suppose if I decide to continue it, I can always change my mind if I start feeling funny.
The busy week has come to an end, though. Tomorrow, it's back to my usual schedule. At least this has made for a short work week. I hope I remember what my job actually is.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Feeling better
Things are looking up. I don't have a constant upset stomach, I can eat tasty food again, and I'm generally feeling more upbeat. It's amazing how cancer drugs can affect every facet of your life.
Still not loving my job, but some days can make up for the bad ones. My co-page designer was gone today (daycare problems, it seems) so I did page one, and on a day when we had a big story. Wednesday afternoon, there was a chase on the interstate that ended in a shootout. The two people in the car were killed, and it turns out they are suspects in a Utah murder. Add to that the student teacher who was arrested after almost 40 pounds of pot was found in his car on school grounds, and it's been an interesting week around here. That doesn't happen often. When it does, though, there's kind of an electricity in the newsroom, and that reminds me of one of the reasons I got into this business in the first place. Tomorrow, back the to drudgery, though: it's wedding page day.
I think I might still look into finishing my degree (that would be my bachelor's, by the way). I was looking at the local university's online course catalog the other day, and it wouldn't take too much, I don't think, but if I took just one course a semester, it might take a year or so. If I went for my journalism degree, I figure it'd be around 11 hours. There's another required course for the journalism degree they added (on electronic media), and I'd have to finish the Spanish III course. I might be able to do those online. There's also a couple of lab classes I'm not sure I ever took. On the other hand, I might be able to get a bachelor of general studies with even less work. I think there, I might have a course in the sciences to meet the requirements. I've probably got enough hours in communication to meet the area of concentration requirement, but I'm not sure about the electives requirement. I'm having lunch next week with a prof from my college days, so I'll probably ask her what she thinks.
I finally got around to finishing cleaning my room. Now I just have some filing and organizing to do. Got my taxes started and that refund is looking good! I should use it to pay bills, but I might splurge and get me a nice new chair for the living room or my bedroom, or use it to paint the rest of the rooms in the house and do some decorating and landscaping.
Next week, I have three days in a row of medical appointments: Monday is a MUGA scan to make sure the Herceptin isn't damaging my heart; Tuesday is my appointment to set up for radiation and also Herceptin day; and Wednesday is my checkup with the urologist on my kidney stone. I guess at least I'll have some time away from work. That's always one way to look at it.
Still not loving my job, but some days can make up for the bad ones. My co-page designer was gone today (daycare problems, it seems) so I did page one, and on a day when we had a big story. Wednesday afternoon, there was a chase on the interstate that ended in a shootout. The two people in the car were killed, and it turns out they are suspects in a Utah murder. Add to that the student teacher who was arrested after almost 40 pounds of pot was found in his car on school grounds, and it's been an interesting week around here. That doesn't happen often. When it does, though, there's kind of an electricity in the newsroom, and that reminds me of one of the reasons I got into this business in the first place. Tomorrow, back the to drudgery, though: it's wedding page day.
I think I might still look into finishing my degree (that would be my bachelor's, by the way). I was looking at the local university's online course catalog the other day, and it wouldn't take too much, I don't think, but if I took just one course a semester, it might take a year or so. If I went for my journalism degree, I figure it'd be around 11 hours. There's another required course for the journalism degree they added (on electronic media), and I'd have to finish the Spanish III course. I might be able to do those online. There's also a couple of lab classes I'm not sure I ever took. On the other hand, I might be able to get a bachelor of general studies with even less work. I think there, I might have a course in the sciences to meet the requirements. I've probably got enough hours in communication to meet the area of concentration requirement, but I'm not sure about the electives requirement. I'm having lunch next week with a prof from my college days, so I'll probably ask her what she thinks.
I finally got around to finishing cleaning my room. Now I just have some filing and organizing to do. Got my taxes started and that refund is looking good! I should use it to pay bills, but I might splurge and get me a nice new chair for the living room or my bedroom, or use it to paint the rest of the rooms in the house and do some decorating and landscaping.
Next week, I have three days in a row of medical appointments: Monday is a MUGA scan to make sure the Herceptin isn't damaging my heart; Tuesday is my appointment to set up for radiation and also Herceptin day; and Wednesday is my checkup with the urologist on my kidney stone. I guess at least I'll have some time away from work. That's always one way to look at it.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Hello again
Things didn't necessarily improve after my last post. I guess Neupogen is trying to get its last shots in on me or something. My stomach was upset for days, I couldn't eat much and I got a bit depressed. I'm still not really out of it totally. I'm still feeling a bit down, and my stomach was still a bit upset today, plus I've got some heartburn. I'm just so tired of being sick and tired all the time. I just want to feel good again, and it's not happening fast enough.
Then on top of it all, I go to a job that I don't feel all that good about, either. Somehow, I just feel like I don't fit in there anymore. Even when I was back in the newsroom, it didn't feel like I was part of things. I go in, do the mundane tasks, and go home, and only a few people -- not anyone who decides how much or what work I do -- really tries to include me in anything. I've tried getting myself back into things, with little response. Maybe I just don't care enough about this place anymore to try that hard.
Maybe this next year would be a good time to take some classes, learn some new skills and then when I'm all done with my treatment (and don't have to worry so much about the insurance issues) move on. It's too late to enroll in this semester, so maybe I should look into that before summer.
Then on top of it all, I go to a job that I don't feel all that good about, either. Somehow, I just feel like I don't fit in there anymore. Even when I was back in the newsroom, it didn't feel like I was part of things. I go in, do the mundane tasks, and go home, and only a few people -- not anyone who decides how much or what work I do -- really tries to include me in anything. I've tried getting myself back into things, with little response. Maybe I just don't care enough about this place anymore to try that hard.
Maybe this next year would be a good time to take some classes, learn some new skills and then when I'm all done with my treatment (and don't have to worry so much about the insurance issues) move on. It's too late to enroll in this semester, so maybe I should look into that before summer.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Things just got worse
After Monday's post, it certainly did. The bone pain got so bad I could not comfortable and could not really sleep, even after taking Loratab, a prescription painkiller I got from after my surgery to put my port in. It relaxed me physically some, especially after I moved out to the couch to sleep, but I hated what did to my head. I was picking up conversations with people I haven't seen or heard from in a decade. I wouldn't have made it through the night if it weren't for Mom, rubbing my back and reminding me to take my antibiotics on time. I was in tears a lot from both the pain and frustration. Thanks, Mom! You need a raise, too.
We visited with my oncologist Tuesday, and told her about the bone pain and about how the Novelbine had been affecting me as far as a stronger fatigue and my emotions up and down, and she said we could end that part of my treatment! And also no more of the Neupogen shots for a few days, until we see what my blood count is. So the good news is, that part of my chemo is over! I couldn't be more relieved, honesty, because this was becoming hard. I don't think I could have taken another week of it. Now I understand where some of the women on the breastcancer.org board were coming from, and some of them seemed to have it a lot worse. It's not just your body that suffers, but your emotions, your sense of worth (when you don't know from day to day if you can go to your job or do anything around the house).
I'll continue with the herceptin for about the next year. The doc said she's confident enough about where I'm at that losing the few weeks of the Novelbine won't be any harm. The herceptin is the drug that will do it, she said. She also said she's had another bc patient who had kidney stones, so the company is looking into any connection. Turns out that patient is the sister-in-law of a co-worker who was diagnosed about the same time I was. And then Monday, I also found out another co-worker's sister-in-law has just been diagnosed. It's almost scary how much there of this going around.
I'll also be starting my radiation treatment earlier. That wasn't supposed to be for another couple months, after the Novelbine, but now I'll meet with the radiation oncologist in two weeks, so I'll probably start soon after. I know there's a lot of prep work they do (including putting little tattoos on you so they can line up the equipment to zap the right spot. I always thought if I got a tattoo, it'd at least be something cool. Oh well.)
I did throw up yesterday, after we got home from the doc's visit. I just attributed it to all the stress and sleeplessness of the night before, but I've felt kinda nauseous off and on since then. It's really annoying, because I really just want to wake up and feel good for once.
We visited with my oncologist Tuesday, and told her about the bone pain and about how the Novelbine had been affecting me as far as a stronger fatigue and my emotions up and down, and she said we could end that part of my treatment! And also no more of the Neupogen shots for a few days, until we see what my blood count is. So the good news is, that part of my chemo is over! I couldn't be more relieved, honesty, because this was becoming hard. I don't think I could have taken another week of it. Now I understand where some of the women on the breastcancer.org board were coming from, and some of them seemed to have it a lot worse. It's not just your body that suffers, but your emotions, your sense of worth (when you don't know from day to day if you can go to your job or do anything around the house).
I'll continue with the herceptin for about the next year. The doc said she's confident enough about where I'm at that losing the few weeks of the Novelbine won't be any harm. The herceptin is the drug that will do it, she said. She also said she's had another bc patient who had kidney stones, so the company is looking into any connection. Turns out that patient is the sister-in-law of a co-worker who was diagnosed about the same time I was. And then Monday, I also found out another co-worker's sister-in-law has just been diagnosed. It's almost scary how much there of this going around.
I'll also be starting my radiation treatment earlier. That wasn't supposed to be for another couple months, after the Novelbine, but now I'll meet with the radiation oncologist in two weeks, so I'll probably start soon after. I know there's a lot of prep work they do (including putting little tattoos on you so they can line up the equipment to zap the right spot. I always thought if I got a tattoo, it'd at least be something cool. Oh well.)
I did throw up yesterday, after we got home from the doc's visit. I just attributed it to all the stress and sleeplessness of the night before, but I've felt kinda nauseous off and on since then. It's really annoying, because I really just want to wake up and feel good for once.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Yucky Monday
Got my blood drawn for lab work this afternoon and the results are not good. My white blood cell count is so low, they won't let me have my treatment tomorrow. I'll still see my doc, and I'm going to ask her about possible having treatment every other week. Even though that will stretch out my treatment, I'd rather have time in between to build my immune system, strength and emotions back up. More Neupogen shots are on tap for today, tomorrow and Wednesday, too. The bone pain is manageable when I'm at home, but when I went to work for a few hours this afternoon, I hard time not moaning and groaning a lot. Which would have been embarrassing, since the managers were having their meeting in the next room. (Reason no. 32 I do not want to be a manger: you spend a lot of time talking about really boring stuff in a LOT of detail. "Should it say 'the' here? Does that arrogant? Is it even grammatically correct?" Yawwwwn!)
Thanks all for the support. I need some cheering up once in a while!
Thanks all for the support. I need some cheering up once in a while!
I know it's been awhile
Truthfully, I haven't been feeling as good as my last post may have sounded. Through the last week I've just felt dead tired. Since treatment last Tuesday, the fatigue has hit hard, not to mention the digestive problems. I haven't felt much like eating more than liquids anyway. I went to work only half days Wednesday and Thursday, managed to get through a full day Friday and then had to work the desk (about 11 hours) on Saturday. I was walking like an old, arthritic person, as one buddy at work put it. On top of all that, it was hard keeping my spirits up last week. Nipper and I spent a lot of snuggle time together.
My white blood cell counts are way down again, so not only am I in my little "office" again, but I'm on antibiotics and had Neupogen shots Friday, Saturday and Sunday to bring the count up again.
Sunday was spent all day in bed still dead tired. Some scrambled eggs from Mom in the evening perked me up a bit, but I ended up staying home from work this morning. I got up and went through my usual routine, but was pretty exhausted after my shower. So I called in sick for the morning, and glad I did. About the time I would have got to work, the bone pain from the Neupogen shots kicked in. Imagine the worst ache you've ever had (ladies, that's probably not too difficult, guys I don't know what your equivalent would be ), and imagine it coming from deep inside every big bone in your body -- not just hips, but the lower back, thighs, shoulders, arm, sometimes even the ribs. This is from deep inside the marrow, too. Fortunately, painkiller and the heating pad seem to help.
I have to go in for lab work today to see if I'm up for chemo tomorrow. I might put in an hour or two at work (God forbid a man should have to do the Food Page). It's an awful blustery day today, too. At least we're not getting the snow they were predicting earlier. But I wish I'd been feeling better yesterday when it was about 70 and sunny and my poor dog should have been out enjoying it instead of comforting me. He needs a raise.
My white blood cell counts are way down again, so not only am I in my little "office" again, but I'm on antibiotics and had Neupogen shots Friday, Saturday and Sunday to bring the count up again.
Sunday was spent all day in bed still dead tired. Some scrambled eggs from Mom in the evening perked me up a bit, but I ended up staying home from work this morning. I got up and went through my usual routine, but was pretty exhausted after my shower. So I called in sick for the morning, and glad I did. About the time I would have got to work, the bone pain from the Neupogen shots kicked in. Imagine the worst ache you've ever had (ladies, that's probably not too difficult, guys I don't know what your equivalent would be ), and imagine it coming from deep inside every big bone in your body -- not just hips, but the lower back, thighs, shoulders, arm, sometimes even the ribs. This is from deep inside the marrow, too. Fortunately, painkiller and the heating pad seem to help.
I have to go in for lab work today to see if I'm up for chemo tomorrow. I might put in an hour or two at work (God forbid a man should have to do the Food Page). It's an awful blustery day today, too. At least we're not getting the snow they were predicting earlier. But I wish I'd been feeling better yesterday when it was about 70 and sunny and my poor dog should have been out enjoying it instead of comforting me. He needs a raise.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
A better day
I'm feeling much better today, although I woke up this morning with a headache, so I didn't get a lot done earlier today. All week I felt pretty crappy -- tired, bloated, etc. -- and just wound up each day on the couch with the heating pad and then to bed with the heating pad. I suffered through work with an upset stomach all day. I hope this isn't going to be the way I react to the new chemo regimen, 'cause it would really suck to feel that awful for the next two months. If it happens again next week, I guess I'll need to talk with my doc about it.
I'm glad I'm feeling better today because we have more of the unseasonably warm weather that's been pervading this winter. It's about 60 right now, and as soon as the laundry in the dryer (with some clean sweatpants) is done, I'm taking Nipper for a walk. We both need to get out in the sunshine and fresh air.
This morning I did get a couple loads of laundry done. I need to finish the cleanup/organizing I started on my bedroom last week and start taking the decorations off the tree. Since I didn't feel great, I did at least watch "Kill Bill Vol. 1," which I've had sitting around for a week or so. It's the first Tarantino film I've seen. Most of the first half was pretty dull, I thought, and a couple of times I almost turned it off. It didn't really get my interest until she went to Tokyo to kill the first of the assassins. And the violence is pretty over the top, what with the fountains of blood and cheesey '70s music, so it's not like it's gory violence -- more comic, really. Still, it's probably not something my mom would want to watch.
Well, laundry's done. Time for a nice walk.
I'm glad I'm feeling better today because we have more of the unseasonably warm weather that's been pervading this winter. It's about 60 right now, and as soon as the laundry in the dryer (with some clean sweatpants) is done, I'm taking Nipper for a walk. We both need to get out in the sunshine and fresh air.
This morning I did get a couple loads of laundry done. I need to finish the cleanup/organizing I started on my bedroom last week and start taking the decorations off the tree. Since I didn't feel great, I did at least watch "Kill Bill Vol. 1," which I've had sitting around for a week or so. It's the first Tarantino film I've seen. Most of the first half was pretty dull, I thought, and a couple of times I almost turned it off. It didn't really get my interest until she went to Tokyo to kill the first of the assassins. And the violence is pretty over the top, what with the fountains of blood and cheesey '70s music, so it's not like it's gory violence -- more comic, really. Still, it's probably not something my mom would want to watch.
Well, laundry's done. Time for a nice walk.
Christmas pics
Some Christmas-time pics from us:
Nipper gets into the Christmas spirit:
Nipper and me:
Nipper shows off one of his gifts:
Me with the curio cabinet my mom, dad and brother gave me. That's just part of my Peanuts collection in there:
Nipper gets into the Christmas spirit:
Nipper and me:
Nipper shows off one of his gifts:
Me with the curio cabinet my mom, dad and brother gave me. That's just part of my Peanuts collection in there:
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Blahg entry
I haven't posted for a few days because I haven't been feeling that great. I've been a little ... blocked up, let's say, and bloated and it's not a great feeling, especially when combined with fatigue. I hope this is just a temporary thing and doesn't happen every week, since I'm getting the Navelbine every week for the next seven weeks along with the Herceptin. I don't want to get to feeling better only to have this happen all over again after treatment Tuesday. It would really suck to feel like this for the next two months.
Dinner's been really simple the last couple days -- last night was just mashed potatoes. Tonight, I'm thinking a milkshake. Then an evening on the couch with the hot pad. Exciting life, eh?
Dinner's been really simple the last couple days -- last night was just mashed potatoes. Tonight, I'm thinking a milkshake. Then an evening on the couch with the hot pad. Exciting life, eh?
Monday, January 02, 2006
Dinnertime
Tonight I made dinner for myself. I know that sounds unremarkable, but I don't really cook much. Mom (if you're new here, SHE moved in with ME) does most of the cooking. Cooking every day does get to be a drag, but there is a good feeling from making your own meals. Mom didn't feel good tonight, so she just had Cream of Wheat.
I like to cook, but I'm not real fancy about it. I mean, it's not like I have all day to make a big meal. There's always something out of a box or a can or frozen, but I like to stay away from the over-processed stuff when I can. Tonight was pretty simple. A baked chicken breast, some mashed potatoes, corn muffins -- one my favorite quick meals. I also made enough I that I can take some for lunch later in the week. I need to do more of that kind of thing (see the previous post). Prepackaged, store-bought meals are convenient and all, but especially having had cancer, I should be cutting my intake of highly processed foods.
I actually have one of those FoodSaver vacuum sealers. I don't use it as much as I did at first, but maybe I'll get back into using it. I know the infomercials are goofy, but it really works as well as they say it does. Of course, I bought one BEFORE they added the feature that lets you vacuum seal breads and other soft foods. Oh well. If I got a new one, they'd just come up with some new features.
I like to cook, but I'm not real fancy about it. I mean, it's not like I have all day to make a big meal. There's always something out of a box or a can or frozen, but I like to stay away from the over-processed stuff when I can. Tonight was pretty simple. A baked chicken breast, some mashed potatoes, corn muffins -- one my favorite quick meals. I also made enough I that I can take some for lunch later in the week. I need to do more of that kind of thing (see the previous post). Prepackaged, store-bought meals are convenient and all, but especially having had cancer, I should be cutting my intake of highly processed foods.
I actually have one of those FoodSaver vacuum sealers. I don't use it as much as I did at first, but maybe I'll get back into using it. I know the infomercials are goofy, but it really works as well as they say it does. Of course, I bought one BEFORE they added the feature that lets you vacuum seal breads and other soft foods. Oh well. If I got a new one, they'd just come up with some new features.
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