Things just got worse

After Monday's post, it certainly did. The bone pain got so bad I could not comfortable and could not really sleep, even after taking Loratab, a prescription painkiller I got from after my surgery to put my port in. It relaxed me physically some, especially after I moved out to the couch to sleep, but I hated what did to my head. I was picking up conversations with people I haven't seen or heard from in a decade. I wouldn't have made it through the night if it weren't for Mom, rubbing my back and reminding me to take my antibiotics on time. I was in tears a lot from both the pain and frustration. Thanks, Mom! You need a raise, too.

We visited with my oncologist Tuesday, and told her about the bone pain and about how the Novelbine had been affecting me as far as a stronger fatigue and my emotions up and down, and she said we could end that part of my treatment! And also no more of the Neupogen shots for a few days, until we see what my blood count is. So the good news is, that part of my chemo is over! I couldn't be more relieved, honesty, because this was becoming hard. I don't think I could have taken another week of it. Now I understand where some of the women on the breastcancer.org board were coming from, and some of them seemed to have it a lot worse. It's not just your body that suffers, but your emotions, your sense of worth (when you don't know from day to day if you can go to your job or do anything around the house).

I'll continue with the herceptin for about the next year. The doc said she's confident enough about where I'm at that losing the few weeks of the Novelbine won't be any harm. The herceptin is the drug that will do it, she said. She also said she's had another bc patient who had kidney stones, so the company is looking into any connection. Turns out that patient is the sister-in-law of a co-worker who was diagnosed about the same time I was. And then Monday, I also found out another co-worker's sister-in-law has just been diagnosed. It's almost scary how much there of this going around.

I'll also be starting my radiation treatment earlier. That wasn't supposed to be for another couple months, after the Novelbine, but now I'll meet with the radiation oncologist in two weeks, so I'll probably start soon after. I know there's a lot of prep work they do (including putting little tattoos on you so they can line up the equipment to zap the right spot. I always thought if I got a tattoo, it'd at least be something cool. Oh well.)

I did throw up yesterday, after we got home from the doc's visit. I just attributed it to all the stress and sleeplessness of the night before, but I've felt kinda nauseous off and on since then. It's really annoying, because I really just want to wake up and feel good for once.