It could be worse

That's what I keep telling myself.

The news isn't as good as I had hoped for, but it certainly could have been a lot worse.

The bad news: I do have an aggressive form of cancer, invasive ductal cancer. The CT scan Thursday did show a couple of areas in my upper back that the radiologist suggested be checked more thoroughly, so I'll have an MRI on Wednesday. Mr doctor seems confident that it hasn't spread, though.

The good news is that it is HER-2 positive, and can be treated with Herceptin, which has been shown to be very effective in reducing or even eliminating breast cancer.

At this point, the treatment looks like it will be chemo for three to six months, and the Herceptin for a full year. If there's anything left of the tumor after the chemo, I'll have a lumpectomy. I'll know more after I meet with the oncologist on Aug. 3. Tuesday, I'll have surgery to implant a Port-A-Cath in my chest, which will allow the drugs to be put in my system.

Both of my parents were there with me. Dad seems to be taking this fairly well, which I was worried about. Mom had a hard time today, though. I'm not sure she's really given herself time to take this all in -- her daughter having to deal with something like cancer before she does. She actually said today that she felt like it was her fault. I know it must be hard for a parent to deal with this. I can only imagine, and try to stay strong so that she does too.

But the doctor did say there's no way to know when this cancer even started. Even if I had been making regular trips to the doctor the last 10 years, it might not have been detected before I felt it -- I'm only 36 and probably wouldn't have been getting mammograms every year, if at all yet.

That's what scares me the most. What if I hadn't accidentally brushed my hand under my breast while getting dressed that day? I have never done regular self-exams and I hadn't seen a doctor since I was a kid. I guess I still had a bit of that invincibility mentality we seem to have as teenagers. But if I hadn't felt it that one day, where would I be in a year? Or six months?

Do yourself a favor: no matter how old you are, do a regular monthly self exam and see your doctor.