How to get a bachelor's degree in one week

First, you go to college right out of high school. Five years later, and after dabbling in other areas besides your major, you get burned out and go home and work in a grocery store frying donuts then at the checkout and video rental until you get sick of that and find a job at the mom-and-pop radio station who's wiling to give a chance to someone with no experience but lots of enthusiasm and you have fun at what you call your "slacker job" for a few years until you get bored with that and up and quit one day and move back to the college town with all intentions of finishing your degree but that darn foreign language requirement keeps tripping you up because you just can't seem to conjugate anything more complex than "me gusta ..." and then a full-time job opens up in your field right there in town and so you get it and they don't seem too concerned that you don't actually have a degree so you just kind of drift through the next eight years until you realize that in that business, the only way things are going to change is because the bosses get stupider and stupider and care only about the bottom line, not what the mission of the business should be, so one day you check with the college and find out if you change your major to general studies you need only two credit hours -- and no foreign language -- to finish and there just happens to be two one-hour geology field trip classes in the summer that will fit the bill and 21 years after you started, you'll have a bachelor's degree with two days' worth of effort on a Sunday and the following Saturday.