On turning 40

Today I turned 40. Five years ago, I would have said I dreaded that thought. But then, three and a half years ago, something happened. I found a lump in my left breast. It was cancer.

There are cancer survivors who say getting cancer was a blessing. Not to belittle anyone's beliefs, but I think they're crazy. It was hell. And not just for me. My family, my friends, my co-workers all also carried a part of what I went through.

But I got through it. Hell, I kicked its ass.

This year, I've come to realize just how lucky I really was. Lucky I found it when I did, because I never did regular self-exams and didn't think I'd need to go for a mammogram for a few more years. Lucky I'm in a place with a great cancer center and doctors. And lucky I have so many great people around me. It is in, in part, because of them I am here, celebrating 40 years.

So to my family and friends, thank you. Even if you couldn't be here while I was going through my treatment, I felt your support and good thoughts and prayers. And your e-mails and cards got me through some tough days. And to my co-workers who stepped up when I couldn't quite keep up the normal work load or just gave me an ear or even a shoulder to cry on.

And of course, to Nipper, my buddy, who didn't understand what was going on, but was always ready to curl up with me and comfort me.

This year, I have felt better than I have in years -- even before the cancer. The fatigue is gone, the chemo brain is gone. And it's not just a physical difference. It just feels like there are a whole lot of possibilities out there within my reach and all I need to do is grab them. And I will.

Cancer was not a blessing. But it did open my eyes to a lot of things over the last few years. One of those is that there are a lot of great people in my life, and that no matter what I might face in the years ahead, they'll be there to support me. I hope I can be as much to them as they have been to me.

Thanks, all. Here's to the next 40!