Too young

So I have a lump in my breast. And now I'm supposed to go get a biopsy. I'm 36 years old. I shouldn't have to hear the word "biopsy." I think everything will be OK, but a part of my mind keeps drifting to how will I react and what I'll need to do should I hear the "C" word. It's kind of strange to find my thoughts as I'm driving or sitting at my computer at work and thinking about getting chemo or making sure my affairs are in order, as they say.

But I'm trying not to think about that, keep a positive state of mind. I'm young. There's no history of breast cancer in my family. I'm fairly healthy. So it's not likely something to worry about, right?

Anyway, in other parts of my life, the job is boring as hell. I'm a page designer for a small Midwestern newspaper, and it's pretty dull. Not so much because not much happens around here, but because I do the same boring pages every week. I mean, really, can't one of the men do the damn wedding page once a fucking while? Just 'cause I'm the girl paginator, I have to do the lifestyle crap? And yes, I said something about this to my boss, and he hasn't done a damn thing about it. But he doesn't done a lot things he said he was going to do, so I shouldn't be too suprised.