Hot water again

Well, that was fast. When Dad's hot water heater went kaput, it took a few days to get a new one in. The plumbers came out today and had it in by this afternoon. Maybe it's just a matter of what they had in inventory. Anyway, we've got hot water again. I haven't even asked what it cost. I want to pay for it myself -- I mean, it's my house, I'm an adult -- but right now it's just hard. I'm still paying off the hospital and my vacation upped my credit card balance a bit, so I hadn't been planning on spending any extra money except for Christmas shopping. So thanks, Mom and Dad, for helping out. I'll repay you somehow, someday.

At least there should be something good this weekend. A friend who moved away a couple years ago will be in town and we're getting together this weekend. It'll be good to see her again and get caught up. Other than that, I hope for a quiet weekend!

Good freakin' morning to you too

I had a great vacation, so now the rain must fall, right? It doesn't need to be so damn literal, though.

We woke up this morning to discover the water heater leaking all over (and through) the utility room floor.

I'm off to my dad's for a shower now.

A flying turtle!

mass19.jpg, originally uploaded by junogle.

One of my pics from mass ascension. This flickr stuff is cool!

See the entry below for links to more pics.

More pix

More vacation photos!
Here are shots from the mass ascension, and here are shots from the balloon glow that evening.

First photos

I forgot I did get one roll of film developed while on my trip. These are photos from Saturday, when we visited the Trinity Site and the Very Large Array.

The first set is from the Trinity Site national historic landmark, which is open to the public only twice a year.

See my Trinity album here

We also visited the Very Large Array that day.

The VLA album is here.

More to come soon.

I'm back!

Got back home between 2 and 2:30 this morning. Then had to get up to get to the Day of Caring brunch at 10 a.m. We got home from that in the noon hour, so I thought I'd take a short nap. I got up just awhile ago!

It was nice and sunny this morning, but now is cloudy. My brother said today was pretty gloomy looking in Albuquerque today, and they had to cancel some of the activities at the balloon fiesta. It sounds like we lucked out with the good weather the day I was there.

And it was a great trip. The train ride was amazing. I'm the type that likes to study the countryside, so this was a perfect way for me to travel. It was fun to be able to sit and watch the geography change as the train moved on, from the plains into the foothills of the Rockies and up into the mountains. I saw several pronghorn antelope as we crossed the plateau in northern New Mexico that look very similar to Kansas. I would definitely travel that way again, but I think it would also be fun to drive and take some time to explore some of the towns we passed through, like Trinidad, Colo., or Raton, or Las Vegas, N.M. The parts of town I could see from the train station had a real Old West kind of look to them, although those areas of the towns probably aren't as lively as they were back then.

I'll have pictures posted Tuesday or Wednesday. I shot a total of seven rolls of film, most of it at the mass ascension at the balloon fiesta. It was just that great! I'll probably have more comments then, or maybe tomorrow. The rest of today is unpacking and taking it easy.

Later.

Greetings from New Mexico!

My brother and I are taking it kind of easy today. He's got those person-not-on-vacation things to do like laundry, so it's a quiet day.

Got in to the train station in Albuquerque Friday afternoon, and we had dinner at my mom's favorite Mexican restaraunt. Definately better than anything we can get in Kansas. Then we kind of killed some time until rush hour traffic was over and headed for his home. We both weren't feeling that great (me a headached, him still some pain from some dentist work the day before) so we took it easy that night.

Saturday we both felt a lot better, so we headed out to the White Sands Missile Base, where the Trinity Site is located. It was kind of humbling to be standing on the spot where the first atomic bomb was exploded, and think of the power it held and the way it's changed the world.

After lunch we went to the open house at the Very Large Array. If you've seen the movie "Contact" with Jodi Foster, that's the place. It was pretty cool to see those huge antennas up close and watch them moving in unison.

Hope I got some good pictures. I've still got a few shots on my first roll left. I'm saving plenty of film for the balloon fiesta, though! We're probably going to wait until Thursday to go to it, since it looks like cloudy weather until then. But we'll probably be in Alburquerque at least one other day, so I'm sure I'll see some balloons floating around before then.

Getting ready

I haven't been up at this hour in a looooong time. For any reason.

Getting ready to leave for my trip to see my brother. I slept OK, but not great. Maybe I can get a couple hours on the train before it gets busy and too noisy. I'm sure I'll sleep good tonight.

I'll sure miss Nipper though. He'll be fine, I'm sure. Probably get lots of extra ear rubs and loving from Mom and Dad while I'm gone.

Well, got to go double-check (again) that I've packed everything I need while Mom's in the shower.

I'll be back in about a week for sure. Maybe I'll get in a post or two in the meantime.

What's the matter with Jericho?

Here.

Had to get away

I am o-fficially on vacation! Whoo-hoo! And not just a sit-around-at-home vacation, either ... this is one with a real trip and everything!

Friday (early Friday), I'll catch the train in Dodge to spend about a week with my brother in New Mexico. I haven't actually been to his place since he graduated college, so this should be neat. Plus, the Balloon Fiesta will be going on in Albuquerque, so we'll be catching some of that, as well as going to the Trinity Site, where the first atomic bombs were tested. They open it to visitors a couple of times a year, so I'm sure there will be crowds, but it would be worth it. Hmmm. I see my radiation oncologist the week after I get back. I wonder if I need to tell him I was there so he can add in the extra radiation I'll absorb.

Aside from that, and seeing the area where he lives and belatedly celebrating his birthday, I'm not sure what all we'll do. Maybe seek out our birthplace. Go look at the ol' neighborhood (that I can barely remember anyway). Who knows?

In the meantime, I have stuff to do to get ready -- make sure I have clean clothes, enough travel-sized toiletries, see what I might need to buy, maybe get a haircut ... at least I have a couple of days.

If I get a chance, I'll post while I'm there so y'all know I'm OK and having a good time. Maybe bro will have some digital pics I could post, too. I'll probably have lots to say afterward, too, so be sure to check back for sure on the 14th or 15th.

Good Saturday

It turned hot again today -- well hot for early fall, and warmer than we have been having recently. But it was a good day for a parade. So I went to be in one. It's homecoming weekend for the local university, and of course there's a parade. My breast cancer support group had a float and a good group of us showed up to ride and walk alongside and throw candy. I figured it'd be just sitting on the float, waving at a few people, etc., but it turned out to be a bit more than that. As we moved along Main Street, people would applaud and cheer for us. Total strangers, most of them. I wasn't the only one getting a bit choked up by that. And then there was Mom. She found a spot right in front at the newspaper's parking lot, so she got a couple pictures. And she said seeing me on that float made her cry. So it was an interesting morning -- more than I bargained for.

The rest of the day (aside from a walk with Nipper and then a nap) has been spent playing with my new toy -- a new iPod Nano! I got a blue 4 GB model. It was the only one left at WallyWorld, and I wanted to make sure I got one before I left next week to see my brother (I live far enough in the boonies "overnight" delivery means at least a day or two). I can't get over just how dang small it really is. I mean, you can look at the specs online and see the commercials and so forth, but until you actually see one and hold it, you just don't get the idea. I spent a bit more than I wanted, but after this last year, I think I deserve it. So I guess this is my kicking cancer/Christmas/birthday present to myself!

Just where the hell is Jericho?

I don't know if I'll actually stick with this show. The concept is certainly intriguing, but there's just too much crap to nitpick on. **SPOILER ALERT**

First, where is Jericho? This map on the CBS Web site shows Jericho being on Interstate 70 where U.S. Highway 83 meets it and U.S. 40 divides from the interstate. Although the roads don't match exactly, in reality that would mean Jericho is standing in for Oakley, Kansas, a town of about 2,000.

However, at the end of tonight's episode, as Mysterious Big City Guy is putting pins in his map (presumably of where other nukes have hit), he starts somewhere southeast of Oakley before putting his pin at Denver. That would actually fit with the idea that townspeople were taken to a salt mine to hide out from the fallout, as there are salt mines at Hutchinson.

Hutch, however, is more than 450 miles from Denver -- much too far away to see a mushroom cloud. Let alone the damn mountains. Plus, Hutch is only about 50 miles from Wichita, which doesn't fit in with the mileage sign shown in the beginning of the first episode. Oakley is about 250 miles from Denver, still too far away to see a mushroom cloud or the damn mountains. Kanorado (on the state line) is about 180 miles from Denver. Still too far to see the damn mountains, at least.

Second, Jake's ex-girlfriend is living up to her blondeness. She's walking along the road for gas when a patrol car from her home county's sheriff's office stops to help and she doesn't realize that the two guys wearing the uniforms are people she's never seen before? Trust me, in a town the size Jericho is supposed to be (I believe the mayor said about 3,000), you would know who all the people in uniform are. I didn't get the impression she had also just arrived back in Jericho. And some guy who needs a shave and has skanky teeth would be a big tip off. Especially when he doesn't know where the nearest gas station is.

The Mysterious Big City Guy: Really, one black family in a small, rural town isn't that unbelievable. Neither is that he would act like he knows everything and the bumpkins no nothing. I've known plenty of big-city types who come out here acting like they've been sent from God to save us from our own hickness, only to turn tail and run when they can't cut it out here. Can't live without theater or opera or jazz clubs or one-hour eyeglasses or sushi or drive-through everything? Fine. Seeya. Just what this guy is still remains to be seen, though.

Oh, and just because cops or fire fighters are out in the middle of nowhere doesn't mean they don't get training and education from Homeland Security. Where do you think a good portion of food in your kitchen and favorite restaraunts comes from? Don't you think that'd make a good target? Pass the smallpox, please.

And just what is Jake's story? This (and some of the other characters) might be the only thing that keeps me watching. He's vague about where he's been, but he seems to have some medical training, and he "knew someone" who knew something about explosives. He did something to disgrace his family, but something they were able to keep secret (not an easy trick in a small town). And something that didn't bother his grandfather enough to disown him. That could be anything from prison to being grand marshal of a gay pride parade. If they reveal these stories slowly, it might make it worth it to put up with the stupid parts.

I'm sure I could go on, but that's enough for now.

Summer flashback

It's officially fall now, but I'll take a moment to look back on a moment of the summer ... now that I have film back.

This is probably my favorite picture from this summer (and one of my top faves of Nipper ever). I think it's from July, on one of our walks up the drying creekbed. He'd been trying to catch the fish in the puddle:


There's more picturues here

Poor Buddy

I didn't mention this before, but a little over a week ago while walking the dog, I saw a cockatoo in the park a few blocks from my home. I tried to get close to it, moving slow and talking soft, but I'm sure it was a bit scared at being away from its home and flew away when I got too close. I watched where it went, and when I got home, called the cops and asked if someone had reported a missing bird. Someone had. So I told the officer where I last saw it, and he said he'd contact the owners.

A couple days later, walking Nipper through the same park, I saw a woman, probably in her 50s, walking around, looking up in the trees. It was the bird's owner. I told her I'd reported it, and we talked for a bit. The bird's name was Buddy, he really liked people and dogs even, and she said since he'd seen me once, he might come to me if he saw me again. I said I'd keep an eye out for him when we were walking.

And I did. When we'd walk through or near that park, I'd look up in the trees and listen, but never really did see or hear any kind of bird that wouldn't normally be there. I hoped maybe she'd found him that day I saw her.

She didn't. This morning, while walking Nipper through the park again, I came across what was left of Buddy. Something had gotten him, but wether it was a critter first or maybe the cold weather I couldn't tell. The remains didn't look real fresh, although I don't recall seeing anything when we walked through that same spot a couple days ago. I feel bad for Buddy, and his owner, and kind of wish I'd looked harder, but I also wonder why she didn't keep his wings clipped? When we talked, she had mentioned that last year one of the local cops had helped her get him from a tree in the same park, so this wasn't the first time he'd escaped. Maybe some would say not letting a bird fly would be cruel, like having a cats claws removed, but on the other hand, I don't let my dog off leash when we're walking near traffic. If you have a pet, it's your responsibility to keep it safe. Even if that means doing something "unnatural."

The TV season so far

OK, so the new TV season is under way. Here's some thoughts:
Sunday:
Amazing Race: Off to a great start, although what could have been two of the more interesting teams got eliminated right off. And a new twist -- one team was eliminated before the first pit stop! Obviously, they won't be doing that every week, or else the season would last only a few weeks. But Phil said other surprises are in store.

Monday
The Class: I think I'll skip this one. Maybe if you work in Hollywood, and your new TV show is being touted as "the next (insert name of past hit show here)," you shouldn't quit your day job.
How I Met Your Mother: So far, so good.
Didn't watch much of Two and a Half Men, but saw The New Adventures of Old Christine. I do like that one, so if Heroes turns out to be good, I might tape this one. I've always lliked Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, and the main characters aren't just stereotypes.
I already saw the pilot for Studio 60, but I didn't pay much attention to CSI: Miami.

Tuesday
NCIS: I suppose eventually they're going to make Mark Harmon shave and cut his hair. Darn it. Anyway, it's interesting to see the team acting in a new way under DiNozzo's leadership. And how's he going to act when Jethro comes back? (you know he will).

Wednesday:
Jericho: You know I had to say something. And ... it wasn't at awful as I thought it might be. The landscape, other than the one shot of the mountains, didn't look too bad (typical TV Kansas landscape. It's not perfectly flat out here, but there's more bluffs in western Kansas than hills.) There wasn't too much else that made me roll my eyes, and the story was kind of interesting. I'll tune back in next week.
CSI: New York: Bungee sex?!?

More later in the week.

Variety o' stuff

Today was a good day. It started out kind of bad, what with us being short-handed at work. Mondays are always awful because whichever page designer worked Saturday gets Monday off, leaving two people to put together the news section. Today I basically laid out all but four pages of a 12-page news section. That sucked. But then, the other girls in the newsroom took me to lunch to celebrate the news about ending my treatment. They gave me a nice little gift, too. It's kind of a little token, about the size of a quarter, that has "courage" engraved on it. The inside of the box lid says "feel the fear and do it anyway." And that really sums up what I've gone through in the last year. Yes, it was scary facing this disease, but I had to do it anyway. Because the alternative was unthinkable. And I feel like now I can that apply motto to anything. So thanks, guys! You even made my mom get teary-eyed when I showed it to her.

In more mundane news, my iBook needs a new battery. It's down to about two hours of power now, after two years of use. It probably didn't help that when I got this computer, it was my first new one in about 10 years and I was so excited about getting it, I didn't really read the manual. Calibrate the battery? Huh? Oh well, too late. So I was looking a bit ago on Apple's Web site to see how much it would cost, and got to thinking about how next month I'm going to go see my brother, and I'll be taking the train, and that's a long ride, and it'd be a real pain to have to pack my CD player and enough CDs to keep me occupied for that amount of time, and gee, wouldn't it be nice to have an iPod? And of course, Apple just introduced its revamped Nano (now in color!), so it's real tempting. Hey, I've got plastic ... I've got money! I'll think on this for a day or so, though.

More planting

Yestderday was pretty much a bust. The wind blew hard all day, which kicked up something that I must be allergic to, because after taking Nipper for a walk, I had a headache the rest of the day. I didn't feel good until late Saturday night, when I kind of played around with the iTunes 7. I love the new cover browser feature that lets you flip through the album art like an old juke box. So I spent a couple hours late Saturday night scanning in CD covers that iTunes couldn't find and download.

Today was making up for lost time. I got (almost) all my laundry done and finished planting my irises and flower buds on the hill out back. So over two weekends, I've planted 18 irises (most of which I dug up and divided myself), 16 daffodil bulbs, 10 daylilies, 2 mums and an aster. Might not sound like much, but all this was done on a steep slope with poor footing. Not bad, I'd say. I took some pictures, along with other parts of the yard. Since I use old-fashioned film, you'll just have to wait. Besides, it'll look more interesting next spring. I hope.

I also got my bird-feeding station pretty well finished up. I got the tray feeder set on the top of the pole and the dowel set in to hold the finch feeder. I might have to add some extra support for the tray feeder, in case some raccoon sits its fat butt up there for a late-night munchfest.

The Amazing Race starts tonight! And holy cow, they eliminated one team before even reaching the first pit stop! Can't wait to see what other surprises they have in store this time around.

Stick me with a fork ...

I am done!

I went to see the doctor today as a follow-up to last week's MUGA scan, and learned my ejection fraction had gone down again, now at 48 percent. It has to be at least 50 percent to continue on the Herceptin, so the doctor said today she was just going to go ahead and end it. I was supposed to go through December for a full year.

So that means that I am done with my cancer treatment! The problem with my heart should correct itself and won't be any serious concern. I'll probably have another MUGA sometime next year just to make sure, the doc said. And I'll have the port-a-cath in for maybe a year just in case (which seems like the norm, from what I've heard and read), so I'll need to have it flushed (or cleansed) about once a month. Besides that, I'll have checkups with the oncologist every three months for a couple years, then every six months and then that should be it.

It's a bit of a weird feeling. I wasn't prepared for it to end today. I thought I'd go back on the Herceptin and was all set for a treatment when I went in today. Now I've got a new "normal" to get used to all over again... being normal.

A busy day

At least I made it a busy afternoon. I'm not worth much on weekend mornings. But this afternoon I did some more planting on the slope out behind the garage. I planted I think six more irises (three Mom bought and three of the ones I dug up last weekend) along with four daylily bulbs and eight daffodil bulbs. I made sure to mark them so next spring I can watch for them. I also planted another daylily under the pecan tree and planted the butterfly weed in the corner of that garden where it will get some sun. I had intended to plant the butterfly weed with the wildflowers out by the driveway, but it's done so well in partial shade I think I'll keep it there (which is strange because it's a prairie wildflower. You'd think it would do best in full sun). I needed to get it in the ground before it started getting any cooler, otherwise I'd lose it, and this is the first one in three or four years of trying that has made it through the summer.

As I was planting under the pecan tree, I heard a noise and saw it was a squirrel. It was watching me pretty closely. It ran off when I tried to see how close I could get, but about 10 minutes later, as I was taking a break watching the water in the creek from near where I used to have the squirrel feeder, it came back. It sat on a cut-off branch about 3 feet above my head and gave me the eye. I know exactly what it was trying to say to me, too: "When are you going to put out the sunflower seeds, lady?!?" I told it to wait another week or two.

I did get a start on my bird/critter feeder project. A couple of years ago, I took the trunk of a small, dead tree that had fallen and set it in cement just outside the fence. I had always planned to make a birdfeeding station out of it. That first summer, all I got around to was putting a squirrel snacker on it, and last summer I had bigger things on my mind. So this year, I'm going to finish it off. Last week I drilled a 1-inch hole in one side, where I'll insert a dowel cut to about 1 foot. I'll hang the finch feeder from this. Today, I trimmed about a foot off the top of the pole and I'll put a tray feeder resting on top. I need to get some longer screws, though, so that might be for next weekend. I also got a new birdfeeder for the small birds that I'll hang from one of the pecan tree branches. It's got a cage around it that's just big enough for finches, sparrows, chickadees, etc. to get through, so they won't have to fight with the squirrels and bigger birds for food.

I'm pretty tired now, even after a hot shower, and I'm starting to get hungry. So that's all for now.

It's Mount Sunflower. Get it?

It gets even dumber and dumber ...

I am getting less and less interested in watching the CBS show "Jerico." Now they're appearantly planning a "Jericho" promotion in Lawrence. Lawrence? What the hell? Because Lawrence is a small town, just like Jericho? Hello, Lawrence has about 80,000 people! Hardly a representation of small-town anywhere. Not to mention it's in eastern Kansas, so definatley NO MOUNTAINS in sight.

If they wanted to promote the feel of the show, why not choose a town that could be Jericho? There's plenty of small towns in western Kansas that would welcome the publicity and fit the bill (even if you can't see mountains). The town of Speed (population between 30 and 40, depending on who you talk to and if you count dogs and cats) recently hosted an event with Mattel's Hot Wheels that brought around 10,000 people to town.

So there.

Flashback

One year ago today:

I can't begin to describe how great it was to get back to work today

It was two weeks after my first chemo, after they took my first CBC (blood test) at the cancer center and were shocked at how low my white blood cell count was (near zero). I had to stay home from work for a week, and that was probably the lowest time I had through this whole journey. I felt fine, but here was the first indication that something was seriously wrong with me, that something as simple as a cold could endanger my life! Of course, I spent the next four months or so in the "isolation chamber" at work, which got kind of depressing at times. But that's another flashback.

Also on this day last year:

I stepped out of the shower only to find I had a bit of a hairy chest. Only it was hair that had formerly been on my head. And all morning, I was brushing hairs off my shoulders.

Fortunately, my hair has now grown back nicely. Maybe a bit grayer. I liked having curly hair (it was more wavy than curly), but the last week or so it seems to be going back to its original straightness. I'm just glad I have it.

Maybe a dye job is in order.

No more rain

As in we didn't get any more rain after Friday, other than maybe a few sprinkles. The creek is pretty well dried up again, just a puddle left. At least the weeds are green!

Not much else going on, just a quiet weekend. With gas prices the way the way they are, I kind of prefer to not do any extra driving. So whatever I need to get done in town, I'll try to do during the week when I'm there for work anyway. If we need groceries during the weekend, we can shop at the store here. Makes me wonder how many other people are doing the same thing, and if this little town's businesses are seeing a boost.

Besides, right now, it's back to school time, and who want to contend with all the newbie college students crowding Wal-Mart all the time?

A river runs through it

Well, I don't know that it's actually running, but there is water in the creek that runs by my house! It dried up this summer, until there's been just a few puddles or pools here and there. But that changed last night, after we got 2 inches of rain in about an hour. Total for the night was 2.75. That's more rain than we've gotten in the last three or four months!

But the bad news with the rain was I found out the roof still leaks in the kitchen. In fact, it started dripping in a new place last night. Not for very long, thankfully, but it makes me worry that there's more damage up there that you can't see, like mold, rotting wood, etc. I hate to think how much it will cost to fix that.

More rain expected later today (ETA: just after I posted, a shower started) and other places upstream got heavy rain, too, so maybe the creek actually will run. I'll have to take Nipper walking and check out the rest of town.

Setback

Monday I had my regular MUGA scan, and got the results today. It wasn't great.

My ejection fraction was at 49 percent. It has to be at least 50 percent for me to continue to receive the Herceptin. There was also a slight enlargement of one of the heart's chambers.

But, heart damage is an expected side effect of Herceptin; that's why they do the MUGA scan every eight weeks. The plan is to just stop my Herceptin treatment for about a month. I'll have another MUGA scan on Sept. 5, and then follow up with my doctor the next week. I'm scheduled to continue the Hercpetin through December, but this could extend my treatment a bit longer.

The good news is that in most cases, heart damage caused by Herceptin is reversible. That's why my doctor is taking me off it for a few weeks. Keeping up with the exercise should help, too.

But on the bad news front, there's an increased risk of coronary heart disease for women who receive radiation for breast cancer on the left side (see more about halfway through this article). Which, of course, is the side I had it on. Even more reason to get off my butt and keep exercising, I guess.

I'll watch, but ...

Check out CBS' info page about one if its new shows, "Jericho." Look closely at the picture on the left side of the page. What's wrong with it?

Don't get it? Read the first part of the show's description:

JERICHO is a drama about what happens when a nuclear mushroom cloud suddenly appears on the horizon, plunging the residents of a small, peaceful Kansas town into chaos, leaving them completely isolated and wondering if they're the only Americans left alive.

Now, look at that picture again. Get it? No? Here's a small clue:

YOU CANNOT SEE THE DAMN ROCKY MOUNTAINS FROM KANSAS!

Was that subtle enough for you?

The producers, in a video interview on the CBS Web site, say they were going for a sense of reality for this show. Well, then they should have done some homework. Or come to Kansas, stood on the freakin' border and looked with their own damn eyes.

Yes, I am a bit peeved about this ... does it show?

Still, the premise of the show is interesting. So I'll watch, and I'll grit my teeth whenever there's mountains on the horizon. Or whatever uneducated bunk or hick cliche shows up.

As long as there's not a girl named Dorothy with a dog named Toto, I'll give it a chance.

Fall TV

So the days are getting shorter, the kids will be back in school next week and that turns one's thoughts to ... the new fall TV season!

I watched the pilot of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip," the new show from "The West Wing" creator Aaron Sorkin (courtesy of Netflix), and I liked it. If it keeps up that quality, I'll probably stick with it. I haven't watched the pilot for "Kidnapped," which is on the same disk, yet. The preview for "Heroes" looked interesting, too. Not a football fan, so "Friday Night Lights" is out for me.

So looking at the networks' fall lineup, here's what will probably be my viewing schedule, at least in the beginning:
Monday
7 p.m. The Amazing Race, CBS. Can't do without my Race fix!
The rest of the night kind of sucks.

Monday
7 p.m. The Class, CBS. I'll give this one a shot.
7:30 p.m. How I Met Your Mother, CBS. Better than most sitcoms that have come along in the last few years. But this hour might be my Web-surfing-while-watching hour.
8 p.m. Heroes, NBC. The preview looked interesting. If it tanks, I stick with CBS with Two and Half Men and The New Adventures of Old Christine. I didn't watch these often last year, but what I saw was good.
9 p.m. Watch Studio 60, tape CSI: Miami.

Tuesday
7 p.m. NCIS. Mark Harmon. Need I say more?
The rest of the night looks dull. Maybe House, on Fox. Maybe a movie night after NCIS. Unless CBS gets smart and puts Amazing Race back here.

Wednesday
7 p.m. Jericho, CBS. Depsite the fact the producers are too dumb to know geography, I'll check this one out.
8 p.m. Lost, ABC. Seven episodes will air in the fall, then the series will resume with 15 new episodes in the spring. That episode No. 7 better be DAMN good.
9 p.m. Probably CSI:NY, CBS, unless I get hooked on Kidnapped on NBC. Then tape CSI and watch later.

Thursday
7 p.m. Survivor, CBS. Hopefully it hasn't jumped the shark. Or maybe it has, but I'm just still hooked.
8 p.m. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, CBS. I'm starting to get tired of CSI shows on about every other chanel all day, but at least they don't change the cast around like Law & Order.
9 p.m. Maybe Six Degrees on ABC or Shark on CBS. Don't know yet.

Friday
Except for Numbers on CBS at 9 p.m., looks like Friday will suck this year again.

Saturday
College football and reruns? Who's in charge of programming this crap? Not everyone goes out, you know.

Has it been that long?

A couple days ago, I got a call from an old-high school friend. She was collecting addresses and contact information of all our class members to help plan our 20th class reunion next year. "TWENTIETH?!? No, way!" was my first reaction. But, yes, it will be.

She e-mailed me a list of all our classmates, with addresses and phone numbers. About half have e-mail. I remember at our 10th reunion, whenever I talked to any of my friends and eagerly asked "do you have e-mail," hoping to build up my address book, all I'd get is a blank stare, like they were thinking "oh, that's for geeks ... like you." Now, I bet they can't live without it.

Just under half are still living in town, which is kind of surprising. Another 10 live within a couple hours' drive. There's a handful around Kansas City. Only about half a dozen live outside the region, and there's one overseas.

Six of us are dead.

One is now the principal of the high school we graduated from. Two are married to each other.

I haven't even been back to my hometown for about five or six years. Once in awhile, I see someone here when they come up for shopping or something. Or I see their parents. And their lives all seem as ordinary as mine. I'm sure we all had big dreams of where life would go. And then reality happened. We grew up, got jobs, started families, whatever, and now we shake our heads at the youngsters around us who think they will achieve Great Things and listen to that godawful music too loud ...

But we're not old or anything. I'm just sayin'.

New view

Saturday, Nipper and I walked somewhere we've never walked before in about four years of living here -- to the park, about four blocks from home. How we got there is the new part. We walked the dry creekbed.

The creek is almost completely dry all the way through town, until it gets to the small dam on the east side. Nipper and I have been walking in the evening from the wooden bridge near my house to the bridge that's just south of us -- about a mile or so as you follow the roads. But then we've always turned and gone back home after reaching the bridge. Yesterday morning, I thought, what the heck, let's walk as much as we can. It took us close to a couple hours, mostly because the creek is awful twisty, and at one point, loops around almost back into itself. It was also pretty sandy, so the walking was a bit more difficult.

I wish I had taken my camera with me, because there were some interesting things that you can't see by sticking to the roads. Like the little skunk that just went about his business along the creek bed's edge, confident we wouldn't dare bother him. Or like when we came around the first bend and saw there was still one large pool of water, with a couple dozen or so fish trying to stay out of the mud. Or the large hole in the bank at the pool's edge that is home to who knows what kind of critter (I wasn't going to take a closer look!).

Also at that point, it looked like there was another channel that entered the creek (on a map, it looks as if it's a natural draw from the bluffs up north), but even stranger was that there were three or four large concrete structures crossing it, as if there was a bridge there at one time. But I saw no evidence of a road there. I'll have to check with one of my sources for local history about this.

We walked a little farther, and suddenly there was a loud crashing sound to our left, and then to our right! My heart pounded until I saw the white tails of several deer running through the woods alongside the creek bed. They must have been bedding down there for the day when we startled them.

At one point, the limestone bluffs that are common around here come right up the creek bed and towered over us. I imagine that back in the day when the creek was deep, that was probably a popular spot with the kids for swimming and diving in the summertime.

We got a little farther, and through the trees on our left, I could see some familiar sights of houses that line the road we usually walk on, so I knew we were getting close to the park. It was interesting to see the backyards of some of the houses we've walked by so many times.

We got to the park and climbed up to rest in the shade and get some water before heading home, since it was already getting hot. I don't know if we'll go that way again, but it certainly gave a different perspective on where I live.

All clear

Had my second mammogram since surgery on Tuesday, and got the notice today I am clear of cancer. Yay, me!

It continues to be hot, with temperatures above 100 degrees. Yesterday was a record-setting 112! I haven't been working out since the only place I really have room is in the garage, and it's even hotter in there. Tomorrow is supposed to bring some relief, with highs in the 80 for a couple days, then up to the 90s, so maybe workouts will be possible again. I'm tempted to go get that second punch card through the cancer center exercise program. Six weeks would get me through the end of August, and most of the hot weather around here.

That's all for now.

Hot!

The thermometer under the pecan tree read 110 this afternoon. That's in the shade, people! It is right now, at 8:45 p.m., still about 95 degrees.

The fish in the pool under the bridge near my house are starting to die. There were four dead ones today. I might end up taking the shovel down there to bury them, to keep down the smell and the flies and the chance of Nipper eating them a couple weeks from now. Yuck.

Since the creek is pretty much dry, and it's so hot, I set up a birdbath in the back yard. It's pretty easy to do. Birds are more attracted to moving water over stagnant water for bathing and drinking (wouldn't you be?), and this is a cheap way to help them out.

Just find a large dish -- just a couple inches deep at the most. I first used a plastic planter dish, then got a larger terra cotta one (the kind you would put under a pot to catch the water that leaks out). Set that someplace attractive to the birds. Mine is on the ground, but it could be on some kind of stand, too. Set it in the open somewhat, where predators won't be able hide and get the birds while they're drinking or bathing.

Then you need to hang some kind of container above it. I used a shepherd's hook, but you could use a tree branch if that's handy. For the container, I used a small drink bottle (not too small -- you don't want to have to constantly refill it -- and not too large that it will be too heavy for whatever you hang it from). I drilled a small hole near the top to put a bent wire hanger through to hang it from the pole. Poke a hole near the bottom with a pin and hang it up. The hole in the plastic of the bottle I used was actually too big, causing the water to spray, so I endup up putting some duct tape over that and poking a small hole in the duct tape. That seemed to make for a good drip rate.

I've seen robins and starlings and finches using the bath, and I'm sure they'll be more as word spreads. I'm sure the birds tell each other these things, because in the winter, they all seem to know when I put out fresh seed! And today when I was refilling the bottle, there was a bird in the tree singing. It sounded like it was trying to tell me to hurry up.

Here's some instructions for birdbaths/drippers:
Easy milk jug dripper
Bird bath water dripper with pictures.

It's OK!

Got the call -- the MRI is fine! Whoo-hoo!

Had the MRI today, and I think it took less time than the last one. Makes sense, since they were just doing my head this time. Don't know when we'll get the results, though, so I might be on pins and needles for awhile. I'm not too concerned, but it's still kind of nerve-wracking not knowing.

Well, looks like the thunderstorm has passed, so I better get my workout in!

Feeling stronger

Today I had my final assessment with the exercise program through the cancer center, and I was kind of surprised. My resting heart rate is lower than when I started about six weeks ago, and I took an extra 30 seconds on the exercise bike to reach a target heart rate compared to the first assessment. Both mean my heart is pumping more blood with each beat, my trainer said. I also did better on the strength test, getting 2-4 more reps on the leg press and chest press. Not bad for just twice a week!

I've even been starting to exercise at home. I did strength training Saturday and Sunday, and got on the exercise bike tonight for 20 minutes. I probably won't get quite as good a strength training regimen at home as I could at the fitness center, but it's a lot cheaper to work out at home!

I have been having a lot of headaches lately, and that's been a bit of a concern. They feel like tension/stress headaches, and there has been a lot stress at work, but I just need to make sure it's not something else. I'm coming up on one year since the biopsy, and that's just had me thinking a lot lately. Someone from an online group I'm part of died recently after her breast cancer metastasized in her brain, and someone from my local support group is dealing with a recurrence right now, and I guess that's been on my mind lately. So I talked to my nurse about the headaches today, and she talked to the oncologist, who suggested we could schedule an MRI. They were pretty understanding about it. I rarely ask questions or have complaints, so maybe they thought if I had something to say, it must be serious! At the least, the MRI should relieve some anxiety.

History mystery

This item was in my city's newsletter, about the corner at the other end of my block:

The pavement at the intersection of 11th and ****** streets has had a long-running problem in that it would not hold level. Several times over the years, the sink hole that would develop there was filled with asphalt. That would solve the problem -- for awhile. Just recently more asphalt was induced to the low area and it also sank.
So on June 7, 2006, the Public Works crew went to evaluate the problem. While excavating the area they found that a large tree, complete with branches, had been buried north to south across the middle of 11th Street. Its decomposition over time had continued to create air pockets that in turn caused the street to sink as those air pockets collapsed under the weight of the ground and traffic above.
As you can imagine, it was a shock to find a tree buried in the middle of the street. This is just another example of the strange things that are encountered from time to time in the process of updating the city's infrastructure.

Now, it doesn't say how big the tree was, but this street was once lined with cottonwoods, according to a book on the town that had been written by a local newspaper reporter years ago. There were big floods here in the 1950s that could have probably taken down a large tree, and the sludge could have buried it. My house was built in the 1930s, though, so you would think there would already be a road here (maybe not paved).
Strange little mystery.

Sad tonight

I got some sad news earlier tonight. The online friend I wrote about earlier this month died Saturday. Some months ago, she had seemed to be getting better, but then found her breast cancer had spread to her brain. They got some of the tumors through surgery and tried radiation and drugs for the others. But it just didn't work. Whenever she posted on the bulletin board through which we met, she always sounded upbeat; even just a week ago her final post on the board sounded better than she probably felt. She kind of went downhill from there, though, having some pain toward the end of the week, but didn't like taking the drugs she had because of the way they made her feel. She died in the ambulance that was taking her to the hospital's hospice care, where they could better manage her pain.

I didn't really know that much about her, other than what we'd discussed about cancer. She lived in the Philadelphia area, she had two cats (as of last Monday, she still had them; I hope they were a comfort). She wasn't on the best of terms with her family. I didn't know her that well, but she provided some good advice and calming words when I first got diagnosed and in my treatment.

Her friend who posted the sad news said that she hoped people would plant a tree in her memory, and others noted she liked red flowers. So maybe when the weather cools, or next spring, I'll plant something for Laura. May she rest in peace.

Catching up

Well, it wasn't the root beer at the steakhouse that brought on that headache a couple weeks back (has it been that long since I last wrote? Geez). We took dad there for Father's Day, and I did not have root beer, but I did have grilled chicken and got that headache again. I had a grilled chicken sandwich the time before. Ergo, it's the chicken. Guess I'll just have to stick to the steak when I go there. Oh, darn.

I have four visits left with the exercise program through the cancer center after today. I haven't lost any weight, but I feel a lot better. I even bought some exercise bands to use at home along with the dumbbells I already have, and have already gotten in a few workouts with them. I even cleaned out the garage last weekend, and that created some decent space to work out in (at least when it's not 100-some degrees in there). I've even gotten on the exercise bike a few times in the last couple weeks. I hope to pick up the home workouts, at least three times a week, plus getting back into my yoga tapes. I can really tell the difference in my flexibility pre-cancer and post-cancer.

Getting into the exercise routine would be easier, if I weren't addicted to all the stupid little Flash-game puzzles I keep coming across. There's some good ones here, particularly the Hapland games. Chasm is kind of cute (beware: the walkthrough is missing a step). The Crimson Room is good, but the "escape the room" games all get a bit old.

The creek is almost completely dried up where it runs (ran) by my house. There's a pool under the bridge, and a big puddle about 100 or so yards down the creek bed, where a neighbor told me there's a spring. I take Nipper walking down the dry bed some evenings. There's still some fish in that spring/puddle, and a couple ducks and what looked like a young great blue heron were there the other night. And there's turtle tracks everywhere as they look for some water to hang out in. It's kind of sad to walk through the park a few block away, where the creek has been dried up for weeks, and see a solitary goose or duck waddling through the weeds in the bed, like they're thinking "there must be water just up here." There's still water in the city lake, but for how much longer without a good rain?

Nipper chased a baby skunk through the backyard this morning. No stink, though. I think that pretty much covers the last week and a half.

Missing out

Tonight, hundreds of people are walking, luminaries being lit, names being read. I'm not there and I wish I was.

Tonight is the local Relay for Life. There's a "survivor's victory lap" at the beginning, and I had wanted to be there. But, thanks to those small-label root beers I had at the new favorite restaurant last night, I had a massive headache that lasted from about 7 p.m. last night to 10 a.m. this morning. It was so awful, it had me feeling a bit nauseas this morning. Even though it did go away, the day at work was awful and busy and I never got a chance for a break, so I felt like that headache was just lingering, waiting in the tenseness in the back of my neck for an opportunity to hit me again -- like walking a lap around the track in the sun in 100-degree temperatures.

So I didn't go, didn't meet with the support group I've quickly grown to like, marching behind our banner and getting our picture taken. I kind of wish I had gone. Given the choice, I'd rather not qualify for this group or the survivor lap, but I do, and that support means a lot. So I feel like I'm missing out on something special, especially as this comes so close to the time a year ago when I found out what I would be facing.

On top of that, I found out tonight that an online acquaintance has made the decision to end her cancer treatment and is at home under hospice care. I don't know her real well, or even know that much about her life outside of her dealings with cancer, but she offered me advice and comfort when I first started down this path, and it's hard to keep the tears out of my eyes trying to think about what she and her loved ones must be feeling now.

I'd say tomorrow will be better, but I have to work.

Gone with the wind

That's where my weekend seems to have gone. It's been blowing about 40-plus mph since early Friday, and it's stirring up something that has my sinuses making me feel pretty wonky. As long as I stay inside, I'm OK. All I have to do it seems is stick my head out the door and I start feeling bad. Add to that the near-100 degree temps, and it's not a great weekend.

So I've been spending it mostly inside, playing around on the computer. I found a couple of point-and-click games, Domestic Bliss and Carneyville. They're kind of weird, and also very frustrating, but I've killed a lot of time with them.

I did finish mowing the hill yesterday morning, without killing any fuzzy creatures. There's another rabbit hanging around the fenced-in backyard, but so far, no sign of a nest anywhere. We don't need to go through that again.

Hope everyone's weekend is going better.

Getting Lost

My theory on "Lost," based on watching the show and half-assedly surfing for clues:
Hanso was a weapons provider, so he went in search of a natural source of electromagnetic energy to experiment using it for a weapon and found this uncharted island. Something went terribly wrong, and they had to quickly come up with some way to contain the energy, hence entering the numbers to recharge the containment system or whatever. To ensure continual manpower, they concoct the Dharma project, disguising it as some kind of touchy-feely peacelovenamaste thing and psychological experiment, and meanwhile all the poor suckers go insane. A group of Hanso people charged with overseeing the island go a bit nuts, too, take the psychological experiment stuff seriously. They're the others.

There. That's as far as I've thought this through, because I actually have a life.

Ick ick ick

Lawn-mowing lesson No. 1: Always watch the path ahead of you for things you don't want to run over. Not just big sticks or trash either, but things like tiny furry things that don't yet know to run.

Poor little bunny.

Mother's Day

Almost one year ago (on Monday to be exact), my life changed drastically and for forever.

In July, after I'd been diagnosed and just before my surgery to insert the port-a-cath, my parents were at the hospital with me for some pre-op stuff. Mom was taking things hard that day, and as we walked back to the car, she said she felt like it was "all her fault."

Well, Mom it is all your fault. Because you wanted to go to the zoo on Mother's Day last year, I had to get up early on a Sunday morning and get dressed and ready to go. And because it was going to be kind of a hot day, after I took my shower I decided to put some powder on so things didn't get all hot and sweaty and uncomfortable. And so it's all your fault I found something that wasn't supposed to be there.

It's all your fault I didn't just collapse into a mental heap during my treatment. Like the week after my first chemo, when even though I felt fine, I couldn't go to work, or work in the yard or really do much of anything because my white blood cell count was almost nothing. That third day we got the call the count had dropped again, I hit probably the deepest depths of despair I've ever been too, but you were there to rub my head (I still had hair at that point) and lend me a shoulder to cry on.

It's at least partly your fault I didn't experience the horrible side effects a lot of people have during chemo. You made sure I took my meds on time and got them refilled. You made sure I knew when all my appointments were and what the doctors said.

It's your fault I paid the bills on time and walked the dog when I would have rather lay in bed feeling sorry for myself.

It's your fault, Mom, that I found this thing before it was too late, and was able to get rid of it.

Thank you, Mom. I love you. Happy Mother's Day.

Doing good

Dad is doing much better. He even went to the library today, at least to get out of the house for awhile. And after going a couple weeks without cigarettes (he's on the patch), he said he can smell the smoke in the house. This is probably the longest he's gone without a cigarette in his life! Wonder if he'll be able to give it up completely?

Nipper is doing much better. Whatever it was, it was short-term. Perhaps it was something in that McDonald's bag he buried his face in when I put him in the car that one day. I thought it was just some leftover fries, but maybe not.

The water heater got fixed with just a part (a thermo-something or other), so that's a relief.

I started the exercise program at the hospital's fitness center this week. Tuesday was an assessment. It took about nine minutes on the exercise cycle to hit my target heart rate, and I was able to lift 156 pounds 10 times on the leg press machine! I was able to do 64 pounds only about four times on the upper-body machine, though. Then Thursday I started the actual workout. I did about 25 minutes on the exercise bike, then we did some lower body work with an exercise ball, bands and the machines. I felt it a little bit in my thighs the next morning, but it wasn't too bad, really. My workout partner is a woman with blood cancer and is currently in treatment. It's good to have someone there with you, to kind of encourage you on. I'm really looking forward to getting more into this program.

I took my lunch to work every day this week! Along with the exercise, my goal is to cut down on how much I eat out, because it would be healthier than all the fast food I usually go for, plus I can save a little on the gas bill (it's around $2.80 here). Last month was actually pretty expensive with all the eating out and driving around, so I should have started on this weeks ago!

I'm also working on a new project -- designing a Web site for the local breast cancer support group I'm in. It won't be anything real flashy. But I thought it'd be nice for the group to have one as another way to get word out about us and have a way to keep in touch in between meetings. I'm using Yahoo's features -- Geocities for the main, public Web page that will have basic info about the group, and then Yahoo's groups for a members-only area for messages, photos, etc. I've already gotten started, and hope to have a good chunk of it done (if not all of it) for our next meeting in June. The place we meet has wireless access, so I'll get to show everyone what I've done!

Today sucks

My dog is at the vet, my water heater doens't work and all I could think about all day was how much I hate my job.

Nipper seemed fine most of the day, but about 3 p.m., we went over to Dad's where Mom is staying while he recuperates from his surgery. We'd been there about 45 minutes ore so, when Nip just started getting that droopy dog look. Mom let him in the house, and while I was mowing dad's lawn, she asked me to go in and check on Nipper. He was lying on the floor and breathing kind of shallow, like he did back in September. So I took him to the vet and she checked him over and did a blood test, which was OK. His belly was real tight, was all she found. So they're going to keep him overnight and do an ultrasound in the morning.

The pilot light on the water heater went out sometime yesterday. Mom and I got it relit, but when I checked this morning, no hot water -- the light had gone out again. So we got it re-lit, but still I get only lukewarm water. The pilot light is still lit, though. So we called a plumber, but it will be at least Tuesday before he can come out and look at it.

So I can't even have a good cry about my dog (and everything else bringing on the stress) while standing under a hot shower.

On the good side, Dad continues to improve. He's had a shower or two, and he gets up and down a little better.

Not home yet

Dad's still in the hospital, which isn't a big surprise. He's doing better on one hand, but they also have some concerns. He got up to walk a couple of times today and looks and sounds a lot better. He got nauseous and threw up while we were there tonight, and they have him on oxygen again because they're concerned he doesn't get enough oxygen when he's sleeping. He says it still hurts a lot, but he's off the morphine and on percocet. Maybe tomorrow he'll get out. We'll see.

Poor Nipper is probably going a bit nuts. Dogs like their routines, and life has been anything but this week. He's been alone most of the day and doesn't get his walks until late. We had to make it quick tonight, too, because a storm moved in. It was just a short one, with lots of thunder and lightning, but nothing severe. It wasn't much rain, but anything we can get is great, even if it does keep the dog in.

I met with the lady with the fitness center's cancer patient exercise program. Today was just filling out the paperwork and learning a bit more of what the program is about. Tuesday I get a physical assessment, and then the program itself will start Thursday. I'm really looking forward to this. I've never been a real athletic type, but I did do some yoga and weight training before the cancer, and I'd like to get back into it. I've just had a hard time getting motivated. Once I get going, though, it's like my body actually craves it. It's time to get going again.

Dad's doing OK

Dad had his surgery today, and it went as well as expected. He was pretty groggy, even after we got back from going out for supper. Mom and I stayed until about 8 p.m., and my brother stayed awhile longer until Dad told him to go on back home. I had my herceptin this afternoon, and we're shorthanded at work, so I didn't get to be with him when he went in for surgery, just afterwards. And actually, my nurse had trouble with my port today, so we were all wondering who was going to get done first, me or dad.

Dad was feeling kind of nauseous after they brought him to his room, but his doctor wouldn't actually prescribe anything for that unless he threw up. But it's hard to throw up when you haven't eaten anything for almost 24 hours! It was kind of hard to sit there and watch him in that state where your body wants to wake up but can't quite break out of the anesthesia yet. I guess that's how my folks felt when I had my surgery. It does help to know that someone you love is there, though.

He'll have to stay in the hospital at least a couple of days, so I'll probably go visit during my lunch breaks and after work. My brother will stay here at least through the end of the week, and Mom is taking some vacation time, so at least he'll have plenty of help when he gets back home.

I also had my MUGA scan again Monday morning, and it's down slightly again, to 50 percent, but still good enough to continue treatment. Thursday, I meet with someone from the hospital's fitness center about starting on their exercise program for cancer patients. I need to do something to start getting back in shape and dropping some of the habits I've fallen into the last few months. Sure, during treatment, I needed to rest in the morning instead of working out before getting ready for work, but not now. And sometimes during treatment I ate whatever and whenever because I needed to keep my weight up, but I need to quit snacking so much now. My work clothes are getting awful tight! Maybe this program will inspire me to get back into more healthy habits.

You know what's really hard? Going someplace like the hospital here where everyone treats you with such great care and respect, and then having to go to work where everyone is full of bad attitude and hard work gets no respect. It's getting so that there are some people I don't want to say much to because a simple "how are you doing" launches them into a five-minute tirade about their job. Of course, there's probably been some days where I've been that person. I really need to find something new. Or something new needs to find us.

Oh give me a home ...

Wednesday, I got my fast-food lunch and headed to the city park to sit in my car, read my book and watch the buffalo. Yes, the city where I work has its own buffalo herd in an enclosure of about 30 acres across the highway from the historic frontier fort. They've numbered into the double digits, but in the last couple years the city has thinned out the herd, selling off the older cows and the bull last year (they went to a good home, not in someone's freezer) and kept their four calves to rebuild with some new blood. There's a nice shady spot on the east side of the enclosure to park and watch them.

I parked and got out my Mclunch and opened my book. After awhile, the four of them got up from their wallow and grazed along the east side of the enclosure, up the hill to the southeast corner. After a bit more reading, I looked up again, and they were playing, butting heads and play-fighting, running around the others and kicking their heels. They really looked like they were having fun! I watched their antics for a bit, then finished my lunch and went back to the book. Then it was close to 2 p.m. and time to head back to work, so I grabbed my trash to dump it and the buffalo had disappeared, probably to the other side of the enclosure. Oh well. But as I got into my car and got ready to leave, here they came from around the lean-to type shed, running at full speed, mouths open, tongues hanging out, dust rising! They ran to near where my car was, then veered to the south end of the enclosure and ran around some more. There's only four of them, and they're still pretty small, but it was a cool sight. They finally got tired of running and headed for the big watering tank near where I was parked. It's big enough they can all have plenty of room to drink, but no, they all had to be in the same spot, so there was much shoving and shoulder-butting and snorting, like a bunch of little kids fighting for cookies but without the snorting. Maybe.

If I had a bunch of money, I'd get me a place about 30 or 40 acres with hills and a stream and trees and get me a herd of buffalo.

Vacation's almost over

Tomorrow I head back to work and I am really dreading it. The week off was pretty pleasant, despite the news (Dad's bone scan was clean, by the way). It would be great to be a trust fund baby or a lottery winner or something that allowed me to never worry about how to pay my bills and just do whatever I wanted.

But it's back to reality Monday, and the old grind. A friend is in town for Easter though, and I guess a dinner out is in the works for Monday evening. That'll be good.

This weekend was hot and windy, about 20-some degrees warmer than normal for this time of year, and about five times as windy. We did get Dad's lawn mowed and the front and east lawns here mowed, but I didn't really get to the hill. Sounds like I have some big, impressive estate, doesn't it? My property is along a creek (well, it's more a less a river by local standards), and on the west side is a hill that slopes down to the creek. It's got several trees, including a big, dead, cottonwood that will probably fall and kill someone one day, and it's a bitch to mow. Here's a peek:

That's the garage toward the upper left. It's hard to see through the trees, but there's a lot of grass there to cut. And the bindweed patch is already starting to take over. It's actually pretty nice to have, though, on a hot day when the trees are all leafed out and you can go sit in the shade on the bank and watch the fish swim and turtles sunning themselves on fallen trees. Nipper loves it too, except for the part where he gets hosed off before going inside.

More bad news

Just when things start looking up.

My dad went to the doctor a couple weeks ago with some bladder problems. He was told he had an enlarged prostate, and they also did a biopsy. It came back showing "some cancer." He had a follow up visit with the urologist today, and we found out it's extensive -- six of the eight areas they biopsied show cancer.

The good news is it sounds like it's curable. Dad seems to be opting for surgery, removing the prostate, and the doc said this is a very successful option for a lot of men. They'll check the nearby lymph nodes, but he said the bone scan Dad had today looks clean. He'll find out for sure on that when he sees his primary doc tomorrow and a radiologist has looked at it.

And Dad's still pretty upbeat about everything, so that's good. That's probably the most important thing is attitude, really, and I'm glad he's approaching this the way he is.

Maybe R. Kelley can do a song

Poor Nipper (my dog).

Mom had stuff to do in town most of the day today, so he was alone for awhile today. That wasn't the worst of it.

I came home a little after 5 p.m., like normal. Mom wasn't home yet, which didn't surprise me. I opened the door and called Nipper, but he didn't appear. I grabbed the newspaper and the mail and stepped inside. Still no Nipper. I set everything down and called, no sign of him. I checked Mom's bedroom, he wasn't in there. He wasn't in my room either. Now I'm feeling some panic. I turn and look, but he's not in the living room, either. I call him again ... and I hear a soft *scratch* coming from my room. I walk in, push open my closet door, and there's Nipper!

I have no idea how long he was in there, but he sure was happy to get out, running in circles, wagging his tail. He had to pee pretty bad, too. It probably wasn't too horrible -- we have walk-in closets, so he had plenty of room to lie down, but he was in near dark for however long. He must have gone in and bumped the door. It will close on its own if it's left past a certain spot. I have no idea what he was doing in there, though. It's not like I stash food or anything in there.

I hadn't planned on taking him for a walk because the weather was a bit stormy, but the clouds seemed to have passed by then, and he certainly needed to get out after being cooped up for however long. Poor guy. He doesn't seem traumatized, though.

Windy weekend

If I hate the wind so, why do I continue to live in one of the windiest states? I wonder about that sometimes, like when the wind howls at about 40 mph constantly for three days.

I did get some outdoor work accomplished, though. I finished raking up around the birdfeeders and cleaning last year's growth and collected leaves from the garden on the east side of the garage and got my wildflower garden partially cleaned up before some dark storm clouds moved in Saturday. Cutting down the pampas grass was the hardest part. It must have grown to about 10 foot tall last year, although winter's winds knocked the fluffy tops off it. I ended up using my small electric chain saw to get through it.

Today has been laundry, a walk with Nipper and some reading. Tonight is probably more laundry and reading.

Next Saturday I work, and then I'm off for a whole week, as my brother will be coming up for a visit from New Mexico! We don't have anything special planned, although I'll have my usual Tuesday treatment and Mom and Dad have some doctors' visits, too, I think.

That's my exciting life.

AAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!

Hapland 3 is out. I see some late nights in my immediate future.

Spring is in the air

The turkey buzzards are soaring and skunks are spraying, looking for mates. It's spring again on the creek.

Not exactly picturesque, but I was pretty excited to see a couple of turkey buzzards gliding on the winds when I took Nipper for a walk this afternoon. Aside from the two geese I saw when I first looked at this house, they were the first critters I saw when I bought the place.

It was moving-in day, and I arrived a bit before everyone else to meet the guys delivering the new stove. After they got it in, I went out to unload some things from the car when a shadow passed by. I looked around and here came a big, black bird, wings outstretched, right over the driveway. And then another, and another and another ... Probably a dozen in all, rising up from the cottonwoods along the creek just north of me. I feared this was some kind of omen about my future in the house, but I've come to look forward to seeing the buzzards. It's pretty cool to be driving home and see this cloud of birds a few blocks ahead where my house is. They circle around the creek for awhile, dipping and diving with just a slight tip of a wing. Sometimes it looks they're playing with each other, seeing how close they can get without actually hitting each other, or who can hover on an updraft the longest. Then, one by one, or sometimes in two or threes, they zoom off to the east, over the rest of town and into the countryside, in search of something stinky to eat, I imagine. Nature's cleanup crew.

A day to glow

Today was my last day of radiation. Hooray! That feels like a giant step closer to being done. We were going to go out to dinner to celebrate Thursday, but Mom's got a bad cold, so we just stayed in and tried to watch moves.*

The only bad affect I had was this last week when the doc upgraded my reaction to a 3 (on a scale of one to five) and gave me a prescription for a cream. It seems to be getting better, but is still kind of sensitive. They said it could take two or three weeks before it's healed. I'll see the doc in about two weeks, so I'll know how it's going then. I'm also supposed to avoid sun exposure, so the therapist told me "no nude sunbathing!" No problem, since there's still snow on the ground.

There's been an older couple from my hometown that's been coming in for his radiation. I didn't know them very well, but we'd chat while waiting for our appointments. They weren't there today, and I wished I'd gotten to see them just to say "good luck." Maybe I'll see them Tuesday, or some other week, since I'll be going in for my Herceptin for awhile.

Not much else is going on. I'm still having trouble keeping my virtual fish alive, and I started over yet again. Maybe if I'd quit forgetting to pause the game before going to bed and therefore neglecting them for almost 24 hours ...

*Do not watch a film called "Sunshine State." It is dull dull DULL. Too many stories going on at once, too much talking and it's all about as interesting as your own life. Not the reason I watch a movie. "Run Lola, Run" though, was suspensful, if a bit weird.

Winter's last punch

It's certainly giving us a last-minute return. Nipper had to go out just before 6 a.m., and my first thought after looking out the window was "so much for the snow." All I could see was a light covering on the grass. After I let Nip out the door, I thought I'd go ahead and put a fresh bucket of birdseed in and around the birdfeeders, since I have the day off and didn't want to get up in an hour or so when then sun came up. So I bundled up and went out and that's when I felt the wind and the near-blinding snow coming down. By the time Mom got home a little over an hour later, there was probably a few inches covering everything.

The birds and squirrels have been going at the feeders like crazy all morning. I'll probably go out after lunch, since what I put on the ground is pretty well buried, plus it'd help to get out and shovel the walks some too.

I got all my laundry done yesterday, so there's not much else to do today. Maybe something good will come in from Netflix.

Later.

At long last

This weekend, it's been dreary, cold and wet. Finally! We've had only 0.02 inch of rain here since the first of the year, and our last real significant moisture was the snow that fell that weekend I was in the hospital with kidney stones in mid-December!

And now that spring is literally almost upon us (12:19 p.m. Monday locally), we're supposed to get about 10-13 inches of snow by Monday night. Winter gets its last kick in, I guess.

As long as it's not like my senior year in high school, when we had two blizzards within a week's time that left 20-foot drifts over the highways. The first one came while a classmate, a teacher, her husband and youngest son and I were at the state high school journalism contest. What would be a short day trip back home became almost three days. We made it about halfway by the end of the first day and stayed the night at her parents' home. The next day, we got within 10 miles of home, but had to stop because the roads weren't clear. We finally made it home late the next afternoon, as I recall. I don't even really remember how I did at the contest that year.

Today, since there wasn't much point in going outside, I've been wasting some time with this game, Fish Tycoon. It's slow going, and I have trouble keeping my fish alive. I managed to sell my one healthy adult fish for $800 and bought some new fish eggs and tank equipment. And I just checked and the four fish I got out of that batch just had eight fry! Can't sell any yet, though. I've already started over once today, too, so I hope they stay healthy. I think I'm getting way too caught up in this, for as slow a game as it really is.

My last week of radiation is this week! It seems like it's gone by so fast. After this week, I'll just have the Herceptin. Here's hoping everything continues along smoothly.

Cancer in the news

Some recent cancer news:

Breast cancer drug trial stopped

Hot, hot, hot!

Shared care better for older breast cancer patients.

Nuke your boob to detect cancer?

Sping blows in

It must be spring, because the wind is blowing like crazy and there were tornadoes this morning on the other side of the state.

Another sign of spring: "our" geese are back! The past three springs since I bought this house (and the day I first came to look at it), there's been a pair of Canada geese that hangs around. I suspect they nest nearby, although I've seen them with goslings only a couple of times. Here's a photo from a couple of years ago:




We also have The Bachelor, our name for a single goose that has often made our yard a hangout. We don't know if it's male or female, though. I did get it to come close to me last year (baited with some Cheerios) to come close enough for a few photos:




Man, the wind is blowing so hard, and it's so dry, the place on the other side of the creek is almost obscured. The forecast called for winds gusting to 35 mph. I think they missed the mark by about 20 mph.

This can stop now, thank you. I'm just glad the pecan tree doesn't have leaves and pecans on it yet, otherwise, this might happen again.

Time flies

Not that I've been having a lot of fun or anything, though. Not much going on at all, so I haven't had that much to say, I guess.

Radiation is continuing to go well. This week, the doc told me I had a level 1 skin reaction to the radiation, on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being the highest. But, he said, if he could, he'd actually give a .5 reaction. I've read about some awful side effect to radiation -- severe sunburn-like effect, blisters, open wounds, etc. -- so I continue to be lucky with my reaction to treatment.

I have already gotten the "boost" part of my radiation. It started out as treatment for the whole breast. Then, last week, they said they'd start the six-treatment boost -- specifically targeting the radiation at the lumpectomy sight. The only difference I really noticed was that the machine was aimed from different angles, and each angle had one long blast rather than the two shorter ones with the whole-breast treatment. Thursday was back to the whole-breast treatment, and after Friday, I have only two weeks left to go!

My last MUGA scan came back unchanged, so I am continuing the Herceptin treatment. That's a breeze, though, compared to the earlier chemo drugs. No side effects -- I seem to be over the extremely dry nose -- and it only takes a couple hours or less. It's a nice break during the work week.

Nipper had a difficult time through the last week, however. It was Sunday or Monday when we noticed he was having a real hard time getting up and down, getting up on the couch or beds, etc. I gave him dog aspirin, and that seemed to help a little, but he just wasn't his usual self. Mom e-mailed me at work Wednesday and said he was hardly moving around and even seemed a little depressed, so I called the vet and got an appointment for the next day.

It seems to be his arthritis was acting up again. He wears a magnetic collar and eats a senior formula dogfood with glucosimine, but this was hitting him pretty hard. The vet gave us a sample of a new anti-inflammatory for dogs with arthritis and said if it is arthritis, we should see a change in about a week. Well, it only took one pill for him to be about 10 times better. By the time I got home from work Friday, he was almost his old self, wiggling around and dancing when he gets excited. He still has a little trouble getting up on the furniture and is slow to sit up or lie down, but he's much better. It's good to see.

The vet said it could be he might just need a little extra help with the arthritis in cold weather, but there is the chance he might need go on some medication permanently. Hopefully, that won't be the case just yet. At least it's warming up and we can get out for walks a bit more often now. We could both stand to lose a few pounds.

Don't expect more of this

Well, tonight was certainly interesting.

Once a month for several months now, I go to a meeting of S.O.S. -- Sisters of Survivorship, a breast cancer support group. We meet at Golden Corral, have a short opening session, eat, and then there's usually some kind of program. Lately, they've been getting away from the "let's talk about breast cancer" type of program. Last month, it was the owner of a local salon and spa talking about aromatherapy. Tonight, it was belly dancing.

Yes, believe it or not, in western Kansas there are belly dancers. This small group of women from a small town got started around the millennium looking for a new way to exercise, taking classes in Denver. After a couple years, they started performing for groups around the area and teaching classes. And they are by no means thin-as-a-rail women either. They didn't seem to care they have rolls and shook everywhere. In fact, they loved to laugh about it.

They demonstrated a couple dances, talked about some of the history and culture behind it, and then -- of course -- got us up to try it out. And it was actually fun. A year or so ago, I probably would have just sat in the corner and watched. But I figured what the hell, these women didn't care if they looked silly, and there were a lot of other people getting up who wouldn't know what they were doing either. So I got up, tried to move like the dancers, and a good time was had by all.

Just don't expect to see me doing figure eights or the camel anywhere in public.

And one last thng ...

Today I had a bad hair day.

Yay!

Two in one day

Well, in addition to seeing my oncologist this morning, I saw the radiation oncologist this afternoon after my radiation. That's more poking and prodding I've had in one day in quite awhile. He, too, said everything seems to be going well, and added something that I thought was quite amazing. He said that in 22 years, I am the first person he's seen that had the tumor gone by the time surgery came around. Usually, there's some small amount of the tumor to be found, but not in my case. Another first chalked up to me!

Doing OK

Visited with the doc this morning and she says I'm doing real well. I asked her about the article from yesterday about cancer spreading to the brain, and she said mostly she's seen that when there's a recurrence, so she's not too concerned about it with me. In my case, she said, she'll watch for the symptoms. So I'm not as worried about that now, because I am NOT going to have a recurrence.

More cancer news

This one is kind of scary:
Doctors want to find spreading cancer

More patients are surviving initial tumors long enough for their brains to be at risk, as treatments get better at battling cancer below the neck yet fail to protect the brain.

Now, breast specialists in particular are reporting an increasing number of women who beat back cancer elsewhere in the body, only to have it flare in the brain. It seems to be a special concern among users of Herceptin, a powerful drug that targets an aggressive type of breast cancer - everywhere except in the brain, because it's too large a molecule to penetrate the blood-brain barrier ...

It's scary because Herceptin is the drug I'm on through the end of the year. Fortunately, I see my oncologist tomorrow, so this will be something to ask about.

I had an MRI soon after I was diagnosed, and at that time it was clean. But I think at least one followup ought to be in the plan for the year. I've seen on a couple bulletin boards where women with bc had it spread to their brains, and it didn't sound good -- headaches, vision problems, vomiting, surgeries, rehab. Since I'm in the car about 30-40 minutes a day (that doesn't include if I have to go get lunch), I really don't want to risk something happening while I'm behind the wheel.

Anyway, it's the start of week three of radiation. So far so good. The breast is a bit tender and itchy at times, but no burning or anything yet.

I'm back

Back in the newsroom, that is. My last lab work was normal for all readings, and the nurse practitioner told me this week that the radiation shouldn't affect my counts too much. So I had my computer moved back into the newsroom Wednesday. It's kind of hard getting used to all the noise and activity again. On one hand, I missed all the noise, but on the other it was kind of nice to be away from it and have a private place to talk with co-workers.

I'm feeling great, physically, too and it feels good to feel good. I feel as good as I did before all the chemo started, in fact. No fatigue, stomach aches, constipation, etc. etc. And there's no affects from the radiation yet, either, except some soreness at my incision scar. It's not anything major, though; just some occasional discomfort. I expect to see something soon, though, as from what I've read it does take a couple weeks for anything to show up. I've been using aloe vera gel and trying to exercise. It's going to be pretty cold through the next handful of days, though, so I don't know how much exercise I'll get.

It's nice that things are really looking up again.

Breast cancer news

British court denies cancer drug plea

Quiet weekend

Again. It was a good one to decompress from a hectic Friday at work. Saturday, I did absolutely nothing. I didn't even get out of my PJs. I slept late, stayed up late, and in between surfed the Web, snuggled with the dog, watched the birds at the birdfeeder, surfed the Web, watched a movie, channel surfed and surfed the Web.

I made up for that today. Not that I didn't have a lot of down time to just relax, but I did load up the dishwasher and do my laundry and change the sheets on my bed. I watched some of the Olympics coverage (poor Apolo!) and did some reading. So now I guess I'm ready to face Monday. Or as much as I ever can be to face a Monday.

Cancer in the news

Good news about cancer out today. The number of cancer deaths in the U.S. has decreased, at least in 2003.

-- Breast cancer remains the most common cancer other than skin cancer among women, with an estimated 212,920 new cases and 40,970 deaths expected in 2006. Despite increasing incidence, the breast cancer death rate continues to fall.

Biopsies are best. Studies show biopsies are still the best way to determine breast cancer.

This one is incredibly sad. A woman in New Zealand begs for the money to pay for Herceptin.

Government funding of the drug is available only for women in advanced stages of breast cancer and others have to pay between $70,000 and $120,000 for a course of treatment.

Health advocates have said the policy means women with early-stage HER-2 positive cancers must choose either to find the money to optimise their chances of living or go without and accept the risk of a worse outcome.

New Zealand isn't the only country where there is probably happening, though.
Herceptin protester ends vigil after vote
Judgment reserved in Herceptin case

Considering the recent studies about Herceptin's effectiveness, I hope other countries come to realize it should be made available to those women it would help.

Piece of cake

... or easy as pie, whichever dessert you prefer.

Today was my first radiation treatment. From the time I sat down in the waiting room to when I walked out the doors to my car was all of 15 minutes. And next time will probably be even less because they took a couple of measurements that they won't have to do every time. Basically, I go in and partially undress (at least I don't have to have my bare bottom hanging out of the hospital gown), then lay on a table. There's a big machine at the head of table, part of which curves up and over and ends in big circular part that can rotate above and around you from one side to the other. The radiation therapists push and pull me around until I'm all lined up properly, then they leave the room to operate the equipment. The machine rotated first to above and to my right, and there was a couple moments of buzzing. Then it moved to below and to my left, more buzzing, and that was about it. I thought I felt a warm sensation in my breast during the treatment, but that might have been in my head.

There are things I have to remember, though. I can't use deodorant on my left side, because the metals in it can react with the radiation, apparently. So I use cornstarch instead. I'm going to try and put aloe vera gel on every day to help keep the skin from drying out or getting red. I also need to remember to drink plenty of water, since that will help hydrate the skin (and keep future kidney stones at bay) and eat plenty of protein, which helps the skin to rebuild. We'll see what happens.

On a side note, why is there more and more hype about the Superbowl every year, but the next day all anyone can say is how much the game itself sucked?

Inked up

Tried to post last night, but Blogger wouldn't respond for some reason, so here goes again.

Thursday I finished the set-up for my radiation. I met with two radiation therapists, probably two I'll see a lot of (and they'll see a lot of me, in more ways than one), and they had me lay on a table while they shoved me around to match up Tuesday's drawings and put even more marks all over my chest. I look like someone was trying to draw some directions to somewhere ("you go up over this hill, then turn south at the armpit ... "). Then they took pictures to help make sure everything was set up how the doc wanted. When that was OK, I got my tats. Nothing cool. They just smeared a little ink on six spots and jabbed me with a needle. That was it.

I think I'm going to continue with the Herceptin, despite the lowered reading on my MUGA scan. From what I've been reading, MUGA scans aren't all that accurate, off either way by as much as 5 percent. I feel fine, and the heart damage Herceptin causes is correctable by going off the drug for a short time. A lot of people on the discussion boards also mention getting exercise to help keep the heart in shape. So I'll get back into the habit of walking the dog every day after work, and maybe trying yoga at least a couple times a week. That should also help keep the fatigue from the radiation at bay as well.

I had lunch with a prof from college on Wednesday. It was good to talk to her. She's had a rough year herself. She thinks I should have enough credits that I could get the bachelor of general studies without having to take any classes. That would be great, although I can't remember how many math and science classes I've taken. I tended to avoid that department. She also encourage me to go for a master's. I'm not sure what I'd do with that. Teaching is a possibility, but I think I'd have to shoot for the college level for that. You can't teach just journalism in too many secondary schools that I've ever heard of, and I'm not sure I want to take four or more years to get an education degree and find another area I could teach. I also have to keep in mind I don't want to lose my full-time status at work while I'm still in treatment. That Herceptin is expensive! So I have some thinking to do, I guess.

Good news and eh kind of news

It's been a busy week, what with medical appointments every day for three days.

Today was a follow-up on my kidney stone. I had an X-ray this morning before meeting with the urologist, and he said it showed the left kidney is clean, and the small stone in my right kidney hasn't grown any. So that's at least good news. He said I could go ahead and have another lithotripsy and go ahead and get rid of that one, or wait and see if I pass it. I decided to wait and see. I'm just really tired of having things done to me, so even if it causes me pain again, I'd rather skip another visit to the OR. But he said if I drink plenty of water and avoid too much tea and cranberry juice (there's some substance in those that cause stones), it shouldn't grow.

Tuesday was my first visit with the radiation oncologist. I was impressed he could recite my treatment history without having my file or any notes in front of him. He answered my questions nicely, too. We met with a nurse first (Kelly, one of my favorite chemo nurses. She's a "floater," working as a fill-in, and is working in the radiation side for a while) and had the usual rundown of history and so forth. Then we met with the doc and his assistant (her name is Babe, believe it or not) and kind of went through some of the same info. The doc explained what else I would go through that day and what the radiation sessions would be like. Then a brief exam, and it was off to have a CT scan so they determine what radiation dosage I would get and to help them pinpoint what areas to radiate. The radiation tech had me lay on the scanner's table, and get into the position I'll be in during the treatment. Basically, I lay flat on my back with my left arm above my head. I was on a pillow full of Styrofoam pellets that was then vacuum-sealed so I can lay in the same position at each treatment. Then the doc came in and drew on my chest and side with a Sharpie, then the tech (who had VERY cold hands) drew some more. His marks were covered over with tape so they don't wash off. Those marks will be used when I go back tomorrow to finish the set-up process and to put the tattoos on me that they'll use to line up the equipment. It was kind of hard to hold still while they were marking up my sides, 'cause I'm awful ticklish. But I managed. Then it was into the scanner. This all took a little under a half hour.

I always thought if I got a tattoo, it would at least be something cool. But alas, my first ones will be little dots on my chest. They'll use these to help make sure I get radiated in the same place each time. I start the treatments on Monday, and it'll done five days a week for seven weeks. Most of the treatments will radiate the whole breast, but the last ones will be what they call a "boost," which are directed specifically at the site where the lump was. The actual treatment takes only about 10 minutes. I'll probably try to schedule it during an extra-long lunch hour, since the afternoon will work better with our production schedule at work.

After that, I'm basically done. Except for the Herceptin treatment, which may be extended. Monday, I had a MUGA scan, which basically measures how my heart is doing. Herceptin is known to cause heart damage, and I have to have a result of at least 50 percent to continue treatment. This time the result was 52 percent, down from 59 at the last one in December and 65 percent at my first one in August. When the cancer center called about it this morning, they said my oncologist said I have a choice. I can continue the Herceptin for four weeks or I can halt it for four weeks. Either way, I'll have another MUGA scan in four weeks. I haven't made up my mind yet. I feel fine, but that might not necessarily be an indicator something is wrong. I suppose if I decide to continue it, I can always change my mind if I start feeling funny.

The busy week has come to an end, though. Tomorrow, it's back to my usual schedule. At least this has made for a short work week. I hope I remember what my job actually is.