Spoke too soon

So all my bitching about having to go to Wichita? I take that back. And I'll be going back on Monday.

Wednesday morning, almost first thing at work, I got a call from my surgeon here. "You don't want to hear from me," she said. "They found something." Gotta love how direct she is. (Really, she is the best). The MRI shows something, about 4 cm, in the right breast -- the opposite side of where I had my cancer. It took a minute or so for it sink in. And by the time I got off the phone with her, I was shaking and tearing up. I headed for the bathroom, pausing to ask a co-worker to come with me, and I told her what the doc had said. Poor Kim. She's lost some good friends and family to cancer, so I'm sure it was hard for her to hear what I said, but I'm glad she was there for me (and I told her so). She took me out to lunch, and then she even drove me to see my surgeon in the afternoon. It's hard to find friends like that.

I did go see the surgeon Wednesday afternoon, and she did a sonogram. But she couldn't find anything but a plain old cyst. That's a good sign, but I'll still be going back to Wichita, where they will do an MRI-guided biopsy. Dad will be going with me, so that'll be good. And the appointment is in the afternoon, so we don't have leave before dawn.

I'm doing all right. Some good words from friends, co-workers and family have done a lot of good. And playing with Buster takes my mind off things. I have a good feeling about this, really. I'll deal with whatever comes my way, but of course, I'm hoping for the best.

A long day's drive ... and for what?

That's what I'm wondering after spending a good chunk of the day on the road today.

There is a fairly recent recommendaton that women at high risk for breast cancer (and obviously, if you've had it, you're at high risk) should get a breast MRI each year in addition to a mammogram. Both my oncologist and surgeon encouraged me to do so, we got that arranged. There are three places I could have gone -- Denver, which is about an 8 hour drive; Salina, about 90 minutes; or Wichita, about 3 hours. My doctors suggested either Denver or Wichita, because the recommendation says the facility should be able to do a biopsy in case something is found (and the MRI machine here isn't that good, my oncologist said). That left me with the impression that the MRI would be examined once it's done, and if there was something questionable, you'd get further examination and maybe a biopsy while there.

But when we were making the appointment, my surgeon's office manager mentioned that they "wouldn't be able to do it the same day." I thought that was kind of strange, but they already had all my info, so I didn't say anything. So this morning, I got up way early, left before dawn and was in Wichita in plenty of time. The MRI itself took a little over half an hour, and I was in the facility for maybe an hour and a half total. As I was getting dressed to leave, one of the techs said I would get the results "in a day or two" from my doctor.

So this just has me wondering if it's really worth it to drive six hours for maybe an hour and a half of my time, when it's a great big IF wether or not there will be anything to be concerned about. Why not just drive to the facility that's 90 minutes away -- even if they can't do the biopsy -- when I'd just have to make another appointment and another trip IF the Wichita facility found something? If my doctors had found something and the biopsy would be a sure thing and could be done the same day -- and the whole procedure couldn't be done at or closer to home -- then I wouldn't have a problem with making that trip. But just for an annual, routine procedure? Yeah, that's a problem. It takes me a day away from work, and driving that much sucks my energy -- not to mention gas (and at over $3 a gallon, that's a BIG dea).

I'll bring this up at my next support group meeting. I know a couple of others have had it done also, so I'll see what they think. And next year, I'll mention I'd prefer to go closer to home. Or maybe suggest the local hospital work on getting a new MRI.

Sick sick sick

I'm tired of it. Being sick, that is. A week ago, I came down with a cold that had some kind of vendetta. Sore throat, stuffy and painful sinuses, runny nose, bad cough ... blech. I slept most of that day until I had to go to work at the hotline. Didn't go to either job Monday, and suffered through Wednesday, when I worked both jobs. I was supposed to work Thursday and Friday nights, too, but fortunately we have a new hotline assistant, and she wanted to start ASAP, so the boss asked if I wouldn't mind letting her have those nights. I was too glad to have that opportunity! I don't think I'd be in near as good as a shape if I had worked those three nights in a row -- and I'm still not in too great a shape!

I am feeling much better though, and have managed to catch up on the housework I hadn't been able to get to. You can actually see the countertops in the kitchen now, and I have clean clothes! I still have to catch up on about three rooms' worth of cleaning, but I don't work too many weeknights this week, so I think I'll be able to manage.

I did get some bad news about one of my support group members last week. She went into the hospital after some vomiting and bad headaches. They found two small tumors in her brain, for which she's geting radiation now. Someone who went to visit her said she is in great spirits, though, and looking forward to getting on with life, so that's good news. The hospital here lets you send e-mails to patients through their Web site (volunteers print them out, paste them into a card and deliver them to the person), so I sent her message since I probably shouldn't go in to a place with sick people when I have a bad cold. I'm hoping she does well, because she was another who was diagnosed around the same time I was. This will be her third time around with treatment. Go, Gina! You can beat it again!

Snow day

Well, a half day, at least. When I woke up this morning, there was already about 3 inches covering the ground. The snow wasn't as heavy in the town where I work, but it kept up all day (and blowing), and when I got home about 1:30 this afternoon, there was probably about 7 inches on the ground here. I had scooped a path on the back patio to the garage before I left for work, and when I got home, you couldn't tell I'd done that.

Before I got settled in and cozy inside, I scooped paths in back and up front, not that you can tell now, and decided to put out some more birdseed. The birds did not want to leave the feeders, though, and one little female finch wouldn't get off the thistle feeder until I nudged her a few times with my finger! I've gotten within a couple feet of the feeders before they fly off sometimes, but never have I ever been able to walk right up to the feeder, let alone touch a wild bird!

I tried my mom's chili recipe for the first time today (after she FINALLY she gave me the recipe). I browned the meat Sunday and tossed it and the other ingredients in the slowcooker this morning. It tasted just as good as when she makes it, I thought, but I'll take some to Dad tomorrow (after the snow dies down) and see if he thinks it's just as good as what he calls Mom's "damn good chili." I filled up on that and cornbread muffins this afternoon, and had popcorn for dinner. Hey, it's a snow day, I can indulge!

Looks like I need to get a dog door in pronto. Mom is off on her next adventure, so Buster has some long days by himself when I'm working the hotline on a weekday. I hate leaving him alone, but I thought I could wait until spring to put in a dog door (since you're supposed to take the door off its hinges to install one) and in the meantime, Dad could come over and let him out on those long days.

Buster's timid around strangers, especially men, but I thought he was used to Dad by now and would be OK. We tried it Sunday, when I worked an 8-hour shift on the hotline, but Dad said Buster would not go out for him. He greeted Dad at the door, but went right into my bedroom and wouldn't come out. So I guess Operation Dog Door gets moved up. It's supposed to warm up toward the weekend, so maybe I can get something done soon.

I fixed my shower door! One of the rollers had come out on one of the sliding doors last week, so I have just kind of avoided using it. Once I got a look at it today, though, and saw what needed to be done, it didn't take very long. It was simple, but I'm kind of proud of myself and feeling all handy. Not that I'm going to go put in a dog door right now or anything.

Overworked

The past week has not been a great one. I've been putting in a lot of hours at the second job, due mostly to the fact the boss hasn't gotten around to hiring a new hotline assistant. My friend Judy, who helped me get this job, gave her notice more than three weeks ago. Her last day was the 16th (except that she's working today, since I'm working at the paper today and there's no way I could have done both jobs on a Saturday), and the boss is just now putting an ad for the job in Sunday's paper. Until now, all she'd done was call some people who had applied for the job at the same time I did -- months ago -- and couldn't seem to understand why none of them called her back. Duh!

It didn't help that the other hotline assistant had a family emergency and couldn't work two of her days. So I've had six days on this week's pay period alone -- twice what I should have! Add to that I had to get the paper's annual bridal tab laid out this week, and put in extra hours Tuesday and had to deal with the stupid software we have corrupting my file more than once, and I've had a very stressful week. And it's not necessarily over, at least until another hotline assistant is hired and trained.

So I'm just kind of kicking back this morning until I have to go in the paper to work. I slept in, and Buster and I went and filled the birdfeeders then played around the yard for awhile. Then we worked on some agility training, and Buster's doing quite well with that! For Christmas, my brother got me this agility kit. We haven't gotten to use it too much because of all the snow and cold and me working, but we got the chance to do it a couple times this week. I'm having fun. Buster has fun, once he figures out what I want him to do, and that the things aren't anything to be afraid of! So far, he's learned to do the high jump (actually the not-so-high-jump), and today, I got him to go through the tunnel a few times. He even did both in succession ... sort of. I can't wait for him to learn the weave poles, but the instruction book says that's usually the hardest part to train for, so I'll probably leave that for last, when the weather might be a bit warmer and we can get out more frequently.

There's no dog agility clubs or competitions where I live (not outside of 4-H, and I'm a bit old for that) at least that I know of, but maybe I'll post something somewhere and see if there's some interest. Even if there's not, it's been fun to do, so great gift, bro!

Some updates

I've been working on updating my Web site, Bad Dogs and the Women Who Love Them.(If you have that bookmarked, you'll have to change it). It just didn't seem right to keep Nipper on there now that he's gone. I didn't want to do away with it entirely, though, even though I haven't done much with it for years.

So I've redone the index page and profiles of Buster and I. Nipper's presence is still there, of course, since he was the inspiration, and I'll soon prepare a memorial page for him. There will be some other changes, too, slowly. Keep checking in.

Heat!

We have heat! After two months, the furnace is finally working! And I essentially have a brand-new furnace, for probably less than a third of the cost. It's nice and cozy warm here, and even my closet feels nice.

The bad thing is, dad's furnace went out on him this afternoon, or at some point today. The blower wouldn't stop and it was only putting out cool air, no heat. So he and Mom got it to quit by pulling the fuse on it so that part of the house would still have power and Mom took the space heaters we had been using to his house. Hopefully, it won't be anything big and can be fixed a lot faster than mine was!

It's a cold bugger, out there, too. I think it got to only the 20s today, and isn't supposed to get too much warmer through the next week. So I hope it won't take too long. Especially since Buster needs to burn off some energy! I come home and he wants to play ALL. NIGHT. LONG. He needs to get out for a good walk and some frisbee chasing when I get home.

Which might happen less for a while. One of the other hotline assistants quit, and they haven't hired anyone else yet. So I might have to pick up a few extra hours. But I'm not going to let that go on for long. It's just not worth it to be away from Buster and home (and do things like laundry) or be available to help Mom or Dad that much. There's plenty of other jobs out there, but I do like this one, since I'm basically paid $7 an hour to sit and wait for the phone to ring. Otherwise, I can read, write, surf the Net on their computer or play solitare, or sometimes I'll take my computer and work on personal stuff. If only I could take Buster, it'd be perfect.

Two warnings

Damn, I'm tired of it being cold in my house. It's not literally freezing, no danger really of the pipes bursting or anything, but it's just hard to get going in the mornings when it's cold. In case you are wondering, my furnace is still not working. Yeah, since before Thanksgiving. Except for the compressor, I basically have a new furnace, I think. And I'm not holding out hope that thing won't go either.

The first part, by the time the guy got my check and it cleared, it was on backorder, so we had to wait. Then when that got in, the furnace was still doing its mini-exlosion thing, so the repair guy had to check with the manufacturer and found it was the control board in the unit. So that had to be ordered. Then when he got that in, while we were gone, he left a note that try it, should work, and when Mom turned it on, the whole house started vibrating. Seems some packing material was still in there and was blocking the blower. He came out the next day, got that fixed, but then the blower wouldn't come on. So he's got some kind of valve ordered and we're waiting for that to come in.

I don't know what's worse. Not having heat because the electricity went out, or not having heat because of this. Now, we at least have electricity for space heaters, and while it gets chilly in the mornings, at least it's not the 40-some degrees inside during last year's ice storm. But after the ice storm, it was only a couple days we were without heat. I just want my damn furnace working.

And yeah, I probably could have avoided this with having regular maintenence done before winter, but know what? That costs money. And my newspaper job paid me only enough to get by with the basics. At least until 2006. I sat down last summer and figured it out. My regular expenses -- and I don't have a lot of extras I pay for -- went up more than 20 percent from 2006 to 2007. My paycheck? Went up by not even 2 percent. Guess what. That don't add up. Hence, the second job. Now I'm having to play catch-up on all the things I should have been able to do.

So, two warnings: Have your furnace checked when the weather's warm, and don't go into journalism if you want to be able to afford to do things like that.

Happy birthday/new year

So Sunday was my 39th birthday. I'm on my way now to the Big 4-0. And you know, I'm actually feeling pretty good about it. Sunday was a really good day. I slept in, with Buster kind of snuggled up with me, and later in the afternoon we went out to play and took a nice walk. I tossed his new floppy flying disc he got for Christmas for him, and he made a couple of awesome mid-air catches. There's still plenty of snow on the ground, but it was a warm day, so we were out for more than an hour. Later in the evening, Dad and I went into town and met Mom after she got off work for dinner at a new Mexican restaraunt that was excellent. We were all too stuffed to have cake when we got home, so I opened my presents.

It was an all-Peanuts birthday. I got a Peppermint Patty bobblehead and a Peanuts birthday set by the Danbury Mint from Mom, a Peanuts clock from Danbury Mint from Dad, and from my brother, the next in the series of books of the Peanuts strip collections and some cute Snoopy ice cube trays.






Today, I also had the day off from both jobs. I had a visit with my oncologist for my 2 and half year checkup, and most everything is well. My blood test showed I might have a kidney stone forming, so she ordered another blood test to make sure it's not a mistake, and then we'll see. I sure don't want to go through that whole thing again. But everything else was OK, and we discussed having my port-a-cath removed, which I'll talk more about with my surgeon when I see her next month.

So 2007 ends on a good year. I have a good feeling about 2008. Hope your new year goes well, everyone!

Merry Christmas!

Have an enjoyable day, everyone!

Back to posting

I haven't been anywhere, just haven't had much to say.

Still waiting for the furnace to be fixed. The heat exchange part has been replaced, but the furnace is still making that big WHUMP sound. The repair guy said it's probably something in the board ... I guess it controls when the furnace lights ... and it's maybe trying to light twice. He's supposed to be in tomorrow and thinks he'll be able to talk to some tech person from the manufacturer and get it figured out. I sure hope so. We have 3 space heaters, but it's awful chilly in the bedrooms and bathroom, especially in the morning.

We had a big snow last weekend, about 10 to 11 inches. Digging out from that was fun. Not. Buster doesn't seem to like deep snow. We went and romped around in the back yard for awhile, but mostly he liked to stay either where we had shoveled or where he had already worn a path. Made doing his "business" interesting, poor guy. More snow is expected this weekend, too.

Not much else is going on. Work, work and more work. A few nights off. Wrestling with Buster. Laughing at him as he picks up some dog kibble, runs into the living room to eat it, then runs back for more kibble and runs back to the living room to eat it .... He's got some quirks, that dog.

Here's the picture I used on Christmas cards to friends and family:

Christmas dog

Why do we torture our pets this time of year? Who cares. They're cute:
Trying to get Buster in the holiday spirit:

He thinks I look better in it:

Time for a retreat:

First snow

Big Creek in winter
Originally uploaded by junogle.

A photomerged image of the creek that runs by my property. First snow of the winter, about 2-3 inches. Wanted to get a shot of pristine snow before Buster and I went for a romp in it! Maybe more pix to come tomorrow.

Welcome to the 21st century

I bought a cell phone. My very first one. I've resisted until now because I'm just not a phone person. Never was. I just can't sit with some thing on my ear for hours, yakking away. I'd rather be face to face talking. E-mail is great for long distances, even though it's not the same as speaking to someone.

But, having a cell phone would make some things easier, especially where I live in a different town from where I work. And also where my parents live in the town I live in. They can always use e-mail to get ahold of me at work and they're at home, but once in awhile, one of us wasn't near e-mail and we couldn't necessarily get hold of each other right away when needed. So at least now that will be easier.

And it will be easier to deal with problems when I need to arrange some service person to get out to the house or make some other kind of appointment that I really don't want to use a work phone for.

And it would have come in handy on a day like today, where we had a guy come look at the furnace. I could have talked to him myself instead of having to relay messages through Mom or Dad via e-mail and her cell phone. Then I could have gotten the bad news myself. Turns out the heat exchange needs to be replaced. The repair guy said not to use it because it was puting out some carbone monoxide. And the WHUMPing sound it's been making was GAS EXPLODING! Kind of makes me mad at the guy we had check that late last winter and said he couldn't find anything wrong. I think we were pretty damn lucky, really.

Hopefully, the furnace is still under warranty. Then I'll just have to pay parts & labor. Otherwise, time to shell out some big bucks.

Last tase of summer?

I think it might be so. Right now, we've got sunny blue skies and about 70 degrees. Tomorrow, it dips back down into the 50s for the rest of the week, and I would imagine this is probably the last of summer's weather we'll see. So I've gotten my laundry done, including all my sheets, bedspread and duvet to get a last bit of sun-dried freshness in. I planted some daylily bulbs, too. It might be too late for them, but it hasn't really been cold enough for the ground to get too cold yet anyway.

Buster's been having fun hanging out in the backyard most of the day, although he seems to like laying in the shade of my sheets on the line! With all the trees pretty bare now, there's not much other shade. We went to the creek for awhile, and I threw a frisbee for him, at least until it landed halfway across the creek. Buster isn't one for swimming, it would seem, so we'll have to see if the frisbee floats in close enough to the bank to get back this week.

Tonight, I'll do some cooking. Mom's at work til about 6:30, so I thnk I'll make some of my chicken nuggets for dinner, and prepare some extra to freeze and store for busy days. Along with that, I'm going to make some sweet and sour chicken for tomorrow night (I'm working the hotline, and Mom's working til about 7), and then I'm going to bread some chicken breasts to freeze for Friday's dinner, when Mom's working until around 6 or 7 again. It'll be nice to have something easy to make for dinner after a busy day that's not some over-preserved frozen stuff in a bag. Yeah, those are convenient, but they just taste ... preserved. I'd rather have homemade (even if it's just semi-homemade). Or restaurant food. That's always good.

I do have some good news to pass along. I took an online certification course in grant writing from the nearby university, and passed the test with a 94 percent! I haven't studied or taken tests for a long time, so I was a bit nervous about how I'd do. My certificate should be in the mail soon. And I found out through my insurance agent that a mutual friend we had in college (and didn't know was a mutual friend) has a grant-writing biz on the side, so he gave me his contact info to get some tips and advice. Haven't done that yet, but I should. I hope eventually it might help boost my income level a bit, but that's probalby a ways off yet.

Well, I probably better start bringing the laundry in, and Buster needs a walk, so I guess I'll sign off for now.

Still here

Haven't gone anywhere, haven't done much. But I thought it was time to post.

Buster is doing well in his new home, and his personality is really taking shape. His favorite place is the backyard. He likes to stay out there laying in the sun or chasing a ball. We also found he likes chasing a disc, so I've got several cheap ones of those, since he likes to chew on them too! He's not as fond of going on walks as Nipper was, but we go about every day.

Also found out he's scared to death of cows. A farmer keeps some across the creek and up the road from us sometimes, and when we walked by there the other day, Buster did everything he could to not walk past them! He even almost slipped out of his collar. The next day, just smelling them was enough to make him scared. Big trucks still scare himk, too.

He's sleeping on my bed again, now though, so that's good. He curls up at the end of the bed instead of snuggling up next to me, though. But that's OK. It's enough to have him nearby. Except when he lies on top of my feet.

Back to work

Well, I'm back at work after being on vacation and Buster seems to be adjusting OK. We had about six days of my vacation time together, so he kind of got used to me sleeping in. Mom usually gets up earlier than I do when I'm on my days off, and after she'd get up, he'd try to get me up, too, and then get all excited when I did.

Thursday, though, when I got up early after my alarm went off, he was just escatic that I was up early! He ran into the kitchen when I went to fix breakfast, and ran back to my room with me and ran little circles as I went about getting ready for work. And then he stood at the door and looked confused when I went out to the car to leave. I was amazed at the difference in his behavior from one morning to the next. Friday, when my alarm went off and I got up, he actually seemed like he was moping! Like he had figured out that when the alarm goes off, it means I'm going to be leaving him. Now it's the weekend, of course, and I could sleep in, so it'll be interesting to see what happens when I get up Monday morning.

Today, when I was getting ready to take him for a walk, he seemed a little excited about it. That's the first time, so maybe he's starting to associated the word "walk" with going outside. And he does like to spend a lot of time outside, so I'm thinking maybe a doghouse would be a good idea. I'll probably still get a dog door, but if he likes spending so much time outside, it'd be a good idea to have something for him out there.

Bandana dog

He just looks like he needs one.


And if that's not enough for you, here's Buster in his first video:

Buster

Buster is adjusting pretty well to his new home. And we're adjusting to having a dog in the house again. It's a good adjustment, though.

He's so much the opposite of Nipper, though. Nipper was definatley an alpha dog. Nipper would listen to you if he wanted. He took up most of the bed, or couch or whatever he wanted to lay on. He decided when it was time to play, and when he wanted his walk, you'd better be ready! Part of that is my own fault. I didn't understand the particulars of canine communication, and so probably encouraged a lot of his alpha behavior. We eventually came to an understanding, and I think in some way he saw me as an equal. Which is better than being thought of as below him in the pecking order.

Buster, though, is not an alpha. He comes almost every time I call him, and he'll even come to a sit when he gets to me. I can roll him on his back with no problem. When I say no, he stops what he's doing. Usually. He does tend to bump my hand to be petted or use his teeth when giving me kisses or playing. He's a young guy, still, really, so a lot of that is puppy behavior, but he still needs to learn to stop doing it.

We're getting the sleeping arrangements worked out. After he rolled off the side of the bed last night, he curled up near my feet and seemed a lot more restful there, rather than on "his side" of the bed, like Nipper preferred. Buster doesn't use a pillow, either.

Buster is also a lot more attentive to sounds. He reacts to noise from the TV, especially kids and other high-pitched sounds but also dogs and loud noises. He notices just about every vehicle that passes by, but he doesn't startle at vehicles going over the nearby wooden bridge like he did the first day or so.

While I was at work today, Mom discovered he likes chasing a ball. I tried tossing one ball for him that first day, a hard rubber one that has a little jingle bell inside, but he never showed interest. Mom tried another ball that didn't make sound, and said he had fun chasing that one. So tonight, when he obviously needed to burn off some energy, I took him out for a bit and we had fun with the ball. Although I realized after a bit what it might sound like to the neighbors when I'm shouting "Get the ball Buster!" Oh well.

I was thinking about a cat ...

... but look what I brought home:


Say hello to Buster, a 13-month old blue heeler. He was a stray, just showed up at someone's house, and then was taken to the refuge run by my vet. She'd had him about three weeks. About all they know about him is that he's not good at herding, and so they suspect maybe he was bought for that purpose, and when he didn't prove to be good, was just let loose.

He's very sweet and mellow, not at all excitable like you'd think a working breed would be. They said he doesn't have separation issues, so that's very good with the concerns I have about being away from the house more with the second job. I'll just need to get a dog door before too long, but he does seem housebroken. When I first let him into the house, he sniffed around a bit and started to lift his leg on a door frame. All I did was make a scolding noise, and he scampered away pretty quick. Same thing when he started to poop in a part of the yard I didn't want him to. He's also pretty timid around new people and loud noises, and when I took him for a walk, he got scared a couple times by some big trucks. It makes me wonder what's happened to this guy to make him that way.

But he seems to be relaxing now and maybe getting used to the idea that this is home. I'm on vacation until next Wednesday, so we'll have some time to get to know each other. Really, I'm pretty happy to have come home with a dog. I like cats, but they're just not the same. I'm sure a cat person would feel the same thing about dogs. But I'm not a real outgoing person, and having a dog makes me more outgoing. I get out around the neighborhood, see what's going on, chat with the neighbors. I'd been a bit worried that with a cat, I might have gotten a bit too reclusive.

I can tell tonight, though, it has been far too long since I've been walking!