Doing good

Dad is doing much better. He even went to the library today, at least to get out of the house for awhile. And after going a couple weeks without cigarettes (he's on the patch), he said he can smell the smoke in the house. This is probably the longest he's gone without a cigarette in his life! Wonder if he'll be able to give it up completely?

Nipper is doing much better. Whatever it was, it was short-term. Perhaps it was something in that McDonald's bag he buried his face in when I put him in the car that one day. I thought it was just some leftover fries, but maybe not.

The water heater got fixed with just a part (a thermo-something or other), so that's a relief.

I started the exercise program at the hospital's fitness center this week. Tuesday was an assessment. It took about nine minutes on the exercise cycle to hit my target heart rate, and I was able to lift 156 pounds 10 times on the leg press machine! I was able to do 64 pounds only about four times on the upper-body machine, though. Then Thursday I started the actual workout. I did about 25 minutes on the exercise bike, then we did some lower body work with an exercise ball, bands and the machines. I felt it a little bit in my thighs the next morning, but it wasn't too bad, really. My workout partner is a woman with blood cancer and is currently in treatment. It's good to have someone there with you, to kind of encourage you on. I'm really looking forward to getting more into this program.

I took my lunch to work every day this week! Along with the exercise, my goal is to cut down on how much I eat out, because it would be healthier than all the fast food I usually go for, plus I can save a little on the gas bill (it's around $2.80 here). Last month was actually pretty expensive with all the eating out and driving around, so I should have started on this weeks ago!

I'm also working on a new project -- designing a Web site for the local breast cancer support group I'm in. It won't be anything real flashy. But I thought it'd be nice for the group to have one as another way to get word out about us and have a way to keep in touch in between meetings. I'm using Yahoo's features -- Geocities for the main, public Web page that will have basic info about the group, and then Yahoo's groups for a members-only area for messages, photos, etc. I've already gotten started, and hope to have a good chunk of it done (if not all of it) for our next meeting in June. The place we meet has wireless access, so I'll get to show everyone what I've done!

Today sucks

My dog is at the vet, my water heater doens't work and all I could think about all day was how much I hate my job.

Nipper seemed fine most of the day, but about 3 p.m., we went over to Dad's where Mom is staying while he recuperates from his surgery. We'd been there about 45 minutes ore so, when Nip just started getting that droopy dog look. Mom let him in the house, and while I was mowing dad's lawn, she asked me to go in and check on Nipper. He was lying on the floor and breathing kind of shallow, like he did back in September. So I took him to the vet and she checked him over and did a blood test, which was OK. His belly was real tight, was all she found. So they're going to keep him overnight and do an ultrasound in the morning.

The pilot light on the water heater went out sometime yesterday. Mom and I got it relit, but when I checked this morning, no hot water -- the light had gone out again. So we got it re-lit, but still I get only lukewarm water. The pilot light is still lit, though. So we called a plumber, but it will be at least Tuesday before he can come out and look at it.

So I can't even have a good cry about my dog (and everything else bringing on the stress) while standing under a hot shower.

On the good side, Dad continues to improve. He's had a shower or two, and he gets up and down a little better.

Not home yet

Dad's still in the hospital, which isn't a big surprise. He's doing better on one hand, but they also have some concerns. He got up to walk a couple of times today and looks and sounds a lot better. He got nauseous and threw up while we were there tonight, and they have him on oxygen again because they're concerned he doesn't get enough oxygen when he's sleeping. He says it still hurts a lot, but he's off the morphine and on percocet. Maybe tomorrow he'll get out. We'll see.

Poor Nipper is probably going a bit nuts. Dogs like their routines, and life has been anything but this week. He's been alone most of the day and doesn't get his walks until late. We had to make it quick tonight, too, because a storm moved in. It was just a short one, with lots of thunder and lightning, but nothing severe. It wasn't much rain, but anything we can get is great, even if it does keep the dog in.

I met with the lady with the fitness center's cancer patient exercise program. Today was just filling out the paperwork and learning a bit more of what the program is about. Tuesday I get a physical assessment, and then the program itself will start Thursday. I'm really looking forward to this. I've never been a real athletic type, but I did do some yoga and weight training before the cancer, and I'd like to get back into it. I've just had a hard time getting motivated. Once I get going, though, it's like my body actually craves it. It's time to get going again.

Dad's doing OK

Dad had his surgery today, and it went as well as expected. He was pretty groggy, even after we got back from going out for supper. Mom and I stayed until about 8 p.m., and my brother stayed awhile longer until Dad told him to go on back home. I had my herceptin this afternoon, and we're shorthanded at work, so I didn't get to be with him when he went in for surgery, just afterwards. And actually, my nurse had trouble with my port today, so we were all wondering who was going to get done first, me or dad.

Dad was feeling kind of nauseous after they brought him to his room, but his doctor wouldn't actually prescribe anything for that unless he threw up. But it's hard to throw up when you haven't eaten anything for almost 24 hours! It was kind of hard to sit there and watch him in that state where your body wants to wake up but can't quite break out of the anesthesia yet. I guess that's how my folks felt when I had my surgery. It does help to know that someone you love is there, though.

He'll have to stay in the hospital at least a couple of days, so I'll probably go visit during my lunch breaks and after work. My brother will stay here at least through the end of the week, and Mom is taking some vacation time, so at least he'll have plenty of help when he gets back home.

I also had my MUGA scan again Monday morning, and it's down slightly again, to 50 percent, but still good enough to continue treatment. Thursday, I meet with someone from the hospital's fitness center about starting on their exercise program for cancer patients. I need to do something to start getting back in shape and dropping some of the habits I've fallen into the last few months. Sure, during treatment, I needed to rest in the morning instead of working out before getting ready for work, but not now. And sometimes during treatment I ate whatever and whenever because I needed to keep my weight up, but I need to quit snacking so much now. My work clothes are getting awful tight! Maybe this program will inspire me to get back into more healthy habits.

You know what's really hard? Going someplace like the hospital here where everyone treats you with such great care and respect, and then having to go to work where everyone is full of bad attitude and hard work gets no respect. It's getting so that there are some people I don't want to say much to because a simple "how are you doing" launches them into a five-minute tirade about their job. Of course, there's probably been some days where I've been that person. I really need to find something new. Or something new needs to find us.

Oh give me a home ...

Wednesday, I got my fast-food lunch and headed to the city park to sit in my car, read my book and watch the buffalo. Yes, the city where I work has its own buffalo herd in an enclosure of about 30 acres across the highway from the historic frontier fort. They've numbered into the double digits, but in the last couple years the city has thinned out the herd, selling off the older cows and the bull last year (they went to a good home, not in someone's freezer) and kept their four calves to rebuild with some new blood. There's a nice shady spot on the east side of the enclosure to park and watch them.

I parked and got out my Mclunch and opened my book. After awhile, the four of them got up from their wallow and grazed along the east side of the enclosure, up the hill to the southeast corner. After a bit more reading, I looked up again, and they were playing, butting heads and play-fighting, running around the others and kicking their heels. They really looked like they were having fun! I watched their antics for a bit, then finished my lunch and went back to the book. Then it was close to 2 p.m. and time to head back to work, so I grabbed my trash to dump it and the buffalo had disappeared, probably to the other side of the enclosure. Oh well. But as I got into my car and got ready to leave, here they came from around the lean-to type shed, running at full speed, mouths open, tongues hanging out, dust rising! They ran to near where my car was, then veered to the south end of the enclosure and ran around some more. There's only four of them, and they're still pretty small, but it was a cool sight. They finally got tired of running and headed for the big watering tank near where I was parked. It's big enough they can all have plenty of room to drink, but no, they all had to be in the same spot, so there was much shoving and shoulder-butting and snorting, like a bunch of little kids fighting for cookies but without the snorting. Maybe.

If I had a bunch of money, I'd get me a place about 30 or 40 acres with hills and a stream and trees and get me a herd of buffalo.

Vacation's almost over

Tomorrow I head back to work and I am really dreading it. The week off was pretty pleasant, despite the news (Dad's bone scan was clean, by the way). It would be great to be a trust fund baby or a lottery winner or something that allowed me to never worry about how to pay my bills and just do whatever I wanted.

But it's back to reality Monday, and the old grind. A friend is in town for Easter though, and I guess a dinner out is in the works for Monday evening. That'll be good.

This weekend was hot and windy, about 20-some degrees warmer than normal for this time of year, and about five times as windy. We did get Dad's lawn mowed and the front and east lawns here mowed, but I didn't really get to the hill. Sounds like I have some big, impressive estate, doesn't it? My property is along a creek (well, it's more a less a river by local standards), and on the west side is a hill that slopes down to the creek. It's got several trees, including a big, dead, cottonwood that will probably fall and kill someone one day, and it's a bitch to mow. Here's a peek:

That's the garage toward the upper left. It's hard to see through the trees, but there's a lot of grass there to cut. And the bindweed patch is already starting to take over. It's actually pretty nice to have, though, on a hot day when the trees are all leafed out and you can go sit in the shade on the bank and watch the fish swim and turtles sunning themselves on fallen trees. Nipper loves it too, except for the part where he gets hosed off before going inside.

More bad news

Just when things start looking up.

My dad went to the doctor a couple weeks ago with some bladder problems. He was told he had an enlarged prostate, and they also did a biopsy. It came back showing "some cancer." He had a follow up visit with the urologist today, and we found out it's extensive -- six of the eight areas they biopsied show cancer.

The good news is it sounds like it's curable. Dad seems to be opting for surgery, removing the prostate, and the doc said this is a very successful option for a lot of men. They'll check the nearby lymph nodes, but he said the bone scan Dad had today looks clean. He'll find out for sure on that when he sees his primary doc tomorrow and a radiologist has looked at it.

And Dad's still pretty upbeat about everything, so that's good. That's probably the most important thing is attitude, really, and I'm glad he's approaching this the way he is.

Maybe R. Kelley can do a song

Poor Nipper (my dog).

Mom had stuff to do in town most of the day today, so he was alone for awhile today. That wasn't the worst of it.

I came home a little after 5 p.m., like normal. Mom wasn't home yet, which didn't surprise me. I opened the door and called Nipper, but he didn't appear. I grabbed the newspaper and the mail and stepped inside. Still no Nipper. I set everything down and called, no sign of him. I checked Mom's bedroom, he wasn't in there. He wasn't in my room either. Now I'm feeling some panic. I turn and look, but he's not in the living room, either. I call him again ... and I hear a soft *scratch* coming from my room. I walk in, push open my closet door, and there's Nipper!

I have no idea how long he was in there, but he sure was happy to get out, running in circles, wagging his tail. He had to pee pretty bad, too. It probably wasn't too horrible -- we have walk-in closets, so he had plenty of room to lie down, but he was in near dark for however long. He must have gone in and bumped the door. It will close on its own if it's left past a certain spot. I have no idea what he was doing in there, though. It's not like I stash food or anything in there.

I hadn't planned on taking him for a walk because the weather was a bit stormy, but the clouds seemed to have passed by then, and he certainly needed to get out after being cooped up for however long. Poor guy. He doesn't seem traumatized, though.

Windy weekend

If I hate the wind so, why do I continue to live in one of the windiest states? I wonder about that sometimes, like when the wind howls at about 40 mph constantly for three days.

I did get some outdoor work accomplished, though. I finished raking up around the birdfeeders and cleaning last year's growth and collected leaves from the garden on the east side of the garage and got my wildflower garden partially cleaned up before some dark storm clouds moved in Saturday. Cutting down the pampas grass was the hardest part. It must have grown to about 10 foot tall last year, although winter's winds knocked the fluffy tops off it. I ended up using my small electric chain saw to get through it.

Today has been laundry, a walk with Nipper and some reading. Tonight is probably more laundry and reading.

Next Saturday I work, and then I'm off for a whole week, as my brother will be coming up for a visit from New Mexico! We don't have anything special planned, although I'll have my usual Tuesday treatment and Mom and Dad have some doctors' visits, too, I think.

That's my exciting life.

AAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!

Hapland 3 is out. I see some late nights in my immediate future.

Spring is in the air

The turkey buzzards are soaring and skunks are spraying, looking for mates. It's spring again on the creek.

Not exactly picturesque, but I was pretty excited to see a couple of turkey buzzards gliding on the winds when I took Nipper for a walk this afternoon. Aside from the two geese I saw when I first looked at this house, they were the first critters I saw when I bought the place.

It was moving-in day, and I arrived a bit before everyone else to meet the guys delivering the new stove. After they got it in, I went out to unload some things from the car when a shadow passed by. I looked around and here came a big, black bird, wings outstretched, right over the driveway. And then another, and another and another ... Probably a dozen in all, rising up from the cottonwoods along the creek just north of me. I feared this was some kind of omen about my future in the house, but I've come to look forward to seeing the buzzards. It's pretty cool to be driving home and see this cloud of birds a few blocks ahead where my house is. They circle around the creek for awhile, dipping and diving with just a slight tip of a wing. Sometimes it looks they're playing with each other, seeing how close they can get without actually hitting each other, or who can hover on an updraft the longest. Then, one by one, or sometimes in two or threes, they zoom off to the east, over the rest of town and into the countryside, in search of something stinky to eat, I imagine. Nature's cleanup crew.

A day to glow

Today was my last day of radiation. Hooray! That feels like a giant step closer to being done. We were going to go out to dinner to celebrate Thursday, but Mom's got a bad cold, so we just stayed in and tried to watch moves.*

The only bad affect I had was this last week when the doc upgraded my reaction to a 3 (on a scale of one to five) and gave me a prescription for a cream. It seems to be getting better, but is still kind of sensitive. They said it could take two or three weeks before it's healed. I'll see the doc in about two weeks, so I'll know how it's going then. I'm also supposed to avoid sun exposure, so the therapist told me "no nude sunbathing!" No problem, since there's still snow on the ground.

There's been an older couple from my hometown that's been coming in for his radiation. I didn't know them very well, but we'd chat while waiting for our appointments. They weren't there today, and I wished I'd gotten to see them just to say "good luck." Maybe I'll see them Tuesday, or some other week, since I'll be going in for my Herceptin for awhile.

Not much else is going on. I'm still having trouble keeping my virtual fish alive, and I started over yet again. Maybe if I'd quit forgetting to pause the game before going to bed and therefore neglecting them for almost 24 hours ...

*Do not watch a film called "Sunshine State." It is dull dull DULL. Too many stories going on at once, too much talking and it's all about as interesting as your own life. Not the reason I watch a movie. "Run Lola, Run" though, was suspensful, if a bit weird.

Winter's last punch

It's certainly giving us a last-minute return. Nipper had to go out just before 6 a.m., and my first thought after looking out the window was "so much for the snow." All I could see was a light covering on the grass. After I let Nip out the door, I thought I'd go ahead and put a fresh bucket of birdseed in and around the birdfeeders, since I have the day off and didn't want to get up in an hour or so when then sun came up. So I bundled up and went out and that's when I felt the wind and the near-blinding snow coming down. By the time Mom got home a little over an hour later, there was probably a few inches covering everything.

The birds and squirrels have been going at the feeders like crazy all morning. I'll probably go out after lunch, since what I put on the ground is pretty well buried, plus it'd help to get out and shovel the walks some too.

I got all my laundry done yesterday, so there's not much else to do today. Maybe something good will come in from Netflix.

Later.

At long last

This weekend, it's been dreary, cold and wet. Finally! We've had only 0.02 inch of rain here since the first of the year, and our last real significant moisture was the snow that fell that weekend I was in the hospital with kidney stones in mid-December!

And now that spring is literally almost upon us (12:19 p.m. Monday locally), we're supposed to get about 10-13 inches of snow by Monday night. Winter gets its last kick in, I guess.

As long as it's not like my senior year in high school, when we had two blizzards within a week's time that left 20-foot drifts over the highways. The first one came while a classmate, a teacher, her husband and youngest son and I were at the state high school journalism contest. What would be a short day trip back home became almost three days. We made it about halfway by the end of the first day and stayed the night at her parents' home. The next day, we got within 10 miles of home, but had to stop because the roads weren't clear. We finally made it home late the next afternoon, as I recall. I don't even really remember how I did at the contest that year.

Today, since there wasn't much point in going outside, I've been wasting some time with this game, Fish Tycoon. It's slow going, and I have trouble keeping my fish alive. I managed to sell my one healthy adult fish for $800 and bought some new fish eggs and tank equipment. And I just checked and the four fish I got out of that batch just had eight fry! Can't sell any yet, though. I've already started over once today, too, so I hope they stay healthy. I think I'm getting way too caught up in this, for as slow a game as it really is.

My last week of radiation is this week! It seems like it's gone by so fast. After this week, I'll just have the Herceptin. Here's hoping everything continues along smoothly.

Cancer in the news

Some recent cancer news:

Breast cancer drug trial stopped

Hot, hot, hot!

Shared care better for older breast cancer patients.

Nuke your boob to detect cancer?

Sping blows in

It must be spring, because the wind is blowing like crazy and there were tornadoes this morning on the other side of the state.

Another sign of spring: "our" geese are back! The past three springs since I bought this house (and the day I first came to look at it), there's been a pair of Canada geese that hangs around. I suspect they nest nearby, although I've seen them with goslings only a couple of times. Here's a photo from a couple of years ago:




We also have The Bachelor, our name for a single goose that has often made our yard a hangout. We don't know if it's male or female, though. I did get it to come close to me last year (baited with some Cheerios) to come close enough for a few photos:




Man, the wind is blowing so hard, and it's so dry, the place on the other side of the creek is almost obscured. The forecast called for winds gusting to 35 mph. I think they missed the mark by about 20 mph.

This can stop now, thank you. I'm just glad the pecan tree doesn't have leaves and pecans on it yet, otherwise, this might happen again.

Time flies

Not that I've been having a lot of fun or anything, though. Not much going on at all, so I haven't had that much to say, I guess.

Radiation is continuing to go well. This week, the doc told me I had a level 1 skin reaction to the radiation, on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being the highest. But, he said, if he could, he'd actually give a .5 reaction. I've read about some awful side effect to radiation -- severe sunburn-like effect, blisters, open wounds, etc. -- so I continue to be lucky with my reaction to treatment.

I have already gotten the "boost" part of my radiation. It started out as treatment for the whole breast. Then, last week, they said they'd start the six-treatment boost -- specifically targeting the radiation at the lumpectomy sight. The only difference I really noticed was that the machine was aimed from different angles, and each angle had one long blast rather than the two shorter ones with the whole-breast treatment. Thursday was back to the whole-breast treatment, and after Friday, I have only two weeks left to go!

My last MUGA scan came back unchanged, so I am continuing the Herceptin treatment. That's a breeze, though, compared to the earlier chemo drugs. No side effects -- I seem to be over the extremely dry nose -- and it only takes a couple hours or less. It's a nice break during the work week.

Nipper had a difficult time through the last week, however. It was Sunday or Monday when we noticed he was having a real hard time getting up and down, getting up on the couch or beds, etc. I gave him dog aspirin, and that seemed to help a little, but he just wasn't his usual self. Mom e-mailed me at work Wednesday and said he was hardly moving around and even seemed a little depressed, so I called the vet and got an appointment for the next day.

It seems to be his arthritis was acting up again. He wears a magnetic collar and eats a senior formula dogfood with glucosimine, but this was hitting him pretty hard. The vet gave us a sample of a new anti-inflammatory for dogs with arthritis and said if it is arthritis, we should see a change in about a week. Well, it only took one pill for him to be about 10 times better. By the time I got home from work Friday, he was almost his old self, wiggling around and dancing when he gets excited. He still has a little trouble getting up on the furniture and is slow to sit up or lie down, but he's much better. It's good to see.

The vet said it could be he might just need a little extra help with the arthritis in cold weather, but there is the chance he might need go on some medication permanently. Hopefully, that won't be the case just yet. At least it's warming up and we can get out for walks a bit more often now. We could both stand to lose a few pounds.

Don't expect more of this

Well, tonight was certainly interesting.

Once a month for several months now, I go to a meeting of S.O.S. -- Sisters of Survivorship, a breast cancer support group. We meet at Golden Corral, have a short opening session, eat, and then there's usually some kind of program. Lately, they've been getting away from the "let's talk about breast cancer" type of program. Last month, it was the owner of a local salon and spa talking about aromatherapy. Tonight, it was belly dancing.

Yes, believe it or not, in western Kansas there are belly dancers. This small group of women from a small town got started around the millennium looking for a new way to exercise, taking classes in Denver. After a couple years, they started performing for groups around the area and teaching classes. And they are by no means thin-as-a-rail women either. They didn't seem to care they have rolls and shook everywhere. In fact, they loved to laugh about it.

They demonstrated a couple dances, talked about some of the history and culture behind it, and then -- of course -- got us up to try it out. And it was actually fun. A year or so ago, I probably would have just sat in the corner and watched. But I figured what the hell, these women didn't care if they looked silly, and there were a lot of other people getting up who wouldn't know what they were doing either. So I got up, tried to move like the dancers, and a good time was had by all.

Just don't expect to see me doing figure eights or the camel anywhere in public.

And one last thng ...

Today I had a bad hair day.

Yay!

Two in one day

Well, in addition to seeing my oncologist this morning, I saw the radiation oncologist this afternoon after my radiation. That's more poking and prodding I've had in one day in quite awhile. He, too, said everything seems to be going well, and added something that I thought was quite amazing. He said that in 22 years, I am the first person he's seen that had the tumor gone by the time surgery came around. Usually, there's some small amount of the tumor to be found, but not in my case. Another first chalked up to me!

Doing OK

Visited with the doc this morning and she says I'm doing real well. I asked her about the article from yesterday about cancer spreading to the brain, and she said mostly she's seen that when there's a recurrence, so she's not too concerned about it with me. In my case, she said, she'll watch for the symptoms. So I'm not as worried about that now, because I am NOT going to have a recurrence.

More cancer news

This one is kind of scary:
Doctors want to find spreading cancer

More patients are surviving initial tumors long enough for their brains to be at risk, as treatments get better at battling cancer below the neck yet fail to protect the brain.

Now, breast specialists in particular are reporting an increasing number of women who beat back cancer elsewhere in the body, only to have it flare in the brain. It seems to be a special concern among users of Herceptin, a powerful drug that targets an aggressive type of breast cancer - everywhere except in the brain, because it's too large a molecule to penetrate the blood-brain barrier ...

It's scary because Herceptin is the drug I'm on through the end of the year. Fortunately, I see my oncologist tomorrow, so this will be something to ask about.

I had an MRI soon after I was diagnosed, and at that time it was clean. But I think at least one followup ought to be in the plan for the year. I've seen on a couple bulletin boards where women with bc had it spread to their brains, and it didn't sound good -- headaches, vision problems, vomiting, surgeries, rehab. Since I'm in the car about 30-40 minutes a day (that doesn't include if I have to go get lunch), I really don't want to risk something happening while I'm behind the wheel.

Anyway, it's the start of week three of radiation. So far so good. The breast is a bit tender and itchy at times, but no burning or anything yet.

I'm back

Back in the newsroom, that is. My last lab work was normal for all readings, and the nurse practitioner told me this week that the radiation shouldn't affect my counts too much. So I had my computer moved back into the newsroom Wednesday. It's kind of hard getting used to all the noise and activity again. On one hand, I missed all the noise, but on the other it was kind of nice to be away from it and have a private place to talk with co-workers.

I'm feeling great, physically, too and it feels good to feel good. I feel as good as I did before all the chemo started, in fact. No fatigue, stomach aches, constipation, etc. etc. And there's no affects from the radiation yet, either, except some soreness at my incision scar. It's not anything major, though; just some occasional discomfort. I expect to see something soon, though, as from what I've read it does take a couple weeks for anything to show up. I've been using aloe vera gel and trying to exercise. It's going to be pretty cold through the next handful of days, though, so I don't know how much exercise I'll get.

It's nice that things are really looking up again.

Breast cancer news

British court denies cancer drug plea

Quiet weekend

Again. It was a good one to decompress from a hectic Friday at work. Saturday, I did absolutely nothing. I didn't even get out of my PJs. I slept late, stayed up late, and in between surfed the Web, snuggled with the dog, watched the birds at the birdfeeder, surfed the Web, watched a movie, channel surfed and surfed the Web.

I made up for that today. Not that I didn't have a lot of down time to just relax, but I did load up the dishwasher and do my laundry and change the sheets on my bed. I watched some of the Olympics coverage (poor Apolo!) and did some reading. So now I guess I'm ready to face Monday. Or as much as I ever can be to face a Monday.

Cancer in the news

Good news about cancer out today. The number of cancer deaths in the U.S. has decreased, at least in 2003.

-- Breast cancer remains the most common cancer other than skin cancer among women, with an estimated 212,920 new cases and 40,970 deaths expected in 2006. Despite increasing incidence, the breast cancer death rate continues to fall.

Biopsies are best. Studies show biopsies are still the best way to determine breast cancer.

This one is incredibly sad. A woman in New Zealand begs for the money to pay for Herceptin.

Government funding of the drug is available only for women in advanced stages of breast cancer and others have to pay between $70,000 and $120,000 for a course of treatment.

Health advocates have said the policy means women with early-stage HER-2 positive cancers must choose either to find the money to optimise their chances of living or go without and accept the risk of a worse outcome.

New Zealand isn't the only country where there is probably happening, though.
Herceptin protester ends vigil after vote
Judgment reserved in Herceptin case

Considering the recent studies about Herceptin's effectiveness, I hope other countries come to realize it should be made available to those women it would help.

Piece of cake

... or easy as pie, whichever dessert you prefer.

Today was my first radiation treatment. From the time I sat down in the waiting room to when I walked out the doors to my car was all of 15 minutes. And next time will probably be even less because they took a couple of measurements that they won't have to do every time. Basically, I go in and partially undress (at least I don't have to have my bare bottom hanging out of the hospital gown), then lay on a table. There's a big machine at the head of table, part of which curves up and over and ends in big circular part that can rotate above and around you from one side to the other. The radiation therapists push and pull me around until I'm all lined up properly, then they leave the room to operate the equipment. The machine rotated first to above and to my right, and there was a couple moments of buzzing. Then it moved to below and to my left, more buzzing, and that was about it. I thought I felt a warm sensation in my breast during the treatment, but that might have been in my head.

There are things I have to remember, though. I can't use deodorant on my left side, because the metals in it can react with the radiation, apparently. So I use cornstarch instead. I'm going to try and put aloe vera gel on every day to help keep the skin from drying out or getting red. I also need to remember to drink plenty of water, since that will help hydrate the skin (and keep future kidney stones at bay) and eat plenty of protein, which helps the skin to rebuild. We'll see what happens.

On a side note, why is there more and more hype about the Superbowl every year, but the next day all anyone can say is how much the game itself sucked?

Inked up

Tried to post last night, but Blogger wouldn't respond for some reason, so here goes again.

Thursday I finished the set-up for my radiation. I met with two radiation therapists, probably two I'll see a lot of (and they'll see a lot of me, in more ways than one), and they had me lay on a table while they shoved me around to match up Tuesday's drawings and put even more marks all over my chest. I look like someone was trying to draw some directions to somewhere ("you go up over this hill, then turn south at the armpit ... "). Then they took pictures to help make sure everything was set up how the doc wanted. When that was OK, I got my tats. Nothing cool. They just smeared a little ink on six spots and jabbed me with a needle. That was it.

I think I'm going to continue with the Herceptin, despite the lowered reading on my MUGA scan. From what I've been reading, MUGA scans aren't all that accurate, off either way by as much as 5 percent. I feel fine, and the heart damage Herceptin causes is correctable by going off the drug for a short time. A lot of people on the discussion boards also mention getting exercise to help keep the heart in shape. So I'll get back into the habit of walking the dog every day after work, and maybe trying yoga at least a couple times a week. That should also help keep the fatigue from the radiation at bay as well.

I had lunch with a prof from college on Wednesday. It was good to talk to her. She's had a rough year herself. She thinks I should have enough credits that I could get the bachelor of general studies without having to take any classes. That would be great, although I can't remember how many math and science classes I've taken. I tended to avoid that department. She also encourage me to go for a master's. I'm not sure what I'd do with that. Teaching is a possibility, but I think I'd have to shoot for the college level for that. You can't teach just journalism in too many secondary schools that I've ever heard of, and I'm not sure I want to take four or more years to get an education degree and find another area I could teach. I also have to keep in mind I don't want to lose my full-time status at work while I'm still in treatment. That Herceptin is expensive! So I have some thinking to do, I guess.

Good news and eh kind of news

It's been a busy week, what with medical appointments every day for three days.

Today was a follow-up on my kidney stone. I had an X-ray this morning before meeting with the urologist, and he said it showed the left kidney is clean, and the small stone in my right kidney hasn't grown any. So that's at least good news. He said I could go ahead and have another lithotripsy and go ahead and get rid of that one, or wait and see if I pass it. I decided to wait and see. I'm just really tired of having things done to me, so even if it causes me pain again, I'd rather skip another visit to the OR. But he said if I drink plenty of water and avoid too much tea and cranberry juice (there's some substance in those that cause stones), it shouldn't grow.

Tuesday was my first visit with the radiation oncologist. I was impressed he could recite my treatment history without having my file or any notes in front of him. He answered my questions nicely, too. We met with a nurse first (Kelly, one of my favorite chemo nurses. She's a "floater," working as a fill-in, and is working in the radiation side for a while) and had the usual rundown of history and so forth. Then we met with the doc and his assistant (her name is Babe, believe it or not) and kind of went through some of the same info. The doc explained what else I would go through that day and what the radiation sessions would be like. Then a brief exam, and it was off to have a CT scan so they determine what radiation dosage I would get and to help them pinpoint what areas to radiate. The radiation tech had me lay on the scanner's table, and get into the position I'll be in during the treatment. Basically, I lay flat on my back with my left arm above my head. I was on a pillow full of Styrofoam pellets that was then vacuum-sealed so I can lay in the same position at each treatment. Then the doc came in and drew on my chest and side with a Sharpie, then the tech (who had VERY cold hands) drew some more. His marks were covered over with tape so they don't wash off. Those marks will be used when I go back tomorrow to finish the set-up process and to put the tattoos on me that they'll use to line up the equipment. It was kind of hard to hold still while they were marking up my sides, 'cause I'm awful ticklish. But I managed. Then it was into the scanner. This all took a little under a half hour.

I always thought if I got a tattoo, it would at least be something cool. But alas, my first ones will be little dots on my chest. They'll use these to help make sure I get radiated in the same place each time. I start the treatments on Monday, and it'll done five days a week for seven weeks. Most of the treatments will radiate the whole breast, but the last ones will be what they call a "boost," which are directed specifically at the site where the lump was. The actual treatment takes only about 10 minutes. I'll probably try to schedule it during an extra-long lunch hour, since the afternoon will work better with our production schedule at work.

After that, I'm basically done. Except for the Herceptin treatment, which may be extended. Monday, I had a MUGA scan, which basically measures how my heart is doing. Herceptin is known to cause heart damage, and I have to have a result of at least 50 percent to continue treatment. This time the result was 52 percent, down from 59 at the last one in December and 65 percent at my first one in August. When the cancer center called about it this morning, they said my oncologist said I have a choice. I can continue the Herceptin for four weeks or I can halt it for four weeks. Either way, I'll have another MUGA scan in four weeks. I haven't made up my mind yet. I feel fine, but that might not necessarily be an indicator something is wrong. I suppose if I decide to continue it, I can always change my mind if I start feeling funny.

The busy week has come to an end, though. Tomorrow, it's back to my usual schedule. At least this has made for a short work week. I hope I remember what my job actually is.

Feeling better

Things are looking up. I don't have a constant upset stomach, I can eat tasty food again, and I'm generally feeling more upbeat. It's amazing how cancer drugs can affect every facet of your life.

Still not loving my job, but some days can make up for the bad ones. My co-page designer was gone today (daycare problems, it seems) so I did page one, and on a day when we had a big story. Wednesday afternoon, there was a chase on the interstate that ended in a shootout. The two people in the car were killed, and it turns out they are suspects in a Utah murder. Add to that the student teacher who was arrested after almost 40 pounds of pot was found in his car on school grounds, and it's been an interesting week around here. That doesn't happen often. When it does, though, there's kind of an electricity in the newsroom, and that reminds me of one of the reasons I got into this business in the first place. Tomorrow, back the to drudgery, though: it's wedding page day.

I think I might still look into finishing my degree (that would be my bachelor's, by the way). I was looking at the local university's online course catalog the other day, and it wouldn't take too much, I don't think, but if I took just one course a semester, it might take a year or so. If I went for my journalism degree, I figure it'd be around 11 hours. There's another required course for the journalism degree they added (on electronic media), and I'd have to finish the Spanish III course. I might be able to do those online. There's also a couple of lab classes I'm not sure I ever took. On the other hand, I might be able to get a bachelor of general studies with even less work. I think there, I might have a course in the sciences to meet the requirements. I've probably got enough hours in communication to meet the area of concentration requirement, but I'm not sure about the electives requirement. I'm having lunch next week with a prof from my college days, so I'll probably ask her what she thinks.

I finally got around to finishing cleaning my room. Now I just have some filing and organizing to do. Got my taxes started and that refund is looking good! I should use it to pay bills, but I might splurge and get me a nice new chair for the living room or my bedroom, or use it to paint the rest of the rooms in the house and do some decorating and landscaping.

Next week, I have three days in a row of medical appointments: Monday is a MUGA scan to make sure the Herceptin isn't damaging my heart; Tuesday is my appointment to set up for radiation and also Herceptin day; and Wednesday is my checkup with the urologist on my kidney stone. I guess at least I'll have some time away from work. That's always one way to look at it.

Hello again

Things didn't necessarily improve after my last post. I guess Neupogen is trying to get its last shots in on me or something. My stomach was upset for days, I couldn't eat much and I got a bit depressed. I'm still not really out of it totally. I'm still feeling a bit down, and my stomach was still a bit upset today, plus I've got some heartburn. I'm just so tired of being sick and tired all the time. I just want to feel good again, and it's not happening fast enough.

Then on top of it all, I go to a job that I don't feel all that good about, either. Somehow, I just feel like I don't fit in there anymore. Even when I was back in the newsroom, it didn't feel like I was part of things. I go in, do the mundane tasks, and go home, and only a few people -- not anyone who decides how much or what work I do -- really tries to include me in anything. I've tried getting myself back into things, with little response. Maybe I just don't care enough about this place anymore to try that hard.

Maybe this next year would be a good time to take some classes, learn some new skills and then when I'm all done with my treatment (and don't have to worry so much about the insurance issues) move on. It's too late to enroll in this semester, so maybe I should look into that before summer.

Things just got worse

After Monday's post, it certainly did. The bone pain got so bad I could not comfortable and could not really sleep, even after taking Loratab, a prescription painkiller I got from after my surgery to put my port in. It relaxed me physically some, especially after I moved out to the couch to sleep, but I hated what did to my head. I was picking up conversations with people I haven't seen or heard from in a decade. I wouldn't have made it through the night if it weren't for Mom, rubbing my back and reminding me to take my antibiotics on time. I was in tears a lot from both the pain and frustration. Thanks, Mom! You need a raise, too.

We visited with my oncologist Tuesday, and told her about the bone pain and about how the Novelbine had been affecting me as far as a stronger fatigue and my emotions up and down, and she said we could end that part of my treatment! And also no more of the Neupogen shots for a few days, until we see what my blood count is. So the good news is, that part of my chemo is over! I couldn't be more relieved, honesty, because this was becoming hard. I don't think I could have taken another week of it. Now I understand where some of the women on the breastcancer.org board were coming from, and some of them seemed to have it a lot worse. It's not just your body that suffers, but your emotions, your sense of worth (when you don't know from day to day if you can go to your job or do anything around the house).

I'll continue with the herceptin for about the next year. The doc said she's confident enough about where I'm at that losing the few weeks of the Novelbine won't be any harm. The herceptin is the drug that will do it, she said. She also said she's had another bc patient who had kidney stones, so the company is looking into any connection. Turns out that patient is the sister-in-law of a co-worker who was diagnosed about the same time I was. And then Monday, I also found out another co-worker's sister-in-law has just been diagnosed. It's almost scary how much there of this going around.

I'll also be starting my radiation treatment earlier. That wasn't supposed to be for another couple months, after the Novelbine, but now I'll meet with the radiation oncologist in two weeks, so I'll probably start soon after. I know there's a lot of prep work they do (including putting little tattoos on you so they can line up the equipment to zap the right spot. I always thought if I got a tattoo, it'd at least be something cool. Oh well.)

I did throw up yesterday, after we got home from the doc's visit. I just attributed it to all the stress and sleeplessness of the night before, but I've felt kinda nauseous off and on since then. It's really annoying, because I really just want to wake up and feel good for once.

Yucky Monday

Got my blood drawn for lab work this afternoon and the results are not good. My white blood cell count is so low, they won't let me have my treatment tomorrow. I'll still see my doc, and I'm going to ask her about possible having treatment every other week. Even though that will stretch out my treatment, I'd rather have time in between to build my immune system, strength and emotions back up. More Neupogen shots are on tap for today, tomorrow and Wednesday, too. The bone pain is manageable when I'm at home, but when I went to work for a few hours this afternoon, I hard time not moaning and groaning a lot. Which would have been embarrassing, since the managers were having their meeting in the next room. (Reason no. 32 I do not want to be a manger: you spend a lot of time talking about really boring stuff in a LOT of detail. "Should it say 'the' here? Does that arrogant? Is it even grammatically correct?" Yawwwwn!)

Thanks all for the support. I need some cheering up once in a while!

I know it's been awhile

Truthfully, I haven't been feeling as good as my last post may have sounded. Through the last week I've just felt dead tired. Since treatment last Tuesday, the fatigue has hit hard, not to mention the digestive problems. I haven't felt much like eating more than liquids anyway. I went to work only half days Wednesday and Thursday, managed to get through a full day Friday and then had to work the desk (about 11 hours) on Saturday. I was walking like an old, arthritic person, as one buddy at work put it. On top of all that, it was hard keeping my spirits up last week. Nipper and I spent a lot of snuggle time together.

My white blood cell counts are way down again, so not only am I in my little "office" again, but I'm on antibiotics and had Neupogen shots Friday, Saturday and Sunday to bring the count up again.

Sunday was spent all day in bed still dead tired. Some scrambled eggs from Mom in the evening perked me up a bit, but I ended up staying home from work this morning. I got up and went through my usual routine, but was pretty exhausted after my shower. So I called in sick for the morning, and glad I did. About the time I would have got to work, the bone pain from the Neupogen shots kicked in. Imagine the worst ache you've ever had (ladies, that's probably not too difficult, guys I don't know what your equivalent would be ), and imagine it coming from deep inside every big bone in your body -- not just hips, but the lower back, thighs, shoulders, arm, sometimes even the ribs. This is from deep inside the marrow, too. Fortunately, painkiller and the heating pad seem to help.

I have to go in for lab work today to see if I'm up for chemo tomorrow. I might put in an hour or two at work (God forbid a man should have to do the Food Page). It's an awful blustery day today, too. At least we're not getting the snow they were predicting earlier. But I wish I'd been feeling better yesterday when it was about 70 and sunny and my poor dog should have been out enjoying it instead of comforting me. He needs a raise.

A better day

I'm feeling much better today, although I woke up this morning with a headache, so I didn't get a lot done earlier today. All week I felt pretty crappy -- tired, bloated, etc. -- and just wound up each day on the couch with the heating pad and then to bed with the heating pad. I suffered through work with an upset stomach all day. I hope this isn't going to be the way I react to the new chemo regimen, 'cause it would really suck to feel that awful for the next two months. If it happens again next week, I guess I'll need to talk with my doc about it.

I'm glad I'm feeling better today because we have more of the unseasonably warm weather that's been pervading this winter. It's about 60 right now, and as soon as the laundry in the dryer (with some clean sweatpants) is done, I'm taking Nipper for a walk. We both need to get out in the sunshine and fresh air.

This morning I did get a couple loads of laundry done. I need to finish the cleanup/organizing I started on my bedroom last week and start taking the decorations off the tree. Since I didn't feel great, I did at least watch "Kill Bill Vol. 1," which I've had sitting around for a week or so. It's the first Tarantino film I've seen. Most of the first half was pretty dull, I thought, and a couple of times I almost turned it off. It didn't really get my interest until she went to Tokyo to kill the first of the assassins. And the violence is pretty over the top, what with the fountains of blood and cheesey '70s music, so it's not like it's gory violence -- more comic, really. Still, it's probably not something my mom would want to watch.

Well, laundry's done. Time for a nice walk.

Christmas pics

Some Christmas-time pics from us:
Nipper gets into the Christmas spirit:



Nipper and me:


Nipper shows off one of his gifts:



Me with the curio cabinet my mom, dad and brother gave me. That's just part of my Peanuts collection in there:

Blahg entry

I haven't posted for a few days because I haven't been feeling that great. I've been a little ... blocked up, let's say, and bloated and it's not a great feeling, especially when combined with fatigue. I hope this is just a temporary thing and doesn't happen every week, since I'm getting the Navelbine every week for the next seven weeks along with the Herceptin. I don't want to get to feeling better only to have this happen all over again after treatment Tuesday. It would really suck to feel like this for the next two months.

Dinner's been really simple the last couple days -- last night was just mashed potatoes. Tonight, I'm thinking a milkshake. Then an evening on the couch with the hot pad. Exciting life, eh?

Dinnertime

Tonight I made dinner for myself. I know that sounds unremarkable, but I don't really cook much. Mom (if you're new here, SHE moved in with ME) does most of the cooking. Cooking every day does get to be a drag, but there is a good feeling from making your own meals. Mom didn't feel good tonight, so she just had Cream of Wheat.

I like to cook, but I'm not real fancy about it. I mean, it's not like I have all day to make a big meal. There's always something out of a box or a can or frozen, but I like to stay away from the over-processed stuff when I can. Tonight was pretty simple. A baked chicken breast, some mashed potatoes, corn muffins -- one my favorite quick meals. I also made enough I that I can take some for lunch later in the week. I need to do more of that kind of thing (see the previous post). Prepackaged, store-bought meals are convenient and all, but especially having had cancer, I should be cutting my intake of highly processed foods.

I actually have one of those FoodSaver vacuum sealers. I don't use it as much as I did at first, but maybe I'll get back into using it. I know the infomercials are goofy, but it really works as well as they say it does. Of course, I bought one BEFORE they added the feature that lets you vacuum seal breads and other soft foods. Oh well. If I got a new one, they'd just come up with some new features.

Obligatory resolutions post

So it's 2006, and time for resolutions. Here we go:
1) Get through the rest of my treatment with the same ease I did the first part.
2) Stay healthy the rest of the year.
3) Finish the kitchen/dining room decorating project I started the summer before last.
4) Paint my bedroom and living room. Worry about making everything else in the rooms match next year.
5) Use at least one week of my vacation time to travel somewhere.
6) Take my lunch to work more than I eat out.

That's enough. Can't overdo it, after all.

Not a party gal

My New Year's Eve started out with a stomach ache. So I spent most of the morning in bed. I felt better after a grilled cheese for lunch and then a shower.

This afternoon, I took Nipper for walk, which made him a happy boy, and then Mom and I took off for town, where she picked up her prescriptions and I picked up a new TV for my bedroom. For quite some time, the picture has faded in and out on the old one, so when we got $20 in gift certificates for our Christmas bonus at work (whoo-hoo!) I thought I'd get a new TV. It's nothing special, just a little 13-inch. It's at least got a headphone jack, so if I watch TV while Mom's sleeping, I don't have to have the sound down almost all they way.

Tonight, I spent a good part of the evening making some minor updates and improvements on my Web page. Nothing big, just editing some outdated stuff and changing the navigation to drop-down menus. Yeah, I'm at the forefront of Web design all right. I got through most of the site. Maybe I'll finish it up tomorrow.

And that's as exciting as my beginning of 2006 will be. If I even manage to stay awake long enough to see it come around.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Happy birthday!

Yes, today is my birthday. No. 37. I suppose I should have some deep, introspective entry here about What I Have Learned in the last six months or something, but I'm not feeling that deep today.

I really hate having a big to-do about my birthday anymore. I mean, once you're not interested in the latest toys from whatever hot movie, it's not as much fun, right? Better to just have a few people wish you happy birthday and maybe have a special dinner with friends or family and hope your presents are something that's useful or sentimental, depending on who gives it.

A few people at work said happy birthday to me today, and one gave me a card. I passed up an invite to go out after work. I just really wanted to get home for a quiet evening.

Mom's taking her nap before she goes to work, Nipper is busy with his rawhide chew he got for Christmas (it's about half gone!) and I'm watching reruns and playing on the happy.

... and many more!

Tired

The fatigue has hit. Actually it hit last night. I took Nipper for a walk -- the first time in several days, so he was happy -- but maybe I overdid it. I spent the rest of the night on the couch, barely awake, and went to bed a bit early. Today wasn't much better. I went to work, but was still pretty tired all day.

I had lunch with another friend who was visiting family for the holiday from Muncie, where she works for the newspaper there. Another co-worker joined us, but another ex-co-worker wasn't able to make it, since she had a migrane. We met at a classy micro-brewery and diner downtown. It was our first time there, and it was actually pretty good. I've heard mixed reviews about the place, but my chicken club was good. I don't drink, so can't tell you anything about the beer (although my friend said the pumpkin ale was pretty good). She gave me a ceramic star Christmas ornament that she made at one of those pottery shops where you paint the thing you want and they fire it for you. I thought it was cool she would do that.

My parents and I celebrated my birthday early at my dad's house tonight (tomorrow is the real day). We had a simple dinner, since none of us seemed to feel that great, and chocolate cake, and then I got my gifts. The big one I saw right off as I walked in the door. Mom, Dad and my brother got me a curio cabinet to keep all my Peanuts collectibles in. There's even a good spot for it in the bedroom. Mom and Dad put it mostly together at his house, so we had to load it up in Mom's truck and bring it home. We're both too tired to finish putting the door on and the shelves in, so maybe that will be a weekend project.

Mom also got me a Snoopy & Woodstock statue to put in the garden. They're in they're Beagle Scout gear and it's really cute.

That's it for now. I'm going to go get comfy and crawl into bed and watch reruns until I fall asleep.

A good day

Of all my chemo days, this one has been one of the best. We went in this morning and I got weighed and got the usual questions from the nurse. Then I visited with the doctor -- not my doctor, she's on vacation, I think. But this guy was pretty nice. He said the dry skin on my face was something that happens a lot, but showed a bit of concern about the rash on my chest and neck. My nurse (one of my favorites today) said it could be from the morphine I had when I was in the hospital with the kidney stones, even more than a week later.

We had to wait awhile before starting the chemo, because they had to do lab work. I was supposed to have it done yesterday, at the path lab that's just off the hospital's main lobby, but when I went, it was closed. So they drew the blood this morning and it took about an hour to get the results back. The herceptin was first and took about an hour through the IV drip. I got lunch delivered -- not bad for hospital food: baked chicken breast, corn, baked potato, chicken and rice soup, and cake for dessert. The new drug, Navelbine, was a "push," meaning the nurse uses a syringe to infuse the drug over a certain amount of time (about six minutes in this case).

It will probably bring my white blood cell count down, so I'll have to go back to my "isolation chamber" at work -- basically a storage area off the conference room. It can also cause some numbness or tingling in my hands and feet, but my doctor said this one doesn't have it as bad as the Taxotere can. So far, no nausea, and not really any fatigue. I didn't fall asleep during this one and I actually feel pretty good. I'll still take tomorrow off, because you never know, it could all hit me after a day or so.

Mom probably had it rougher than I did this morning. The store must have been busy, because she didn't get home until almost 8 a.m., and I think she was already tired from working Christmas night! The treatment room I was in this morning was one of the smaller ones with only one cushy recliner in it, so Mom was trying to get comfortable in the waiting-room type chair. She did manage a short nap or two, but it couldn't have been comfortable.

After we got home, we watched "Gangs of New York," and by the time that was over, we both needed naps. Now we're just lazing around watching the Kennedy Center Honors, and I have to say Robert Redford is still kinda hot.

P.S. Welcome to new readers. I've gotten a couple of plugs that have sent some traffic this way from here and here. Thanks for the links and kind words, guys!

Do they make Chapstick for your face?

The skin on my face is so dry today. You know that burning feeling you get when your lips are really dry? That's what my whole face feels like, especially under my eyes and on my eyelids. I slathered my face with lotion last night and this morning, but it didn't really help. I felt a little better after drinking about four cups of water, but it still kind of burns. I also have a slight rash around my collar bones that itched quite a bit this afternoon. And the skin on my neck is so sensitive that under normal conditions, I touch it and I get a long-lasting red blotch, so you imagine how this looked. When I was in the hospital last weekend, my doctor noticed a rash then, but it wasn't really bothering me. So I guess I have a couple questions for her tomorrow.

On the good side of the day, I got to see a good friend I haven't seen in a while, since her wedding this summer. They live in Connecticut, and it's obvious the distance is taking a toll on both of them. They plan on coming back to the Midwest, but both need another year or two of good experience before they want to move on career-wise. Probably a good choice, but I miss having her around. So we had a good evening, at her in-laws house. She asked me to bring Nipper, I think because she misses her own dog, and they're all dog people, so he had a good time too. He got cookies and some grilled beef and ice cream ... they spoiled him like he was their own. My friend gave Nipper a vanilla-flavored rawhide chew and gave me a cool picture frame. It was good to see her and get caught up. I only wish they could be here longer. But that's life, isn't it? Maybe sometime next year I can go see them.

Merry Christmas!

Hope everyone had a good day, whether or not or you celebrate a holiday today. Ours was quiet and simple. We slept in late, had apple cinnamon muffins for breakfast and read the paper. Dad came over around 10:30 a.m. and we opened the presents. Dad and I got a lot more than Mom did, but I think she always enjoys the giving more than anything. Nipper even got his share of presents, mostly edible.

We grilled KC strip steaks this afternoon, since it was such a nice day -- almost 60 degrees. We didn't do anything special to them, just put them on the grill. The smoky taste was perfect enough for December. Mashed potatoes, a salad and Dutch apple pie rounded out the meal. Afterwards, Dad headed to his place to watch the game, and Mom, Nipper and I took naps.

Mom has taken off for work at the Major Discount Store. She'll be cleaning the front end as others stock the shelves for the big after-Christmas sale and happy returns. I head to work in the morning. All in all, a good day, but in the end, it's back to the grind.

'Twas the ... oh you know

I had to work today. This is the second year in a row I've worked Christmas weekend. Doesn't seem fair, but what can you do? I was gone most of the week, and I didn't want anyone else to have to change their plans on short notice, but still. Maybe next week I'll put myself down on the newsroom calendar to be off for Christmas.

There was a fatal accident here Friday night. A car with five teenagers ran a stop sign on a county road and collided with a car driven by a local woman. A 16-year-old died and three others plus the woman in the other car were flown to a larger hospital overnight. One of the other kids might be paralyzed, but our reporter didn't get any confirmation on that. It would be horrible to lose a loved one or have them injured like that at any time, but at Christmas it must be a hundred times worse, with the unopened presents reminding them of the tragedy long after they should have been opened. I don't know any of the families, but I send some prayers their way.

Tomorrow for us, just a quiet day is planned. It's supposed to be around 60 degrees, so we're planning on throwing some steaks on the grill sometime in the afternoon. Presents in the morning, of course. Not too early, because we like to sleep in. Although, even though I'm all grown up, I do find it difficult to get to sleep on Christmas Eve, just like when I was a kid.

Hope you and yours have a good one Sunday, no matter what (of if) you celebrate.

Back to work

I went back to work this afternoon. Everybody seemed pretty glad to see me, which always makes you feel good. It was pretty slow around the office, as it always is this time of year. We really have to stretch to fill the paper some days at the end of the year. Hence, all the end-of-the-year wrapups and top ten stories of the year type of stuff we publish. We started the top ten last year, and it's a pretty good idea, at least from the aspect of filling some space.

Tomorrow, a full day, and then I work Saturday on the desk for Sunday's paper. We're looking at a 7 p.m. press time (as opposed to the usual midnight), so that won't be so bad. Then back to work Monday, and chemo on Tuesday. I'll take an extra day Wednesday to recover from that, and then it's probably back in my little "office" since I think the drug I'll be starting Tuesday is also one that affects my immune system. Well, I'll have a private place to gripe about things again at least.

Feeling better from the kidney stone adventure. Still a little sore in the kidney area, but it doesn't seem that bruised. Had a bit of "pebbles" last night move through, I think, but they said it could take up to two weeks for all the pieces of the stone to flush through my system. Yay.

I'm back!

Man, I feel better than I have since Friday night.

Spent the entire afternoon at the hospital to get the soundwave treatment for my kidney stone. They put me under for the procedure, so I don't remember any of it. All I know is that after I woke up and got over the grogginess, I felt about 80 percent better. I just have a little soreness in my back, and the nurse said I was starting to show some bruising.

I think how I feel is mostly just mental. I was so down in the dumps yesterday and not looking forward to being in the hospital again, it just made me cry. Nipper had to put in a lot of comfort time for me this morning.

We left the hospital a little before 5 p.m., stopped to pick up some KFC to satisfy my craving, and headed home. As we walked in the door, the phone was ringing. It was co-worker calling to see if she could bring over the bonus we got at work this week -- a couple of Chamber of Commerce gift certificates for $10 each. Hey, that's much more than we've gotten the last two or three years!

I might go to work for awhile tomorrow afternoon. I'll see how I feel. It may just be the Percocet making me feel like I could do that.

Getting kind of sleepy, and Nipper is really wanting to snuggle with me, so I think I'll sign off and go lie in bed for while. Thanks to everyone for your e-mails and good thoughts!

Looking for an end

I am so tired of the hospital. The people who work there are great, I will say, but I am just tired of being there, seeing the institutional colors and answering the same questions 20 times in one morning. And I get to do it all again tomorrow afternoon.

I had the procedure to put in the stent this morning. It went OK and I was home before 1 p.m., when the Home Depot contractor came by to install my Christmas present from my mom and dad -- a storm door for the front entrance to the house. It works rather well. We had the front door open for awhile and couldn't really feel any cold air coming in. If only we'd had this for the last couple snow storms! It has a retracting screen in the upper part, so that will be nice when warm weather comes again. Nipper didn't even try to walk through it. He just stood and had that "open, already, wouldya" look on his face he does with other doors.

Poor dog is starting to go stir crazy. He pulled a small football out of his basket of toys and played with it for a bit, and Mom and I kind of tossed it around for him. He's not really a plays-with-toys kind of dog, so that's a sign he's bored and has a lot of pent-up energy. I don't go back to the hospital until noon tomorrow, so maybe I can take him out in the morning and throw the old shoes he likes to play with in the yard or take him down to the creek and exercise his sniffer, too.

I'm really grateful for Mom & Dad being here, and Nipper too, because I can't imagine going through all this stuff by myself. I know my brother would be here if he could, but your e-mails are a big help, bro. And same for those long-distance friends and even you complete strangers who have wandered by here somehow and left comments. It's been hard these last few days to keep upbeat about everything. It seems like everything was going so well, and then BAM this happens to knock me down a bit. I'll keep going though, because what choice do I have?

It gets worse

I didn't make it in to work today. I was doing fine until I woke up at 5 a.m. on the dot, and my back was hurting. I thought maybe I had just slept in a funny position and my back was stiff, but after about 10 minutes I knew that wasn't true. I tried lying still for awhile to see if it would go away, but it didn't. I was a bit scared about it. I called Mom at work and asked her what she thought we should do. We decided I'd take a Percocet and see how it goes.

The painkiller helped and I was able to get some more sleep. I didn't have to take another until noon, but this one worked only for about three hours. I'm only supposed to take one every four hours. So we called the urologist's office, and they said either I could get a scrip for stronger pain pills and wait until Wednesday when I'm supposed to get it taken care of any way, or I could come in tomorrow and have a stent put in so the urine can go around the stone (which was going to be done Wednesday anyway). I opted for getting the stent early.

So I go in early tomorrow morning and get that taken care of. No Herceptin infusion tomorrow; they can make that up next week. And then I still go in Wednesday for the sound waves, at least as far as I know. The big problem is, I can't have anything after midnight because I'll be getting anesthesia, so any pain I get overnight I'm just going to have to tough it out.

It sounds like a cliche, but I'm getting sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. It really stinks that it's happening at this time of year, too. It hasn't put me in the Christmas spirit at all, and I'm looking forward more to this episode being over rather than the holiday. My birthday is a week from Friday and I had hoped to do a little something, maybe go out after work this Friday with co-workers, since I've got a big chemo next Tuesday and probably won't feel up to it on the real day, and maybe do something with the parents as well. Now I don't feel up to that either.

I'm just ready for this crap to be over with.

And how was your weekend?

I hadn't planned on doing much this weekend, but this isn't what I had in mind.

(Warning: Talk of bodily functions ahead.)

I'm lying on the couch Friday, watching the end of the evening news when I started to feel a discomfort in my left abdomen. By the time Bob Schieffer had signed off, it had built up into a sharp, stabbing pain. I shoved the dog off me and walked around the living room a bit. I tried to go to the bathroom. Nothing. The pain was getting worse. I went and told mom. She put in a call to the oncology center's hotline and talked to a nurse. She suggested going to the ER. So off we went.

We got there about 7 p.m., so I had been in pretty bad pain for about an hour. Of course, it was quite awhile before I got to see the doctor. He asked all the usual questions and questions about my cancer and chemo, they took some blood and even though I didn't feel like I could, I squeezed out enough urine for a sample.

So Mom and I waited and waited some more, and the nurse popped in once in awhile to let us know what was going on. I think there might have been an accident victim or two brought in while I was there, and I don't know that there was more than one doctor in the ER, so it was quite a wait. I did get a little morphine, so at least the pain died down.

Finally, the doctor comes in the exam room and asks Mom if she could step out for a minute, there were some other exams he needed to do. Oh, great, I thought. Does this mean getting undressed from the waist down?

"The reason I asked you mother to leave is I don't like to embarrass people in front of their parents," he started. "Your pregnancy test came up positive."

WHAT?!?! "Uh, yeah that can't be right," I stammered. Really. I mean, add it up: I've had cancer, I'm going through chemo, I'm almost bald and my mother lives with me. What are you think the odds are I'm even THINKING of doing anything like that?

I explained to him that it just couldn't be possible. "Although," I added, "it IS Christmas." At least I gave him a good laugh for the night.

He'd already called my oncologist, who said the positive result could be from the Herceptin, although she'd never heard of it happening. It seems the drug is made from hamster ovaries. A year of Herceptin treatment can cost upwards of $48,000. That's a lot of hamsters.

They arranged to have a sonogram done of my ovaries and uterus to double check, even though I told them there's NO WAY, but they wanted to also check and make sure there wasn't a cyst or something in there. I won't go into details about the sonogram. If you're female, you probably know why. Let's just say the device she was using looked like something out of a bad porno movie.

My oncologist came in while that was being done and watched for a bit. She did not look happy. She left after a few minutes and it sounded like she was talking to someone, maybe on her cell phone. When the sonogram was finished, she said she needed to talk to me before they took me back to the ER.

"I thought I was going to have to have a very serious talk with you," she said.

No kidding. I was ready to have a very serious talk with God. Y'know, where was the heavenly spotlight and booming voice? Shouldn't I at least get that?

"But it looks like that's not necessary." A second pregnancy test and the sonogram told them what I'd been saying all along. OK, God, you're off the hook.

So that scare over, I headed back to the ER, waited some more, then got a CT scan of my stomach area. Finally the results came in on that -- nearly four hours after we first got to the ER -- I had a kidney stone, four mm. They admitted me right away, and after seeing that I was settled in, Mom took off for home. It had started snowing by then, enough that I could see from my room window the parking lot was covered.

They set me up with an IV for fluids and I think I got more morphine. I didn't think I would sleep too easily, but I actually fell asleep pretty quick and never heard the night nurse coming in to check on me. As she was getting me all set up, we talked about Mexican food. She had an aunt from Mexico that her family visits every year in El Paso, and she said they all cooked up a bunch of food and everyone would take some home. I told her how when I was born and we lived in New Mexico, our neighbor lady was from Mexico and taught Mom how to make some stuff. Which is why I don't call it "chili soup."

I didn't wake up at all until 5 a.m. Saturday. And that's about all I did all day Saturday. Sleep. Call for help to pee. It wasn't so much I needed help, but I had to pee in the thing they call a hat (why? You don't put it on your head, for god's sake) and the nurses then had to strain it to see if I passed the stone. I did need help a couple times, because the morphine made me nauseous and after getting up shortly before lunch I did throw up. Then the nurse brought lunch awhile later and the first smell of the broccoli stuff just set my stomach quivering. The IV machine started beeping about then, so I hit the call button for the nurse, and pretty much as soon as she stepped in the room -- blaaaarf -- there went the cheese and crackers and chocolate pudding I'd had earlier in the morning. I think I got one bite of the beef stew. It was a shame, too because that chocolate cake looked really good. And I hadn't really eaten anything since about 5 p.m. the night before, and all that was was popcorn, apples and cheese and a Cherry Coke. I think some of that was in the bucket, too.

Mom and Dad missed the show literally by just minutes. I'm surprised they couldn't hear me ralphing when they got off the elevator, it was that close. They stayed with me for probably a couple hours, although I certainly wasn't much of a conversationalist. I think I slept most of the time they were there. It had been snowing all through night, and I know they were concerned about the roads, so I told them they didn't have to stay long on my account. It was kind of lonely the rest of the day and the night, but Mom brought me a picture of Nipper, just like I'd done for her when she had her hospital stays.

The rest of Saturday was pretty uneventful. I got some anti-nausea drugs, so I was able to eat some dinner and had breakfast this morning. I was woken up for an X-ray at 6 a.m. (they brought the machine to my room). The urologist came in again (we visited some Saturday) and said the stone hadn't moved at all since Friday night, and since I hadn't had any pain (not much, at least) since later Saturday afternoon, I could go home. I go back Wednesday to have it zapped with sound waves (apparently that's the only day they have that machine here), so as long as I don't have the intense pain come back and take it easy, I should be OK. I have to strain my own pee now, in case I do pass it. I won't tell you how much fun that is.

I'm going to try going to work tomorrow, since I just really do desk work, and my Herceptin chemo should still be scheduled for Tuesday. The week after that, I start on a new drug (whose name I don't remember at the moment) to replace the Taxotere that I had the reaction to a couple weeks ago. This one, though, doesn't cause hair loss! The doc said it might not grow more while I'm on, but I won't lose what I have. Hmmm ... this might be the time to try some wacky colors.

I guess if one good thing can be found in all this, it's that it didn't happen NEXT weekend.

Well, hope everyone had a better weekend than mine.

Later

Cough, cough, sniff

I'm home sick today, having caught a cold from a co-worker. Yes, the same co-worker from whom I caught a cold right after my surgery to put in my port. The cold that lasted over a week. I don't think it will be that bad this time. I don't feel that awful, but decided to stay home so it wouldn't get worse and I'd have to worry about putting off my next treatment. I'm tired, but my throat's feeling better. I can use the time to start, er finish, my Christmas cards.

It's supposed to snow this weekend, starting tonight and with at least a slight chance until Monday. The Weather Channel doesn't hold much hope for a white Christmas, though. That's OK. It's not like I'm expecting a sled for Christmas. Since I'll be working the day before, the day after and have treatment the Tuesday after Christmas, not dealing with snow would be OK by me.

Where's my Muse?

I really thought I would have a lot more to say.

But lately I can't really think of that much. It's like outside of cancer, I don't have anything worthwhile to talk about.

I thought being a part of Holidailies would maybe rekindle something. So far it really hasn't. I can't ever think of anything that sounds like it would be remotely interesting. Not when I'm sleeping, not when I'm showering ...

It wasn't always like this. I used to write all the time. I had opinions. I wrote poetry. I just wrote. Now I just don't have the urge. Maybe I never should have gotten back into reporting all those years ago. Maybe it burned me out from having something to say and a means to say it. Sometimes I feel like I've lost part of myself and don't know how to get it back. Sometimes I wonder if I want it back. Most of the time, I just don't seem to care.

Feeling good

Today's been a good day. I had my second Herceptin infusion today, and I think I'm going to like Tuesdays.

I had my usual kinda down feeling about work, then had to head out about 1 p.m. to my treatment. I got to the cancer center and when the nurse took me into the treatment room, she offered to bring me some hot chocolate. She got a saline started to flush my port and then brought me a couple of chocolate chip cookies. And after getting my hercepton started and taking my blood pressure, she turned out the light and let me have a nice, hour-long nap. It was a nice break in the workday, and when I got back to the office, I was in a great mood. It helped that I also had to go the library to pick up some photos from the history room for the mystery photo contest, so I took my time and also found myself a couple of books -- Janet Evanovich's "Eleven on Top" and "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. I said last year I was going to read it, having only seen various film and TV adaptions, but didn't get around to it. So this year I will.

After work, Mom came in to town and we picked out our Christmas tree and had dinner out. Yesterday in town, I picked up some cheap plastic Christmas bows to put on the fenceposts by the driveway and repaired my recycled Christmas tree and got it lit up (it's made of instant breakfast drink cans spray painted green on the outside with holes drilled in the back to stick multicolored lights in. It's flimsy and and kinda cheap, but it looks nice on the porch. And it's recycled! Just don't kick it on your way in the door!

Now we're watching the finale of "The Amazing Race." Go Bransons! If the weavers win, I will become an atheist.

Urp

Saturday turned out to not be a great day. A friend from work and I got together for lunch before I had to go to work, which is nice, since neither of us gets out that much. We tried a new bbq place run by a guy who used to work at the paper. We both had the roast beef sandwich, and I added the macaroni salad. We sat and talked for about an hour before I had to get to the office. Awhile later, though, I was not feeling that great. My stomach was definitely unsettled, and it never quite back to normal all day or night. I made a lot of trips to the freezing cold bathroom and went through a half a roll of Tums (why do they even bother trying to flavor them like candy?) and a can of Sprite. I was a bit worried being sick had something to do with my chemo last Tuesday, but Judy stopped by later in the afternoon and said she wasn't feeling too well, either. Plus, my neck was stiff, too, and I couldn't get it to pop or anything. All I wanted to do all night was finish up, drive home real fast and get in my comfy bed with my dog curled up against my stomach and a heating pad on my neck. And when I did, it was heaven.

Today, I took it easy. Slept in and started some laundry. Watched "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." I laughed out loud several times. Johnny Depp was charmingly creepy. I'd have to say I like this better than the Gene Wilder version of the story, but that's got an appeal all its own.

Nipper and I took a walk to Dad's house, where Mom had gone after getting work this morning. They were standing out on the porch, watching us arrive. It was funny, because when we were getting ready for our walk, I said to Nipper, "We could go walk to Dad's." And that's exactly what he wanted to do. Normally, when we get to 10th street, we'll head east to the park, but he just wanted to go north -- which we never do. He wanted to follow the road, though. I had to make him cut across the ballfields, which he was happy to do once he figured out that meant I'd take his leash off for awhile.

We visited with Mom & Dad for awhile, and then headed for home with Mom in her truck. She's taking a nap now so we can watch the "Survivor" finale tonight. I'm hoping Danni wins it -- not just because she's from my home state, but because it would be a nice come-from-behind kind of win from someone who was kind of numerically on the odds out of winning. At least I don't HATE any of the last contestants this time. Lydia is maybe the only one who hasn't really played the game, floating along on others' coattails, but she has gotten farther than many.

"Survivor" ends tonight, "Amazing Race" on Tuesday ... can't they time these things a little better? What are we supposed to watch after this week?

I suppose there's always books.

Good one.

It was so darn cold at the office Thursday, that Friday I decided I'd be prepared. I had on the thick thermal underwear, jeans, my company sweatshirt with a hoodie underneath ... I was ready. And of course, it was warm in the office yesterday.

At least it was a decent day, work-wise. Nothing too annoying, but the news was slow. I did page one, and wasn't real happy with it since there just wasn't much to put there. I'm on desk for the Sunday paper today, too, and while there's not a lot of news for us, I had a little fun with the design for page one yesterday. I usually don't get to do too much in any special designing projects. I guess I'm a bit too traditional for what the bosses want. Stick to just a couple, maybe three, fonts and that's it. Keep It Simple, Stupid. Sometimes I think we cross the line in our page one designs in how outrageous they get. Kind of gaudy, sometimes. Sure, it's fun to design, but you still should have your page one say "this is a newspaper." Not "look, we have computers!"

Anyway, I have to go fill the birdfeeders. It's not as cold today, already about 40 degrees, but the critters need their fuel. And Nipper needs to get out and play. We've hardly been out all week, so I'll bundle up and take him down to the creek for awhile. He'll be happy.

Brrrr!

Today was just freezing! It was below zero when I woke up, and I don't think it warmed up much over about 15 degrees above zero during the day. I wore two layers top and bottom to work and that wasn't even enough. I put on my ever-present sweater I keep at work (even wear it during the summer, that's how screwey our system is) and by the afternoon had a blanket across my lap. And I was still cold.

And don't even get me started on the women's bathroom. I swear I saw ice forming in the toilet bowl.

Fortunately, I have a decent car now, and it warms up pretty good. Still, today, it took about half my 15-minute commute for the CRV to warm up nicely. In the old 89 Mustang I used to have, I wouldn't have even bothered turning on the heater on a day like today. I wouldn't have driven as fast over parts of the road, either.

No more adverse affects from Tuesday's chemo, so that's good. There's some good news about Herceptin today (which is what I started on Tuesday), but there's also some not so great news about breast cancer.

Yawn

My first-ever Hollidailies entry and there's nothing to report. It's been quiet today, especially compared to yesterday, but maybe that's a good thing. I'm kind of tired, but not like the days after my past rounds of chemo. I've been taking it easy, in case I do have another allergic reaction, but I've gotten some things done around the house. Unloaded the dishwasher and loaded the dirty dishes (after taking a break) and even scooped some snow off the walk after filling the birdfeeders this morning.

Finished watching "The Pacifier" a bit ago, and it wasn't too bad. I wouldn't give it four stars, but it was a good snowy-day distraction. Maybe I'll do some surfing and then get back to my book, "murder@maggody.com," by Joan Hess. I don't remember reading this one, but I do know I read the one after this one in the series. So either I skipped this one or the chemo brain erased it completely!

Tonight, not much planned. Maybe I'll just finish the book and go back to the library tomorrow and see if they got anything good in over the last few days. Maybe I'll see if they're getting then new Sue Grafton Kinsey Milhone novel, "S is for Silence." It wasn't in their electronic card catalog the other day. There's usually a waiting list for her books though, so if you're reading it now, don't spoil it for me!

Is there anything worse than daytime TV? Yeesh.

Didn't go so well

Back from my treatment this afternoon, and it was a bit of a doozey. It went OK at first with the usual anti-nausea drugs I get first, but I didn't immediately fall asleep this time. Then came the Hercepton, which went fine.

Then I got the Taxotere. At first it was just a slow drip and the nurse stayed in the room to make sure I wouldn't have any adverse reaction. After about 15 minutes, she said she would increase the drip, and no sooner did she sit back down when I started feeling a bit flushed and there was a bit of tightness in my chest. Mom said my face got red and my eyes lost color and my hands went pale. About the time the nurse asked if I was OK for the second time, boom! My chest tightened like an accordion! She turned off the flow on IV drip and called for help. Suddenly there was another nurse putting oxygen tubes in my nose, the first nurse was putting one of those finger pulse-readers on me, and a doctor came in the room and listened to my breathing through a stethoscope, then my regular doctor came in ... there were about half a dozen medical personnel in the room all checking on me, doing this and that.

My heart rate went up to about 100 beats per minute and didn't come down much further in the half-hour I waited there. It was all kind of scary there for a bit, but the staff all seemed to know exactly what to do, so that helped keep me from panicking. They said this happens about once a month.

I'm back home and feeling OK now. Have some medicine to take to help keep any allergic reaction from popping up again. I'm tired though, so probably will be taking tomorrow off. I didn't get much of the Taxotere, so the side effects shouldn't be too bad.

I go back in next Tuesday and the Tuesday after that for the Herceptin. On the second Tuesday, I'll visit again with my oncologist and lay out another plan for treatment. It could be Taxol instead, but that's in the same family as Taxotere, so I could have the same reaction to it. So I guess we'll see.

All in all, this one was an interesting day.

A bit tired

My legs hurt. Like I've been walking all day. But I haven't. Haven't even taken a walk with the dog today (it was only in the 30s).

I took Decadron for the first time this morning. It's a steroid that's supposed to help keep me from having an allergic reaction to the Taxotere. I don't know if that's the cause of my leg pain or if it's the Muga test I had today. I think I talked about this before. Basically, I have my blood drawn, the tech adds some radiological material to it, lets it set up for about half and hour and then injects it back in my body. A special camera that picks up the radiation then takes a picture of of my body. Today they focused on my chest to see if my heart is in good enough shape. I have to have an output of 50 percent. I think it's mainly in relation to getting the Herceptin, as that can cause heart damage itself (not permanent, though.) I'll have to have this test about every eight weeks to make sure I'm OK.

Tomorrow is the first chemo with the Taxotere. I'm a little nervous. It has the same basic side effects as the previous drugs I had, but also there can be numbness or pain in the hands, and fingernail discoloration (in rare cases, the fingernails can fall out). I could react completely different with this one as far as the nausea, or it could be the same as the last rounds. I hope I don't have problems with my hands, since that could make working on a computer difficult. Tune in Wednesday to find out.

In the mood?

I woke up this morning to falling snow. Not the wind-driven blizzard kind, but just a light powdery kind gently drifting to the ground. I bundled up and took Nipper with me to refill the bird feeders and we tramped around the creek together and played in the backyard for awhile. Now we're sitting on my bed where I can look out the window and watch the birds at the feeders while sipping hot chocolate and nibbling on shortbread cookies while listening to "A Charlie Brown Christmas." The snow is getting lighter now, but it's the perfect kind to remind you of the season.

Outside at the feeders are a couple of female cardinals (unusual to see), juncos, house finches, gold finches (in their winter green/gray), numerous sparrows and even a mourning dove. I've seen four doves at the feeders at once. Usually I don't see them at all. It must be a tough winter for the birds.

I found out recently that a couple of people I know with breast cancer have had recurrences. One is my mom's college friend, Bonnie, who has been a real inspiration. She's dealt with bc about five times in the last decade or so. She's taking a drug now to try to reduce the tumors. The other is an online friend who has been dealing with bc a couple years and provided some comfort and guidance after I was diagnosed. She had surgery recently to remove one tumor from her brain, and has several more that they will have to figure out how to deal with. I send my best hopes for both of them.

Not much on the schedule for today. Laundry. Maybe some reading. Maybe some online Christmas shopping. Just a nice, quiet weekend. Hope yours is, too.

Later